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The stand up comedians present: comic Dylan Rhymer - Deliverance. Live at the Waldorf Hotel, Vancouver, Canada. And then right before they went to commercial
this actually happened
right before they went to commercial, the newscaster goes
we're gonna be back
with more on this story after the following commercial breaks. Plus...
a sex offender
and he smiled. I swear he smiled just a little bit, but then he realized, he was, like, oh,
I shouldn't smile with the word sex offender. But then the word sex offender came up in big
orange letters. I guess
orange is the most sex offender-y color or whatever, right
but that was their hook, that was supposed to keep you going through the commercial
break right
and, I'm just thinking, what kind of f'ing weirdo, psycho is going: I can't change the channel - gotta see the sex offender? ME! I was the
freak weirdo.
I had to see the sex offender. I was so, I was rivited. Rivited!
Just glued to the screen
gotta see the sex offender. Gotta see what this guy looks like. I have to see if this guy looks like what I think he looks like
and he did. He did not disappoint!
this guy was such a sex offender
i've never seen anyone like this. He, he was so sex offender-y that
if he wasn't a sex offender - he may as well just go out and start sex offending because no one would believe him
looking like that, right, like
you know how people all over the world who claim
that they've been abducted by aliens and they've never met each other
they all draw the same weird ET-looking alien
if I got everyone this room and everyone watching this on the internet
to draw a sex offender
you would have totally drawn this guy - it was...
the same long, stringy, Nick Nolte hair. Hawaiian shirt.
He's wearing shorts with, like, socks...
and *** sandals... right
everything about it
i don't know where they found this guy. They must have gone down to like Chucky Cheese and sucked all
the balls out of the ballroom and just found him lying there
He's perfect! Grab him and throw a net over him and drag him on down to Fox news and put him in a rusty
cage! whenever the ratings start to tip rupert murdoch just goes release the
sex offender Kraken!
Big rusty gate opens up like the Rancor monster in Return of the Jedi
Arrgh
Running around. He's got a little camera on the side of his head: it's called sex offender cam and they have
like a little
mannekin dressed as a boy scout and he just goes in and *** it in the head
and then it's just the word fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear fear
over and over and over again
and they go to commercial and try to sell you *** pills and life insurance and
*** repellent
That is the state of our news. Dylan Rhymer - Deliverance. Watch the whole special at http://thestandupcomedians.com