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>> KRISTINE: Hi, this is Kristine Oller! Welcome to the Actor’s Library How-They-Did-It Success
Story Newsletter. This issue features L.A. based actor Lara Ingraham who shares how she
booked a role on her dream show.
>> KRISTINE: This is a slightly different Actor’s Library Success Story, in just the
fact that I’m going to introduce why I wanted to talk to Lara Ingraham. She and I met about
an year ago. It’s now November 2012; we met in October 2011 when she joined the Actors
Mastermind Group that I lead. And we had a discussion, as I do with each new member,
about what they’re focused on, what their big dream is, and she articulated to me during
that discussion, she’s like, “I’m frustrated because I really feel that my talent is...
is up to par and I want to be on shows like Parks and Recreation.” You know, I felt
at the time like, “You look perfect! You look exactly like a person who would be cast
on Parks and Recreation. You have that energy, you obviously have the comedic timing, that’s
all good...” So the conversation turned more into, “Well what’s in the way of
that?” And what’s been very fascinating and joyful to watch over the past year is
how Lara has changed some things about her foundation, and put pieces of it more firmly
in place, and made these subtle shifts in her life, in areas that people wouldn’t
even think would impact her booking, but actually do impact it a lot. And often times, people
will come to me for career strategy advice: help me with my career, let’s get more momentum....
But the reason they don’t have the momentum is because of their stuck-ness in other areas
and knots that need to be untied in other areas. And usually the first place I look
at is the foundation, and the foundation is, you know, do you have a clear focus, is your
home office organized, are your finances organized and are you networking in a very effective
way. Those are the four pieces of a strong foundation that I wrote about in my book,
Feeding your Focus. And Lara has been just a living example of getting aligned in those
areas and then it’s interesting what the outcome was. But I will let her take the story
from here...
>> LARA: When I listened to your four pillars that you just mentioned, I feel like I...
I have focus in the area of shows that I wanted to be on and what my dream career would look
like, and I was networking more efficiently than I had done in the past, but I was on...
like a raft, on ocean waves, because I did not have an organized home office and my financial
foundation was shaky, to say the least. Something about our first meeting, and your approach
to really clarifying things and putting things in manageable steps, I think planted the seeds
and then meeting by meeting, I was able to just take small steps that have made a huge
change in my life. And the one that I think was so profound was, you had us having a little
friendly competition for big victories. And I remember, I had been wanting to get my home
office space, just the space itself, better, and new and improved and functional, for years,
and I’d had roommates and I’d had shared computers and I was finally in my own place.
So it had taken awhile. And that Thursday night before our Friday meeting, I go, “this
is it.” And I had... I had been putting things in place, but I hadn’t completed
this. And so I took a “before” picture, and then I finished it, the desk, just the
desk, and took an “after” picture and when I showed it to the group, jaws dropped.
The “before” picture: I had literally been working on the floor... sitting on the
floor of my apartment, surrounded by my quote unquote “office.” And I was kind of surprised,
that people were like, “oh my god, you poor thing,” like I had been in the Dark Ages.
And I was like, “well, I... I can...I can manage.” I was managing. Just managing.
But no, no, no. That time is over and I just felt like such a grown-up when I showed the
“after” picture. And every day when I sit at my desk... I could just sit there and
feel empowered. I don’t even have to be doing anything.
[Laughter]
>> KRISTINE: Yup! It’s about that feeling that you have now. And didn’t you, like,
go to Home Depot and how did you...?
>> LARA: Oh! Yeah! I mean... Once again, I had some of the ingredients; maybe it’s
a procrastination/perfectionist story, I don’t know, but I had two filing cabinets from Pottery
Barn that are, you know, the base of the desk, but I didn’t afford their $200 tabletop.
And so I measured and I went to a lumber shop, and I told them what I wanted and they cut
me a piece of lumber, and I came home and put it on top of the two filing cabinets and
then there was my desk.
[Laughter]
>> KRISTINE: Yeah...
>> LARA: And that is... it was like 36 bucks.
>> KRISTINE: I love that because the actual desk that I wrote my book on, was once going
across CalTech campus, where my dad worked, in a dumpster. And he was like, “hey, hey,
hey... that’s a good tabletop.” And so he brought it home and put legs on it, and
that was my desk. And I like that you... that that was one of the first projects that you
came back to the group and was like, “Tada! I did this.” And so, from having now a stable
place to do your business, then the next section of your life you went on to was financial.
>> LARA: Yes, because I could sit there and I could, you know, file things, and really
sit and look at things, and for whatever reason, I wasn’t scared anymore. You know, I wasn’t
putting things off, I had... I had been waiting for some help, you know, going after some
money that was owed to me, and I just felt empowered and I felt, well, hold on, I can
do this. It’s time... it’s time to clear out the cobwebs and so I literally, I think,
made a list and I just started blowing through the list.
>> KRISTINE: Mm hmm...
>> LARA: Of things I needed to check off, to do my part to try to get that money. And
I knew, even if I didn’t get the money, it was about me standing up for myself, and
going after what was owed me, because I had worked for it and I had earned it. The outcome
was I won...
[Laughter]
>> LARA: I won, I won, I did a lot of... I had guidance from my lawyer, but I did a lot
of the leg-work myself, and I went to court, shaking in my shoes and held my head high
and negotiated like a champ and got my money.
>> KRISTINE: And how did that make you feel?
>> LARA: Well, even bolder. That part of life for me, financial stuff, has been a little
hazy and a little like, “how can other people do it and I can’t, and I don’t know what
this is.” And it was just de-mystifying it and I... and I felt like, wow, if I can
do this, the stuff that I enjoy, you know, auditioning, talking to people, doing the
work, that’s like a walk in the park after dealing with this. And I’m still, I mean...
I’m doing some stuff this week. I’ve got a couple of larger fish to fry, financially,
that has been on the table before, or on the back-burner and I just... I don’t know,
I didn’t have the confidence, I didn’t feel ready and now, it’s clear and it’s
there and I’m gonna handle it.
>> KRISTINE: I love this, and it’s been such a privilege to have watched the arc of
this journey, for a year, with you, just because energetically you shifted as a person, for
sure. You always have brought a lot of light... I mean, from the very beginning you brought
a lot of light, you brought a lot of positivity to the group. It wasn’t that kind of a shift.
It was a more internal, “I am worth this.” It’s like you’re the same caliber of actress
that you were when we first met, but through these things you have stepped into ownership
of who you really are in this industry. And that’s been beautiful to watch.
>> LARA: And it’s... it’s so great to have that reflected back, because it is subtle,
and yet it’s profound. And it is a confidence, it’s a town about confidence and ownership,
and it was a bit vulnerable to show the group, yes, I’ve been working on my floor, in the
office. And this is me, this is my messy self. But there was also laughter in it, and then...
the pride that I felt in just my little simple desk, which is now working miracles in my
life.
>> KRISTINE: And how, may I ask, has having the group that meets once a month... How has
it been having that in this journey? Like, what part did that play in it?
>> LARA: Oh, huge! I think that these victories would have been possible and would have been
accomplished in a much longer time span... With much more angst. So the group has been
amazing. Without that accountability and that focus and those metrics, I would just be kind
of spinning.
>> KRISTINE: Yeah, there’s something about that energy and something about coming back
and telling your story to a group of people each month, that... that are following it,
and are rooting for you. And here’s what I love... here’s what I loved because, what
was interesting is, you know, you started on this journey of... of, you know, applying
yourself to these areas of your life and you would come back every month and when we went
around and shared victories or talked about issues and things, your content was always
about the organizing, or the finances... and some acting stuff thrown in, but I was literally
sitting there through your going, “oh, you people, just wait.” Because you know, other
people would be reporting on their acting stuff and I’m like, “just wait, just wait.”
>> LARA: Right...
[Laughter]
>> KRISTINE: She is doing such profound, fundamental stuff that there is going to be, there’s
going to be a shift and because of that shift, there’s going to be something freaking awesome.
And I knew it, and I was so excited. You know there’s 44 members in my two Actors Mastermind
Groups and you had one of the major bookings this year.
>> LARA: Yes! Parks and Recreation, ladies and gentlemen!
[Laughter]
>> KRISTINE: The very show that she was like, “I’m perfect for Parks and Recreation.
Why am I not on Parks and Recreation?” I mean it was a pretty emotional meeting we
had that one time; you were really like frustrated and just...
>> LARA: I was frustrated!
>> KRISTINE: I know, because you knew you could do it; which you could! You had this
great scene with Aziz Ansari and nailed it, killed it, it was great. But what I felt with
you was that, if we didn’t acknowledge - and I can only say it to you, you’re the one
who has to acknowledge it as, “oh... ok, this feels right” - but it was time to acknowledge
that there were other aspects of your life that needed to be worked on, a little bit,
it wasn’t major, it was like little shifts that needed to happen. And the reason that
was so important for you right then is because if we didn’t acknowledge that, then what
happens is you keep going through life thinking there’s something wrong with you or your
talent, or your skill-set, that’s not getting you the work.
>> LARA: Mm hmm.
>> KRISTINE: And that’s what erodes the confidence. So, that’s why I was like, “oh
man, I hope she does this, because that’s what’s holding her back. And if she doesn’t
acknowledge that, she’s going to keep thinking it; something about her and her gifts.”
And our gifts are usually not damaged in the way that we think: “Oh, they’re not good
enough!” It’s like, no, they fine! You just got to take care of this stuff over here.
[Laughter]
>> LARA: It’s so true... It’s so true and that would... that would have just been
a slippery slope and a downward shame spiral, which would have gotten me nowhere... And
yeah. And then, of course there’s people on this town that, you know, prey upon actors,
feeling that it’s just their work and their craft and so they put all their focus and
all their life savings...
[Laughter]
>> KRISTINE: Yup...
>> LARA: In acting classes and... not that acting classes in a balanced fashion aren’t
helpful. But no! You have to look at the whole person, the whole picture and the whole life.
You know, I’m just glad that you could mirror that for me and be there to support me. You,
yourself, and AMG, the group, while I did that, you know kind of scary, you know, step-by-step
thing...
>> KRISTINE: Oh Lara... thank you so much for sharing this with everybody. That was
fabulous!
>> LARA: Well, thank you!
>> KRISTINE: And that's just one more example that you can bet on yourself and win. If you
need to get on The Actor's Library newsletter list, you can do so at TheActorsLibrary.com.