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Ladies and Gentlemen, I have news from America.
Something is going on at Rutgers University.
You will recognize Rutgers as the State University of New Jersey.
It is located here, near what you know as MTV's The Jersey Shore.
Good. Maybe I can finally get to make my guest appearance on the show
or at least get MTV to bring the Real World to Berlin.
Mein Fuhrer...
the news isn't about MTV.
A new Facebook page called RutgersMemes has been created.
It allows anyone to post memes.
Everyone who recently deactivated their Facebook accounts
because they hate Timeline leave the room.
Anyone can post to Rutgers Memes?!
What kind of monster has arisen?
Newbs won't understand how memes work.
The clumsy oafs will make a slew of godforsaken deformed memes!
They'll just throw any old phrase onto any picture.
Y U No stop them?
Have any of these nincompoops ever even heard of 4chan?
Have they seen anything except those infuriating (but cute) lolcats!
Yes, you can haz cheezburger, but not everyone can haz meme-making skillz!
Mein Fuhrer, it's giving the students a sense of community.
It's giving the dullwitted a platform! There's a logic here, people!
Mein Fuhrer, you need to give everyone a chance to realize their potential.
*** potential! These kids should get inspired by Stan the bus driver, but keep it limited to their schoolwork.
Follow your dreams, not your memes!
Suddenly Boromir will be able to simply walk anywhere, Insanity Wolf will just be kinda mean,
and the Most Interesting Man in the World will just be mildly amusing.
They'll say the same *** for Good Guy Greg that they do for Scumbag Steve.
God forbid anyone try to do Xhibit's Yo Dawg.
It just goes on and on.
I wouldn't be surprised if some tiny Khancer makes a Tyler Clementi meme within 24 hours,
forcing the admins to shut down the page.
I don't want to look at some racist *** vent about Asians or
some ***'s idea of a joke because
he made one of his *** roommates giggle.
A swarm of overconfident suburbanites who think their every *** is special because their parents said so.
I can see them now chattering on their phones about their latest dump:
"Did you see my cute penguin meemee?"
It's either Awkward or Awesome, not cute!
Don't they know I've been making memes since
I rickrolled that quisling, Quisling?!
And they? They're too busy getting ratio and stuffing their faces
with Fat sandwiches to learn a basic image macro?
I see a world where Philosoraptor becomes the Barney of memes,
and it terrifies me!
Don't worry. The admins are filtering and there's a new website just for rutgersmemes.
The real meme makers will get lost in the avalanche of mediocrity.
While halfwits keep liking the same meme about a crowded bus.
We will be forced to slog through a hundred failed Foul Bachelor Frogs
just to get one decent Success Kid.
Even I don't know how I'll react.
Maybe I'll just have to learn to laugh at each redundant meme
about waking up late to class.
Or maybe I'll be Forever Alone.