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You know who I hate? Underground rappers. I hate the excuse they give. That's what I
hate. Because they're like, "I'm too hardcore for mainstream." Too hardcore for mainstream
rap?! Mainstream rap. 20 years ago, NWA was saying, "*** the police!" had police scared
for their life in LA. Wu-Tang Clan was saying, "Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothin' to *** with."
They didn't even bother with rhyming. They just told you what they were going to do to
you if you *** with them. "You wanna get your teeth knocked the *** out?!" I'm like,
"***! ... These guys are ***. I'm going underground. Too soft for me."
You know who else I hate? 50 Cent. Yeah, yes! Anyone whose been shot 9 times needs to take
a hint. I get the idea after 1 shot. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, "Oh! I see what
you're saying! I will just go. I'm out of here."
Even if 50 Cent were to show up here... I wouldn't say ***. I'd be star-struck as hell.
I'd be like "Fitty!" The fact that I'd be star-struck would be no credit to him. I get
star-struck easily as hell. I get star-struck by local celebrities. I'm like, "Is that the
Channel 12 meteorologist?! Maybe I can get his autograph!" I'm simple like that...
Another rapper I hate... Soulja Boi. Look up his lyrics online. Just read them.
You'll think you're reading nursery rhymes. "Soulja boi is so legit, you poopie head,
you smell like ***." I'm like, "Sit your kindergartner *** down! Do some finger paintings
or something you MIGHT be good at." Because the dude can't spell soldier. There's no "U"
in soldier. Not even a "YOUUUU." It's not in there! Go back to school! Try to get some
B's on that ***. Hate him... I also don't like DJ Khaled. Does anybody
know who that is? That's the guy in all the songs, "We the best! Who? We!" That guy! Not
particularly fond of him. I feel like every song he's in is just one long intro to a song,
"We the best. Who? We! Let's get this started. Right now. Let's do this!" Dude! The song's
over! You never got to it! I saw him on MTV Cribz. Did you know he actually talks like
that in real life? Yeah! He's like over by his pool. He's like, "We got the best water!
From where? Jamaica!" The camera man can hear you. You don't need to shout, okay? Indoor
voices. We learned that as a child. Thank you, DJ Khaled.
I'll tell you some rappers I do like. I do like Lil' Wayne. I'm a Lil' Wayne fan. I noticed
a pattern to all of his songs. Every song seems to be rhyme, rhyme, cheesy *** joke.
Just all of them. I'll give you an example. Bear with me as I do a Lil' Wayne impression,
okay? Lil' Wayne needs a cough drop! You know, for
that Wheezy *** voice. I asked for Ricola! She asked if I was 18
or older. 18 inches is what I told her. Haaaaa! He actually makes jokes like that in his songs.
That is not a stretch of the truth. I'm like, "did this dude really just say he almost has
a 2 foot ***?" The dude ain't but 5'5. *** would be dangling down by his ankles. Could
wrap it around him like a belt. Just not natural. Maybe a little exaggerated. Just a little
bit.