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Lewis: Ok, so are you ready for my five facts then?
Lisa: Go on, enlighten me. Lewis: Ok, the first fact.
Lewis: Right, let's just be honest here. If any of these facts actually interest you, you've got to say. Ok?
Lisa: Ok. Lewis: Because you have no interest in history whatsoever do you?
Lisa: Nooo! Lewis: Ok, well here we go, ok? First fact...
Lewis: Honey doesn't spoil.
Lisa: I don't know what that means.
Lewis: You know, like food. Honey, it doesn't spoil.
Lisa: It doesn't go off? Lewis: It doesn't go off, no.
Lisa: It will go off. It will. Lewis: It doesn't. Because honey found in tombs
of ancient Egyptian Pharaohs, was tasted by archaeologists and found edible.
Lewis: And also, Roman women used honey as contraception.
Lisa: What?
Lewis: Sweet, isn't it? Anyway, fact number two!
Lisa: Well do you not want to go into more depth about the contraception.
How, where, what did they actually do with the honey?
Lewis: You want me to go into this?
Lisa: Yeah, I want to know what they do with the honey.
Lewis: Let's put it this way. Honey, when left out, will go solid.
Lewis: Right, that's enough, I'm not going into this. That's enough of that. Lisa: That's disgusting!
Lewis: Ok, Dr Pepper was the first fizzy drink invented that's still in production today.
Lewis: Invented in 1885, it beat Coca Cola by one year.
And, Coca Cola wasn't the first cola flavoured drink.
The first cola flavoured drink was invented in 1881, five years before Coca Cola.
Lewis: So they stole it. Lisa: I'm just like dead confused over that.
Lewis: Right, Dr Pepper was the first fizzy drink that we have today.
Lewis: Coca Cola was the second.
Lewis: But Coca Cola wasn't the first cola flavoured drink.
Lisa: I don't get it, so what was the flavoured drink then?
Lewis: Right, cola is a flavoured drink. You can get Cola from Aldi or whatever
Lewis: Aldi's own, can't you? Lisa: Oh yeah.
Lewis: Or Sainsbury's own cola, yeah?
Lewis: Well, Coca Cola wasn't the first cola.
Lewis: Other colas existed before then. Lisa: Oh right I get it oh, right ok, yeah.
Lisa: Like Rola Cola.
Lewis: What's that? Lisa: I don't know I think I might have just made it up.
Lewis: "Rola Cola" Lisa: I though... I think that is actually a really cheap brand of pop.
Lewis: Rola Cola down a hill Lisa: Rola Cola, I'm sure it is, I could have lied, I think I did make that up.
Lewis: Ok, I'm gonna have to explain this one in more simple terms clearly.
Lewis: Ok, fact number 3. Austria-Hungary...
Lisa: Whaaaat? Lewis:...which is a country!
Lewis: Right, a country called Austria-Hungary...
Lewis: founded its airforce (which is planes) in 1893.
Lewis: Ok? The first plane was invented in 1903, ten years later.
Lisa: Say it again. I duh I duh Lewis: Right....
Lewis: In 1893, they invented/made their own airforce. In 1893.
Lisa: 1893 - yeah. Lewis: But the first plane was invented in 1903.
Lewis: ten years later. Lisa: What's the point in that? Lewis: Exactly. But that's a fact.
Lewis: Fact number 4, and this is an historical fact.
Lewis: E.T. the Extraterrestrial ... game. Lisa: Who?
Lewis: It was a game. Made for the Atari.
Lewis: Is often cited as the worst computer game of all time.
Lewis: It was so bad, millions of copies were buried in a desert,
Lewis: and many cite it as the catalyst for the crash of the video game industry in 1983.
Lewis: So it actually caused an economic recession.
Lisa: They buried a load of games? Lewis: They buried millions of copies of a game in the desert.
Lisa: Why? Lewis: Because it was a complete failure and it caused an economic recession.
Lewis: that's how bad the game was, do you want to play it?
Lisa: That's just gay. I don't understand why you would bury a game.
Lewis: Well, there were that many copies of the game sent back to the manufacturer because it was that bad.
Lewis: And fact number 5, the one you love which we mentioned before.
Lewis: World War One. Lisa: Sighs
Lewis: In World War One, British spies used *** as invisible ink.
Lisa: See, that's just wrong. Lewis: It's not!
Lisa: Yeah it is. Do you know how disgusting that is. People are actually touching people's....!
Lisa: It's just wrong. Lewis: It's a fact!
Lisa: Hang on a minute - invisible ink anyway?!
Lisa: I don't understand - what's the point of invisible ink?
Lewis: British spies... Invisible ink...
Lisa: Is that the one... oh?
Lewis: Invisible - do you know what invisible means?
Lewis: You know what ink is - from a pen.
Lisa: Well what's the point - how do you see it!?!?!
Lisa: I don't get it.
Lisa: I don't understand it.
lisa: I really don't - I don't understand.
Lisa: Alright, whatever then. Don't tell me then.