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This program contains coarse language, mature themes, and the strong opinions of Dan Savage.
Viewer discretion is advised.
You know what's not normal? Normal isn't normal.
What we think of of normal isn't normal.
People who just want to have missionary position vaginal intercourse with the person they married for 70 years,
they are freaks. That is not normal.
They are in the minority.
In my twenty plus years of being a sex advice collumnist
I am still constantly asked about the line between normal and not normal,
or weird or bad or icky or *** or too strange sex.
People are obsessed with that question.
What is normal?
Gale Reuben is a cultural anthropologist, best known as an activist and an influential theorist,
Of sex and gender politics. She's written on a range of
subjects, including feminism, sadomasochism, prostitution, and ***.
She introduced the idea of the charmed circle of human sexuality,
the idea that society places a higher value on certain sex acts,
what we typically think of as normal sex acts.
And what's outside that charmed circle?
All the stigmatized sex acts and *** identities
that society considered abnormal.
Now we're going to play Wheel of Sex.
'Is it normal that my girlfriend wants to start including a strap-on during
intercourse? Um, me. P.S. I'm a dude.'
Can or should a feminist have *** fantasies?
Should?
Can!
Nobody is normal. That is the secret to human sexuality.
We are all *** crazy freaks.
Reuben visualizes the *** hierarchy as a series of walls.
Whether it's coming from your church, your family, or strangers, everyone has
has an opinion on which side of the line a particular sex act should fall.
We need to knock down these barriers.
And we can.
Whatever you want to do, whatever turns you on so long as you're doing it
with someone who wants to do it with you, and so long as no one is getting hurt, it's
good. And we should see that as normal. That should be the norm.
That's charming and charmed human sexuality.
Send me your questions, your comments, your videos, and please
make sure to subscribe to TakePart TV so you'll get all my new
web episodes delivered directly into your inbox.
I'll get emails and I'll get calls from liberal Christians
whispering in my ear, 'We're not all like that. Psst! We're not all like that.'