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One of the
commonalities of most arcade games...is that, they're mostly about your reflexes, right?
They really focus on gaming skill in the purest sense. Which is to say, hand-eye coordination,
quick reactions, things like that. Then there were games like Qix, that combined that kind
of gaming skill...with actual thought.
You needed fast thumbs to play Qix, but you also needed a fast brain.
Using them both, at the same time? That's hard, man.
Much like the first London Marathon, the Soviet Union's first daylight savings and Ric Flair's
first world heavyweight championship, the first Qix came in 1981. Pretty eventful year,
wouldn't you say? Anyway, there was an updated version of Qix eight years later called Volfied,
continuing the series' rich tradition of awkward names.
Qix Neo is basically just Volfied for the original PlayStation.
This was actually a pretty late PlayStation release. It didn't come out until 2003. For
some perspective, that was the same year as Viewtiful Joe, and the Wind Waker. The next
generation had long since begun, but that also meant...you could release games like
this at a budget price. And if you picked up Qix Neo, almost a decade after the release
of its platform, you got a slick little retro experience.
And a headache, too. Probably.
So like Volfied, Qix Neo essentially beefs up the old Qix formula. You have a screen,
you control a little ship thing, you have to eliminate as much of that screen as possible.
You do that by drawing lines. If you can draw a closed line segment, from one point to another,
the closed area disappears. It's a lot like Dig Dug II, actually, but with more geometry.
And less explosives.
The catch, of course, is that...you're invincible as long as you're on the border. But as soon
as you make a move into the screen, you're vulnerable until you can connect the line
segment. And that's where the differences with Qix Neo come into play. Because there
are freaking enemies everywhere.
See, each level has these...weird mechanical beast monsters, or something. Flying in formation.
Therein lies the thinking. If you can figure out their patterns, you can make a run for
it and draw your lines a lot easier. Otherwise, it's a crap shoot. It's a crap shoot most
of the time I play. You beat the level as soon as you clear 75 percent of the space,
but...I've been told it's possible to get 99.9 percent.
I want to believe that's a lie. I'm not sure what to believe anymore.
I'll tell you what I do believe, though. That sometimes, the bargain bin can harbor treasures
untold. Especially at the end of a console's life. This one was sent to us by Tony from
Delaware, Ohio...dude runs a place called Gameplay Unlimited. See that, send us crap,
get a cheap plug. And listen, nothing's worth more for your career than...me, giving you
a plug. Ask Emma Watson—her career is taking off!
It's all because of me.
And Qix Neo. She probably likes Qix Neo.