Phyllis diller
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
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