Carol burnett

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins.

I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28...

I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.

We don't stop going to school when we graduate.

Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.