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- You see, I am a person who doesn't like the expression "self-acceptance".
It's an invention of psychologists who live a batty life.
- Maybe self-knowing...
- Because self-acceptance means that I'm making a deal with myself.
It means that I have a negative feature which I accept.
No, it shouldn't be done like this.
But I still have this negative feature and I learn to deal with it.
It means that I have some stain inside me
which I don't like, but I accept it.
So I'm a kind of a yellow-dog, I don't like him, but I accept him.
So I am. I don't like this "sonny of a ***" but I accept him.
No. The point is to...
to know oneself or to get to oneself in such a way which leads
to excluding... not him
Because self-acceptance means that we keep holding him
but to excluding the need to feed him.
Because acceptance means a compromise.
I'll say it in another way so you can understand.
Imagine that you come to me
saying: "Andrzej, you know, I like you, and you?"
And I say "I accept you".
Do yo follow me? (-Yes, yes) I can accept my feature,
but if I would say "I accept you" it would be like a hitting your face.
- Like slamming the door. -Exactly. But towards oneself
How often is it spoken, i would say,
in esoteric, psychological messages "I accept myslef"?
- Very often. - Exactly, very often. "Accept yourself" and so on.
So come with your acceptance to bed and tell your husband
"You know, I accept you in my bed tonight".
And he will get up and "accept" you
and tell you "From tonight I accept my neighbor".
Let's try to... - realise the meaning of the word.
-... to realise the meaning of the word beause
self-acceptance means making a compromise.
In interpersonal relation...
If I would say
"You know, you *** me off for many reasons
but I'll make a compromise with you
because today I want something from you, but generally I don't like you"
It is an acceptance.
And that's how we talk to ourselves: "I accept myself".
So in reality we admit
that we are making a compromise with ourselves,
we admit that we have many closed valves,
there's a pressure there and we don't allow our complexes,
shortcomings to let go, to come out,
because we accept ourselves...
Someone would say: "So should I not accept myself?"
No. You should approach yourself in different way.
It's not about accepting or not accepting something
because either we accept ourselves or not,
our skin's colour still will be the same.
Do you follow me? - Yes, yes.
- Because how can we accept things that are obvious?
They are such as they are.
We can change them because they can be not our things
but here we come into the subject of karma
but not the subject of acceptance.
Imagine yourself an alcoholic who stands in front of the mirror...
"I accept myslelf... I'm not going to argue with myself anymore...
I accept myself..." He says it to mirror
and there he sees a face of an alcoholic.
After a month he doesn't have any compunshions caused by keeping drinking.
- Yes. He has accepted himself, he has made a deal with himself.
- Do you understand? - Yes yes, that's right.
"Because I am such a man. I'm a drunkard."
We go to... We have... How is it called...
I have a big belly and I'm going to persuade myself
"I accept myself in a way that I am".
No, I don't accept myself in such form.
Even if I make me believe it, I will know that I've been lying
when I will stand in front of the mirror.
It's a pure form of hypocrisy.
Do you understand? - Sure.
- Someone can say that he accepts us
but it means that he takes us from the one side
"You have some defects", but [from the other] "You have also some skills".
"Amount of skills is greater than number of defects
and I will get over these defects.
The balance of my being with you is positive."
Now say to yourself like to someone else
"You know, Rodin, my balance of being with you is positive..."
So I'm making a business with myself...
- You've just done a very nice thing.
You have explained the word from completely different plane
than is understood by million of people who...
- Because I'm a very wise man :D