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My name's Justin.
I was in the Army National Guard for seven years.
Got out as an E5 Sergeant and did two tours, one to Bosnia,
one to Iraq.
We were patrolling one day in our Bradleys and
I was in the gun.
And our driver--
we were going down a dirt road and we hit an IED, and he
ended up losing his foot because of that.
So that happened, which kind of really shook you up a
little bit.
Next patrol I went out on, we hit another one.
So that just kind of this all just came in at one time.
But then after that had happened, probably one of the
most significant was one of my really good friends was--
they were out patrolling and they hit a large IED and two
of them were killed.
And they were both in the same Humvee, and one of my friends
lost his legs.
I was on the base, and they were probably maybe a mile or
two off base.
And I listened to the whole thing unfolding on the radio.
I actually ran over to my squad leader and just said,
all right, we've got to go.
Some stuff went down.
We've got to get out there and help them out.
But then I think it was a couple days where you don't
really process it all.
Every waking moment's just like a reoccurring nightmare
or like you're just living it.
And it's bad enough losing a really good friend, but
knowing that the next day you've got to go out to that
same area, that same spot and just do your job.
Coming back was--
it was great, just because I was engaged at the
time, so all that.
But I just know there was a big difference in
how I viewed people.
And I just didn't give people the time of day as much.
I didn't tolerate a whole lot.
I just had kind of a tainted view on a life in general.
I just was angry.
There was an edge to me.
I'll say that.
And then another huge adjustment was when you go
from being America's hero and like really doing something
that you felt really mattered, to going to college classes
and then getting a job, that was a huge, huge adjustment.
I still had a lot of trouble sleeping,
and still do at times.
Just falling asleep, my mind constantly going, just kind of
feeling that tense on-edge feeling.
Loud doors being slammed shut, things fall, I mean, just very
on edge, startled very, very easily.
There were several discussions, I'll call them,
arguments, with my wife that kind of led me to think
there's probably a little bit more than I'd
like to admit here.
It was kind of a long process, a painful process, of actually
getting to that point where--
OK, I've got to man up and own some of this stuff and realize
that there's something wrong here.
So what I ended up doing was I contacted my county Veterans
service officer and just said, who do I need to
see to get set up?
And he connected me with someone at the VA.
It was really tough to admit that there was things wrong,
but once I finally went in, it definitely started getting me
down that road of just being able to cope with life better.
I did a lot of the mental health stuff that they had,
and I did an occupational therapy type stuff.
Because I'd had some--
whether it was related or not, but just some memory loss.
Just like I couldn't remember stupid things, like my
organizational skills.
I was in school at the time, and going to class and not
being able to concentrate, focus, remember things.
And then it was just kind of a nasty, vicious cycle, because
all that stuff would come up, and then I'd just get more
frustrated, more tense.
They diagnosed me with TBI, so I did a lot of just different
mental exercises, and they did a lot of
assessments and stuff.
I talked to a psychologist. And the guy I was meeting with
was, like, you know what, you're not alone in all this.
There's a lot of guys coming back with almost like rubber
stamp type issues.
To be able to take that first step of just reaching out to
someone at the VA, that was one of my biggest helps being
back and transitioning.
And just being able to understand a lot of these
things and understand that you're not alone in
them is a huge help.
And people, they're there to help and
they're willing to help.
You've just got to be willing to get that help.