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and you guys have to stop making me blind or I'm gonna fall off the stage here like
Bob Dole thank you
do you know how many copies of Photoshop Adobe ships every month?
bazillion!
it's really hard to demo when your CEO is making faces on stage
the back at this thing looks better than the front of the other guys by the way
and these things are uuugly
and the winner of the first PowerBook is
oho... Steve Jobs ... no
there I am hello mom!
a company called Skaler has brought a USB microscope out for the Mac
it is phenomenal it looks like something else but it's really a microscope
and I have not had a chance to bring one of these home and play with it with my kids
here's a third happy new year
now
these things make me slightly embarrassed to be a human we could do better than this
the new Power Mac G4s have the power to burn
CDs, DVDs, oh yeah
and Pentiums too
so we're gonna put a flat display on the front who needs the back?
there it is the new iMac ladies and gentlemen
and we've built in a technology in the Mac OS X Mail
called adaptive latent semantic analysis
now what is this? I don't know but it works
and basically
we hired, we hired a low paid beta tester
to beta test this App for an entire year
and here he is, in the process
and this feature a lot of people thought we would never add
until this happened...
I click on this and I get a chance to pretty myself up
and before I accept it - I accepted here
Hi Al
I mean when I started in this business one of the biggest challenges was
people couldn't type
you know and and one day we realized death would eventually take care of this
and... so...
we're introducing a revolutionary new product for your iPod
socks
they're really cool actually
you put your iPod in them and huh like that
they keep your iPod warm on cold days
they protect it and they give you a little more personality
I got one right here in my pocket
it's not that I'm just happy to see you and [haha] that's it
Longhorn
and that's the days until Longhorn it counts them down
but this is what they're up too
have something to tell you today
Mac OS X has been leading a secret double life
for the past five years
I've got a little bug here
alright
well that's why we have backup systems here
lets see what stocks are going well we're down a little bit today
well we still have a lot to go in the keynote don't we?
I'm gonna pick bulge here
a light tunnel is really great when you want to play God here
and... so....
I think we're gonna just waste an awful lot of productivity here
I don't know that there's ever been a slide that captures what
Apple's about as much as this one
and who owns ABC?
Disney ... I know these guys
how are you?
well thank you for asking huh ... well ...
I'm vertical
when it scrolls like butter
so up to 250,000 photos... scrolls like butter wait a minute
hi I'm Steve and welcome to my weekly podcast
super-secret Apple rumors featuring the hottest rumors about our favorite
company
I have some pretty good sources inside Apple and this is what I'm hearing
the next iPod will be huge an eight pounder with a 10-inch screen
and I wanted to just highlights a one of the new places you can use your
iPod
Gil was a nice guy but has a saying he said
Apple is like a ship with a hole in the bottom
leaking water and my job is to get the ship
pointed in the right direction
[laugh]
We've got cards and letters from lots of people that say that iTunes is
their favorite app on Windows
it's like giving a glass of ice water to somebody in hell
[big laugh]
quoted recently as saying if he didn't work for Microsoft he would buy a Mac
and he's retiring soon so I've alerted our Seattle stores to keep an eye out for him
today Apple is going to reinvent the phone
and here it is
we're gonna use a stylus no, who wants a stylus?
Hi Steve it's Tim I've got the results for last quarter
revenue was... you know I'll just wait until I see you again
good luck on the keynote see you there
good morning this is StarBuck how can I help you
yes I'd like to order four thousand lattes to go please
not just kidding... wrong number... thank you... bye-bye
the clicker is not working
alright they're scrambling backstage right now
that's when NBC calls
I just wanted to mention this [the reports of my death are greatly exaggerated]
thousands of accessories
for ipod it's an incredibly thriving ecosystem
they announce product even before we want them to
it is magical I know it because I got this email I was sitting in a cafe with my iPad
and it got a girl interested in me
you'll be able to buy this right on your phone for four dollars and ninety nine cents
if we approve it
you know you could help me out if you're on wifi
if you could just get off
two hundred apps every second... whoof!
there's another two hundred
I mean we never saw ourselves in a platform war with Microsoft
maybe that's why we lost
it's got buying stolen property it's got extortion I'm sure their sex in there somewhere
my sex life is pretty good
how's yours? it's great thanks for asking it's great
don't ask
why should I believe them? they're the ones that brought me
you need to tell me where the
restroom is too cuz I'm deathly ill actually in ready threw up in a moment so
it's right across the hall
I'm not joking