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Get it? ‘Cuz it’s a pun on Elevator Action, and it’s got Yomiko Readman in it. And no,
this isn’t an officially licensed product in any way, shape, or form. This is a doujin
game of the highest chapter - I mean, caliber - released in 2005, back when freakin’ awesome
anime like Read or Die could get a fair shake. (Without having to pander and be “I Can’t
Believe My Little Sister Hates Books And Is Actually A Secret Agent!”) The legality
of this production is a little bit suspect, but for small-time doujinshi producers, the
rightsholders tend to overlook any infringement in the interest of favorable word-of-mouth
and potentially increased sales as a result. And so, we have a side-scrolling beat-’em-up,
featuring everyone’s favorite kamitsukai, Yomiko, Anita, Maggie, and Michelle.
If you’re not familiar with the Read or Die series, it involves paper, cloning, paper,
international espionage, Beethoven, paper, and a bit of steampunk thrown in just for
kicks. Despite all of the crazy action that goes on in the series - like piloting a paper
airplane through New York City to chase down German aviation pioneer Otto von Lilienthal
- there’s never been a video game adaptation of these literary antics. And so, EasyGameStation
- yes, the same firm that would later go on to create cult economics hit Recettear - took
it upon themselves to create an action-packed interpretation of the kind of madness that
pervades the series. You can play as either Yomiko or the Paper Sisters, where Anita takes
point and covers close combat while Maggie and Michelle hang back and can be activated
to fire paper arrows or make paper bats or shields. As Yomiko acts alone, she only has
one special attack available at a time, though her full repertoire is actually more diverse
than all of the Sisters combined. But paper ain’t easy to find... despite the fact that
they appear to be fighting through Jinbou-cho, the legendary bookstore district of Tokyo,
where you’d think it’d be easier to come across. Nope, to get more paper for your attacks
you need to beat it out of surveillance robots, sentry robots, attack robots... hey, wait,
what’s Shinichi Mechazawa doing here? This is no place for ordinary high school students,
even those with really wide faces!
In typical doujin-game style, it’s... well, no surprise, it’s freakin’ brutal. (Guess
all those Touhou games set the bar high.) You’re going to have to make use of your
shields early and often just to keep going (perhaps this is why Yomiko has hers aliased
to a downward double-tap). Fortunately, there’s a practice-slash-time trial mode for getting
up to speed, and continues are allowed. As this isn’t a commercial release, you might
have to be a bit inventive in tracking down a copy. Might have to check that extra-secret
gaming haven in the sewers. You know, the one protected by the giant missile-launching
cat.