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One Saturday, my dad accompanies me to the park
I would throw up a baseball myself and hit it,
and then my dad would chase down the ball.
Things were going smoothly until I,
being my manly man self,
hit the ball over the 6 foot high fence.
The ball landed in a patch of weeds,
and we could not find it.
I went home and was scolded by my mom about
losing my balls and how expensive they were.
Meanwhile, my dad is just relaxing on the side,
reading a newspaper, ignoring my nagging mom as usual.
Frustrated and audacious, I go up to him
and give him a fresh cut, a slap
on the back of the neck with an open palm.
He looks up, stunned.
The next thing I know, he walks up to me
with his shoe in his hand, and asks
“ Are you going to do that again?”
I said “idk maybe”.
The next moment is sort of a blur,
all I remember is having marks on my arm
as if someone had stomped on it a couple of times
I learned fast from the whooping,
and I learned valuable life lessons.
Never hit someone without thinking of what happens after.
Never take what your dad does for you for granted
(after that, he never came with me to the park again).
Be unselfish when playing a sport or game
The goal of punishment is for children to understand
what they did wrong and what motivated them to do it.
But what is the most effective way to punish a child?
Most parents agree that few discipline measures stop a child
from misbehaving as quickly as a swift smack or blow on the bottom.
However, recent studies such as the one at Tulane University
found that spanking was a strong predictor of violent behavior.
The odds of a child being more aggressive at age 5 increased
by 50% if he had been spanked
more than twice in the month before the study began.
Those children were defiant, demanded immediate satisfaction of their wants
frustrated easily, have temper tantrums,
and lash out physically against other people or animals.
On the other hand, other research groups found that
very mild spanking used as a backup
for mild disciplinary measures affects may not be detrimental
and can reduce noncompliance and fighting.
According to Diana Baumrind,
there are currently 3 ethical views on discipline:
Pro-corporal punishment:
Biblical Quotation “Spare the rod and spoil the child”.
Those who support corporal punishment believe that
desirable consequences such as respect for authority, good behavior,
and socialization all follow from the use of spanking.
Anti-corporal punishment:
“Violence begets violence” Those who support this view believe
that corporal punishment has short and long term
deleterious consequences.
Conditional view:
Corporal punishment has either negative or positive effects.
It all depends on the frequency and intensity of the punishment,
as well as the context.
I found that most researchers agree that
there are numerous viable alternatives to spanking:
Reason, verbal instruction, and negotiation
Gives children motivation for compliance
by helping them to internalize the benefits of complying.
It is likely to increase a child’s cooperation and responsive behavior.
Time-outs:
Denying the child any interaction, positive/negative
for a specific period of time.
Quiet moments force children to calm down
and think about their emotions rather than acting on them reflexively.
I personally support the conditional view.
Although I accept the argument of the anti-corporal punishment group,
I do believe that corporal punishment has its own unique benefits.
The only problem is I need to know what those benefits are.
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