Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
"Christmas Eve is the scariest damn night of the year."
"deck the halls with boughs of holly"
Merry Christmas from my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
"It's Christmas eve and we've got orders to bring in Santa Claus."
Silent Night Deadly Night is a cause celebre amongst horror fans because it was picketed and roundly trashed on its release on the basis that a film featuring a murderous Santa Claus might traumatise kids.
"I don't bring toys to naughty children... I punish them severely"
Which it might.
"Have you been good?"
In the same way that if you let them watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre they may develop a fear of lumberjacks.
Frankly if you let your kids watch it, I don’t think you can blame the filmmakers.
"I am not interested in what you think"
We’re focussing on the film itself.
"I wouldn't if I were you."
Little Billy’s grandfather tells him all about Santa.
"You see Santa Claus tonight you better run boy."
Oh well that’s enough to screw up any kid.
And if not then that oughta do it
Ok, we’re 25 minutes in can we agree that the link between Christmas
being naughty and punishment is well and truly established and the kid has a bit of a complex.
It’s less like foreshadowing and more like having the movie go...
‘Do you get it? Can we move on? You know what? I’ll go over it again it’s no problem.’
"He needs help Mother Superior"
Finally, 40 minutes in we reach the point that we could surely have reached half an hour ago
As Billy dresses up as Santa...
"By the time this party is over you will think you are Santa Claus."
Choaking sounds
But at least now we know why he does it right?
"Everything he has been doing has a kind of logic to it, once you understand what he's gone through."
Well… no.
"You're crazy."
Punishing the naughty has been hammered home as his motivation.
"Mommy you shouldn't have said that. It's naughty to say mean thing about old people. Santa Claus will punish you."
But what did this guy do
Or this woman?
Sidebar, what sort of toy store carries bows and arrows and guns?
That kind of toy store.
"Ooooh no."
Sex is definitely naughty.
"Two ball in the corner pocket."
but this couple is inside, how would Billy know what they were doing?
"Kitty?"
Although I suppose how she answers the door is a bit of a giveaway.
"Merry Christmas"
Nice that she took the time to put shorts on, you don’t want the neighbours getting the wrong idea.
The first half of this movie insists that it isn’t just gratuitous blood and ***
This is psychology!
"Argh! Sister look!"
And then abandons that completely for a few memorable deaths.
"Punish!"
"Oh God!"
There is absolutely room for a film about a Santa Claus Killer who punishes the naughty
"Punishment is necessary Pamela."
But it doesn’t take a half a movie and three flavours of motivation to set it up.
"But all of a sudden you have this *** attitude problem"
What's infuriating is that it is a good idea pissed up the wall.
"NO!"
I'm sorry if this is starting to sound like a proper review but I suppose it had to happen eventually.
"Are you having a religious experience?"
People passionately defend Silent Night Deadly Night because it was attacked, not because it was good.
"I don't think so."
And the result of this passionate defence was another 4 films and a remake!
"Naughty."
Where’s an axe wielding Santa when you need him?
"There is no Santa Claus. There is no Santa Claus"