Mark twain

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

All generalizations are false, including this one.