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- We gotta get out of here. - Stay down.
- Ah!
- Stay with me, Val! Everything is gonna be okay!
- My time's up, Pal. I can hear the angels calling... - No, no, no, no...
- Listen, I want you to have something.
Go on some dates...
... take her bowling...
... share a gelato...
... be happy. - No.
No... no.
No!
NO, VAAAAAAAL!
- Listen, listen! BFG are cheap... excuse you... - Yeah, thank you.
- You could be super stealth, then some 13-year-old with a rocket launcher kills you with almost no effort.
- Even so, I reserve the right to kill a noob with a BFG. - Agreed.
- But it's this whole noob thing which drives me crazy. It's no fun... - I hate that one.
- Me too... - I hate it.
... and it's no fun playing against a homophobic, power-tripping preteen with a *** stache.
I'm sorry, but I can't stand their trash talk. - Well, maybe if you like the trash talk a little bit, you'd be able to take it.
- Yes! Trash talk for the win!
- Thank you guys for watching 3KB, and we'd like to thank Sexy Nerd Girl and friend joining us today...
.. hit that like button! Please subscribe!
- Hey, do you think they'd make a good match?
- They're both tall.
- You guys! We should go...
... paintballing!
(Lapomme party, proceed to the battle zone.)
- Who are we playing against?
- Us!
Prepare to make a bio in your pants, mother ***. We got the strat and the tactics...
and we are going to zerg your noobicorn ***. Because... we... are... the Pwners!
How do you want to die today? Necromancers? Assassins? Snipers? Bounty Hunters?
What is it going to be? We're gonna kill you ***. Dead.
- These guys are good. - Well, we don't have a team name...
We're here just to have fun. You know, get some fresh air, a little exercise, maybe some bruises...
... maybe we could be 'Team Super-fun'... the 'Funz-os', uh... what about 'Five Pals'?
I like 'Five Pals'. - I like 'Five Pals'.
- Wait a minute, you're Sexy Nerd Girl.
- Great... - Sexy, Sexy Nerd Girl...
- Uhm.... more like Sexy Nerd Woman. Hello there. - Hello. Hi.
- Who is this gentleman?
- And you. You get in my way of fapping to Sexy Nerd Girl.
- Charming.
- We're going to pwn your nooby ***.
Pwners F-T-W! Ha haaa....
Sing with me. Woot! Woot! Woot!
- Mike and Jay you take point. Kat and I are gonna take the rear.
Guy, you're in the ***.
- Why do I gotta be in the ***? - Let's go.
- Why do I gotte be in the ***?? (GAME ON!)
- Paintball sure is fun... - Seriously I should do this way more often...
- Would you date Guy?
- Huh? - I just saw the way you two teamed up when on your show.
- Well, he's kinda cute.
(Ouch, ouch. Ok, I'm hit!. I'm hit!)
- You should see what he's doing after. I'm sure he'd wanna hangout.
- Maybe, yeah. I'll think about it. - Totally fair.
How many is that? (Attention. Please stop shooting our employees.)
- Oh ***, oh ***, oh ***...
- He's a total killzor at paitnball too.
- Really? He seemed genuinely frightened by that 18-years-old man.
- He just does that so people think he's not good. I once saw him hit six different players,
with a single ball. He curved it. Saved his entire squad. Won 10 medals.
- Oh ***, oh ***, oh ***... oh ***... - Is that Guy?
He's just pretending to run away in terror? - Yeah, he's good.
- Run, white boy! Run for your rice! - Ok, that's racist.
- Ow, my shoulder blade. Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Ok, you guys. It's enough!
- Ok, you guys have two more players than us. You got bigger guns and body armor...
- And we pwn lot o' baby noobs!
- Anybody can pwn a noob. That's what make them noobs!
- Ok, Sexy Nerdy Girl. What do you propose?
- Ah! - Uhhh, I win. I pick.
The girl! I have a name.
- Not anymore you don't. You're with the Pwners for that one.
Your handle: The Girl.
Come on, come on here.
- Jay.
- Mjolnir.
- Mike.
- Dimes.
- Eagle.
- Masher.
- Tiny.
- Eh........... Vance.
- Why don't you take Guy?
- What? No!
- You see that longy mother-***?
I don't want him on my team. - Can I just talk to you for one second? Just get over here, yeah.
Ok, I know you're into this so macho thing or whatever but, I'm just trying to set up my two friends,
I think they would make a great couple. - What's in it for Peter Chao?
Alright, listen up everybody. We're changing the girl...
... for Sexy Nerd Girl.
And I'm gonna show you the true meaning of 'sexy', girlfriend.
Oh yeah! Let the pwnage begin!
Mjolnir, Vance, take down Guy. Masher, take down Guy.
Dimes, you cover Masher. Also, take down Guy.
- What the hell?
- Listen, sugartits, my job it's to pwn noobs. You have heard of a job people, right?
It's what a man to do to put food on the table.
- He didn't just say that, did he?
- You're with me, and I'm gonna show you how to really make a cold cut sandwich. Oh yeah!
Right, huh?
- He just gave me the tickler. And unsolicited *** fingering means war.
- Alright, this is the place. - Here?
- Way yes! Come on, we had a deal, sexy nerdy lady.
It's happening. It's finally happening. I'll never have to watch any of your videos again!
- I might be suspending a few of my principles. But I need to make sure that Guy and Kat were on the same team.
And besides, I'm not an idiot. I'm only showing one.
- OMG its like a giant pink grapefruit with a little water chesnut on top!
Frienemy!!!!!
- Boom. Dickshot.
- ... why do you do that? You don't do that to a man.
- Guy?
Kat?
- She's trying to draw us out.
- What should we do?
- Guy?
- Val, over here.
- Oh man, I totally TK'd the Pwners... Where's Guy?
- Where you least expect him.
- Behind barrels.
(Lapomme Party versus Pwners. Win goes to Lapomme Party.)
- Yeah, won! Yeah.
Hiding was such a good idea, Guy. - Deception is half the battle. Are you okay?
- Uh-huh. Just gonna lay here for a second and... I'll just me back to reception.
- You'll lay here on the grass? - Yeah.
- Ok, great game alright?
- Great game.
- Do you like gelato?
- Ye. - It's just an ice cream but said french.
- I thought it was italian.
- Getting ambushed by your best friends sucks pretty bad,
but I set up Guy and Kat, then it isn't that worth it?
- Teabag!
Balls in the face! Balls in the face! Balls.... - Stop it!
... in the face! Yeah!
- Hi everybody, this is Stephanie Kaliner, the Head Writter of Versus Valerie and Sexy Nerd Girl.
- Hi everybody! And thank you for watching Versus Valerie episode 6...
it was a really fun episode. - Uhm, super-fun.
- Yeah, a lot of really cool guest stars, like Peter Chao, for one, thank you so much for being on the show Peter.
- We had 3 KillaBytes (3KB), Mike, Kat and Jay that let us shoot on their side, what was super-fun.
- And now we also had a cameo. I don't know if you got it, but the voice of the announcer at the paintball
might have been the greatest wrestler in all of man kind?
Wow! Episode 6 already. - Can't believe it.
- That's half way through our season. - Time really flies!
- When you having fun!!!
- So if you haven't seen the first five episodes, go back, watch episodes 1 to 5
- Please leave comments, subscribe to the channel. - Yeah, make sure you're subscribed and if you...
... have a friend you think might be interested in Versus Valerie, show him the first episode.
Make them subscribe. - That's what a good friend does.
- A lot of you may not know this, but we are releasing the soundtrack to Versus Valerie.
So that's the plan: you can go and listen to all soundtracks that we've been released so far.
- Yeah, I like this one that's actually playing in the background right now.
By Adam WarRock! - Totally awesome.
- Yeah, so awesome. So if you go and listen to those on that playlist, there's a link you can even buy the tracks
on BandCamp and then it shall be yours. So Stephanie, can we give any spoilers to our audience for episode 7?
- Well, there is gonna be a teaser that's gonna come out on this channel next week, so...
- Great, teaser. But I know about the teaser, can you give me something else?
- Alright but I'll give you one little clue that it's just say: is going to be brain-eatingly awesome.
- Tim?