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Hanging with a girl on a Sunday night It's a quarter past 9, yeah, time is tight
Had dinner at Arby's, fine cuisine Yo, check it out, I'm a love machine
Got her flowers, got her candy Hope these singles come in handy
Think we're heading back to my place Got some candles just in case, so
Hour after, in the pool It's getting hot, but I play it cool
I'm changing clothes, dressed like a tool But when I looked down, it was something cruel
(SHRINKAGE, BABY) It's a legitimate thing
Cuz I just got outta the pool and it was 40 *** degrees
(SHRINKAGE, BABY) Don't be pointing at me
Oh, I swear to God, don't say a word Or you're walking home now
Stop! It's Joel, don't wear it out Name's hard to say when we're making out
Single, double, triple hit Whatever base, I don't give a ***
Catch her looking, catch her peeping Just pretend that I was sleeping
Waiting for her to make a move Whatever she's thinking, I approve
Wondering when that moment's right Just hope that moment comes tonight
My eyes are on the minute hand Until I reach that promised land
Finally, she says hello But apparently the lights were low
I thought she was pretty up to now, But damn, this chick's got a unibrow
(SHRINKAGE, BABY) This never happens to me
You were good from afar, but far from good And I'm sorry but I misunderstood
(SHRINKAGE, BABY) It's a natural thing
Cuz you went from a treat down to a trick And unfortunately, that's shrinking me quick
(WOAH-OH-OHH) It's something automatic
(WOAH-OH-OHH) Woah! It's something so erratic
(WOAH-OH-OHH) It's something problematic
(WOAH-OH-OHH) It's something so dramatic
When you're talking with a woman on The Internet and killing it
You're chilling on the Mike & Molly message board and feeling it
You try to bag a hottie Get a picture of her body
Then you find out she's a dude (SHRINKAGE)
Going on a date and everything is going great, and so you
Wanna get the check, and now it's getting kinda late, and so you
Go back to her pad, and now you're getting kinda mad, cuz you were
Forced to watch The View (SHRINKAGE)
Eating a banana, and you're hanging with your nana, and you're
Watching NFL with Cincinnati and Atlanta, and your
Grandpa waddles in and gets on over to your nana, and they
Start to get it on (SHRINKAGE)
Hanging with the fellas, and your shorty's getting jealous, cuz you're
Watching UFC and you are getting overzealous, and she
Takes your buddy's sack and goes to lead him to the back, and then she
Cheats on you three times
Oh. Uhh...uhh...sh- sh--
(SHRINKAGE, BABY) It's not a problem, you see
Cuz it's tough sometimes, but you gotta know That I can't always be good down below
(SHRINKAGE, BABY) Don't be hating on me
Cuz it's just a roll of quarters in my pocket Girl, what else could it be?
(WOAH-OH-OHH) It's something so sporadic
(WOAH-OH-OHH) So please don't talk about it
(WOAH-OH-OHH) No need to get dramatic
(WOAH-OH-OHH) I said don't talk about it!
HCP at it again...ha!
That ***'s mountaintops (Shrinkage...)
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