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FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, AMERICANS,
I'VE GOT NOTHING AGAINST CULINARY GLOBALIZATION.
HECK, I'M DOWN WITH PAD THAI AND GOULASH
AND EVEN THE OCCASIONAL BOWL OF VICHYSSOISE,
BUT GOSH DANG IT,
I AM SICK OF SEEING FAMILIES
TOSS ASIDE THE CLASSIC DISHES
LIKE THE ONES SO LOVINGLY ASSEMBLED
IN THIS HOMEMADE COLLECTION,
IN ORDER TO MAKE MORE ROOM
ON THEIR SHELVES AND ON THEIR TABLES
FOR RIDICULOUS PAN-ASIAN, SUB-SAHARAN,
DANISH FUSION CUISINE.
AMERICA, WE HAVE GOT TO GET BACK TO OUR ROOTS.
TO THAT END, WE HAVE WRITTEN THE NAMES
OF HUNDREDS OF THREATENED OR ENDANGERED AMERICAN CLASSICS
ONTO THE CARDS
INSIDE THIS SPINNING LOTTERY CAGE.
AND WE WILL CHOOSE ONE
ON WHICH TO CONCENTRATE OUR ATTENTION
OVER THE NEXT HALF-HOUR.
AHH, AND...
THE "GOOD EATS" TREATMENT GOES TO...
(cheers and applause)
AND WHY NOT? I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING
THAT'S MORE AMERICAN THAN--
OH, HEY, MOM. LOOK, I CAN'T PLAY BASEBALL WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.
I'M WORKIN'. BUT I'LL SEE YOU BACK AT HOME.
WE'LL HAVE A REAL GOOD TIME THEN.
WE'LL...
JOIN US, WON'T YOU?
BECAUSE APPLE PIE'S NOT JUST PATRIOTIC, IT'S...
♪♪
WELL, AMERICA, IF YOU'RE A LOYAL FAN OF THIS PROGRAM,
YOU KNOW THAT WE'VE DABBLED ABOUT WITH APPLES IN THE PAST.
WHO CAN FORGET OUR BOURBON-LACED MICROWAVE APPLESAUCE?
AND ON AT LEAST TWO OCCASIONS,
PIECRUST HAS BEEN THE FOCUS.
BUT IF WE'RE TO SET THINGS RIGHT WITH OUR NATIONAL DESSERT,
WE NEED TO INVESTIGATE BOTH OF THESE SUBJECTS ANEW
WITH THE MANUFACTURE OF AN HONEST AND TRUE APPLE PIE
AS OUR SINGULAR GOAL.
CONSTRUCTING A GOOD PIECRUST
IS A BALANCING ACT, OKAY?
NOW ON ONE SIDE OF THE EQUATION
WE HAVE THE, UH--WELL, THE STRUCTURAL MEMBERS,
THE STRENGTHENERS, LIKE THE PROTEIN AND STARCH
AND FLOUR AND WATER,
WHICH HELP THOSE ELEMENTS COME TOGETHER
INTO A KIND OF, WELL, CULINARY CONCRETE.
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE EQUATION,
WE HAVE THE WEAKENERS, THE TENDERIZERS,
SUCH AS FATS, BUTTER, LARD AND SHORTENING
AND, OF COURSE, SUGAR.
NOW HOW WE PLAY ONE SIDE OF THE EQUATION
AGAINST THE OTHER
WILL DETERMINE THE KIND OF CRUST THAT WE HAVE.
NOW FOR SOMETHING LIKE A CREAM PIE,
UM, WE MIGHT WANT A MORE TENDER CRUST.
BUT FOR SOMETHING LIKE APPLE PIE,
WE NEED A LITTLE MORE STRUCTURE.
SO WE'RE GONNA GO THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
GOOD. NOW, LET'S BUILD.
WE BEGIN BY WEIGHING OUT 12 OUNCES OF ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR
AND DUMPING THAT
INTO YOUR FAVORITE FOOD PROCESSOR.
WE WILL FOLLOW THAT
WITH 1 TEASPOON OF STANDARD TABLE SALT.
NOW I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY SURPRISED
TO NOT HEAR ME, YOU KNOW, USING KOSHER SALT,
BUT IT'S JUST TOO BIG AND CRUNCHY
FOR THIS APPLICATION.
NEXT WE WILL GO WITH 3 TEASPOONS
OF REGULAR GRANULATED SUGAR.
AND OF COURSE, 3 TEASPOONS IS 1 TABLESPOON.
VERY GOOD. I KNEW YOU'D GET THAT.
NOW JUST SLAP ON THE LID
AND SPIN IT FOR JUST A FEW SECONDS
TO BRING THE MIXTURE TOGETHER.
THERE, THAT SHOULD DO IT.
NOW WE BRING THE FAT TO THE PARTY,
STARTING WITH 6 OUNCES OF CHILLED, UNSALTED BUTTER
CUT INTO ABOUT 1/2-INCH PIECES.
JUST PULSE THAT FIVE OR SIX TIMES
UNTIL THE TEXTURE JUST BEGINS TO LOOK KIND OF MEALY.
THAT LOOKS GOOD.
NOW WE BRING 2 OUNCES OF CHILLED VEGETABLE SHORTENING
TO THE BOWL-- SMALL CHUNKS, PLEASE.
PULSE ANOTHER THREE TO FOUR TIMES,
OR JUST UNTIL INCORPORATED.
SINCE THEY HAVE DIFFERENT MELTING POINTS,
THE BUTTER AND THE SHORTENING WILL WORK TOGETHER
TO CREATE A BETTER TEXTURE.
NOW ONCE THAT'S IN, WE'RE GONNA NEED A LIQUID--
NOT MUCH, BUT ENOUGH TO HYDRATE THE FLOUR
AND ACTIVATE A BIT OF GLUTEN.
UH, LET'S SEE, BESIDES APPLE JUICE
OR EVEN APPLE CIDER, WE COULD USE WATER.
BUT WHY BOTHER WHEN WE'VE GOT-- AH, LET'S SEE...
AH, APPLEJACK!
IF APPLE PIE IS THE MOST AMERICAN OF DESSERTS,
THAN THIS IS THE MOST AMERICAN
OF ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES.
YOU CAN KEEP YOUR FRENCH CALVADOS.
THIS APPLE BRANDY, DISTILLED FROM HARD CIDER,
IS WHAT AMERICA DRANK
BEFORE THERE WAS A BOURBON INDUSTRY.
GEORGE WASHINGTON TURNED HIS APPLES INTO THIS STUFF,
AND ABRAHAM LINCOLN SERVED IT
AT THE TAVERN THAT HE USED TO RUN IN SPRINGFIELD, ILLINOIS.
ALTHOUGH APPLEJACK USED TO RUN
ANYWHERE FROM 50 TO A WHOPPING 120 PROOF,
THESE DAYS IT'S KEPT TO 70% ALCOHOL BY LAW,
AND IT'S AGED IN WOOD FOR AT LEAST ONE YEAR.
AND YES, I'M PUTTING IT IN THE PIE.
I'M PUTTING IT IN THE PIE TO THE TUNE OF 5 TABLESPOONS,
RIGHT ON TOP.
AND THEN JUST PULSE
UNTIL IT COMES TOGETHER INTO KIND OF BIG HUNKS--
YEAH, LIKE THAT.
THERE--THAT'S WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.
NOW I KNOW YOU-- I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
YOU'RE THINKING THAT'S TOO MUCH LIQUID,
THAT IT'S GONNA WHIP UP WITH ALL THAT FLOUR
TO CREATE TOO MUCH GLUTEN AND, THEREFORE, A HARD CRUST.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE GOT TO SAY TO THAT? UNH-UNH!
SEE, APPLEJACK CONTAINS A LOT OF ETHYL ALCOHOL,
AND ALCOHOL WON'T COMBINE WITH WHEAT PROTEINS
TO MAKE GLUTEN THE WAY THAT WATER DOES.
DON'T BELIEVE ME?
LET'S DO A LITTLE EXPERIMENT, SHALL WE?
IN GO THE FLUIDS,
SEE? WATER AND WHEAT FLOUR--
BIG GLUTENY, GLUEY MESS.
ETHYL ALCOHOL AND FLOUR-- NOT SO MUCH.
THE ALCOHOL, THOUGH, WON'T MAKE GLUTEN,
BUT IT WILL HYDRATE THE FLOUR GRANULES,
MAKING THE RESULTING DOUGH A LOT EASIER TO HANDLE.
SO YOU GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS--
A DOUGH YOU CAN WORK WITH WITHOUT TOO MUCH OF THIS,
AND, OF COURSE, YOU GET THE ADDED APPLE FLAVOR.
NOW SINCE ALCOHOL BOILS
AT, UM, 172.4 FAHRENHEIT,
MOST OF THE ALCOHOL WILL COOK OUT
DURING THE BAKING PROCESS.
DIVIDE THE DOUGH IN HALF BY WEIGHT.
SHAPE EACH HALF INTO A DISK, WRAP IN PLASTIC WRAP
AND CHILL FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR
AND UP TO OVERNIGHT.
THAT WILL GIVE THE FAT TIME TO RESOLIDIFY
AND THE FLOUR TIME TO SOAK UP
ALL THAT LOVELY APPLEJACK.
TECHNICALLY SPEAKING,
THE ONLY NATIVE AMERICAN APPLE IS THIS ONE--
THE CRAB APPLE,
A SMALL, BITTER, DISTANT RELATIVE OF THE FRUIT
THAT NOW DOMINATES GROCERY STORE PRODUCE AISLES,
WHICH MOST BOTANICAL HISTORIANS AGREE,
CAME TO BEING IN ONE OF THE "STANS,"
MOST LIKELY KAZAKHSTAN.
SO HOW IS IT, THEN, THAT THE AMERICAN LANDSCAPE,
FROM WASHINGTON STATE TO NEW YORK,
PENNSYLVANIA TO GEORGIA,
IS SO STREWN WITH DIFFERENT TYPES OF APPLES?
HOWDY.
YES, JOHN CHAPMAN, OR "JOHNNY APPLESEED,"
REALLY DID EXIST.
HE REALLY DID PLANT AN AWFUL LOT OF APPLE TREES
AROUND OHIO, ILLINOIS AND INDIANA.
AND HE REALLY DID WEAR A POT ON HIS HEAD.
ANYWAY, THE REASON
THERE ARE SO MANY APPLES IN THE REST OF THE COUNTRY
IS THAT A LOT OF IMMIGRANTS FROM THE OLD WORLD
CAME HERE WITH APPLE SEEDS IN THEIR POCKETS.
AND THEY PLANTED THOSE SEEDS, AND EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM
CREATED A NEW, DIFFERENT VARIETY OF APPLE.
APPLES ARE KIND OF LIKE HUMANS THAT WAY.
ANYWAY, THERE'S UNFORTUNATELY NOT A PERFECT APPLE-PIE APPLE.
IT'S JUST NOT A SOLO PART.
TO DO THE PIE JUSTICE, YOU REALLY NEED AT LEAST A QUARTET.
NOW IF APPLES ARE GROWN,
YOU KNOW, LOCALLY, WHERE YOU LIVE,
I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU SEEK OUT AND TRY
AS MANY COMBINATIONS OF THOSE APPLES
AS YOU REALISTICALLY CAN.
OTHERWISE, YOU MAY USE THIS LIST,
WHICH I FEEL DOES AS GOOD OF A JOB AS CAN BE DONE
BY NATIONALLY AVAILABLE VARIETIES.
HERE'S WHAT I GO WITH--
FOR TANG, THE GRANNY SMITH APPLE...
FOR SWEETNESS, THE HONEYCRISP APPLE...
FOR ITS TEXTURE, THE GOLDEN DELICIOUS...
AND FOR ITS, WELL, BEING DIFFERENT, THE BRAEBURN.
OH, AND FOR ONE PIE, YOU'RE GONNA NEED
3 TO 3 1/2 POUNDS OF APPLES,
EVENLY DIVIDED BETWEEN THESE VARIETIES.
EXCUSE ME.
IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE PIE RIGHT AWAY,
STORE YOUR APPLES IN A PLASTIC BAG IN THE FRIDGE.
AS LONG AS YOU KEEP THEM COLD, THEY'LL STAY FRESH FOR WEEKS.
BACK IN THE DAYS BEFORE REFRIGERATION,
APPLES WOULD BE PLACED IN BARRELS
AND SUNK IN RIVERS OR LAKES FOR THE WINTER.
IN SPRING, THEY WERE FRESH AS DAISIES.
WHAT AM I THINKING? I WANT PIE NOW.
ALTHOUGH A HOST OF GIZMOS EXIST
FOR THE EXPRESS FUNCTION OF PEELING APPLES FOR PIE,
I FIND THAT AS LONG AS WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT LESS THAN 10 POUNDS,
I'M BETTER OFF WITH JUST A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED PEELER, LIKE THIS.
I LIKE THE ONES WITH THE SERRATED BLADES,
BY THE WAY.
NOW I HAVE TO ADMIT
THAT WHEN IT COMES TO CORING AND SLICING THESE APPLES,
I DO HAVE A WEAKNESS FOR A PARTICULAR GADGET,
AN APPLE CORER,
BUT NOT ONE LIKE THIS THAT ONLY HAS EIGHT BLADES.
NO, THIS IS A PUNY UNITASKER.
I GO FOR THE 12-BLADED MODEL,
WHICH IS NOT ONLY GOOD FOR APPLES,
BUT PEARS AND EVEN SMALL PINEAPPLES.
IT WILL CREATE PERFECTLY UNIFORM 1/2-INCH SLICES,
WHICH IS CRUCIAL,
BECAUSE IF THE PIECES AREN'T UNIFORM,
THE PIE WILL NOT SET AND COOK EVENLY.
ONCE YOU'VE HARVESTED YOUR SLICES,
MOVE THEM ALL BACK TO A BOWL AND TOSS
WITH 1/4 OF A CUP OF PLAIN OLD-FASHIONED SUGAR.
ONCE YOU'VE GOT THAT TOSSED IN,
YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO MOVE THE APPLES
AND WHATEVER SUGAR IS STILL HANGING ONTO THEM
INTO A COLANDER.
THEN PUT THE BOWL BACK UNDERNEATH THAT,
SO WE CATCH EVERY BIT OF LIQUID
THAT DRAINS AWAY.
THERE. WE'RE GONNA LET THIS JUST SIT AND DRAIN
FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF--
JUST ENOUGH TIME FOR A LITTLE TRIP TO THE BEACH.
LET'S SAY THAT THIS FABULOUS SEASIDE ABODE
IS A SLICE OF APPLE,
AND THAT THE LOVELY LADIES INSIDE ARE WATER MOLECULES.
THEN LET'S SAY THAT WE ADD SUGAR TO THE PARTY.
NOW BEING SERIOUSLY HYDROSCOPIC,
SUGAR'S SILENT SONG CALLS TO THE AQUA GIRLS,
EVENTUALLY COAXING THEM OUT TO MINGLE WITH HIM
TO FORM A SWEET SYRUP THAT WE WILL THEN DRAIN AWAY.
IF ENOUGH WATER VACATES THE PREMISES,
THE APPLE WILL COLLAPSE, AT LEAST PARTIALLY.
ALTHOUGH APPLE COLLAPSE SOUNDS RATHER CATASTROPHIC,
IT'S ACTUALLY A GOOD THING,
BECAUSE IF THE APPLES DON'T COLLAPSE
BEFORE THEY GO IN THE PIE,
THEY WILL COLLAPSE AFTER THEY'RE IN THE PIE,
DURING THE BAKING PROCESS,
AND THAT COULD LEAVE YOU
WITH A PHENOMENON CALLED THE PIE DOME,
WHICH LOOKS LIKE THIS.
AHH, SEE? WHAT HAPPENS HERE
IS THAT THE STARCH AND PROTEIN OF THE CRUST SET
WHILE THERE'S STILL A BIG PILE OF APPLES INSIDE.
AND THEN AS THE APPLES COLLAPSE DOWN,
YOU'RE LEFT WITH THIS BIG DOUGH DOME,
WHICH IS NOT GOOD EATS,
UNLESS, OF COURSE, MAYBE YOU STUFF IT WITH MARSHMALLOW CREAM
AND THEN YOU--NO. THAT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT.
NOW WHILE OUR SUGARED APPLES DRAIN,
LET'S CONSIDER THE REST OF THE SOFTWARE,
BEGINNING WITH SPICES.
RIGHT UP FRONT, LET ME SAY
THAT CINNAMON, CLOVES, ALLSPICE AND NUTMEG
ARE ALL FINE SPICES,
BUT THEY'VE GOT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
TO DO WITH APPLES, OKAY?
IF YOU WANT YOUR APPLE PIE TO TASTE LIKE PUMPKIN PIE,
GO AHEAD. IT'S YOUR FOOD.
ME? I'M KEEPING IT CLEAN,
WITH JUST ANOTHER 1/4 CUP OF SUGAR,
1/4 TEASPOON OF SALT
AND 1/4 TEASPOON OF GRAINS OF PARADISE,
FRESHLY GROUND.
NOW YOU MAY REMEMBER AFRAMOMUM MELEGUETTA
FROM OUR OKRA SHOW.
IT'S ALSO CALLED ALLIGATOR PEPPER,
ALTHOUGH IT DOESN'T TASTE LIKE PEPPER OR ALLIGATORS,
NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT.
YOU CAN EASILY FIND THIS THROUGH INTERNET SPICE PURVEYORS.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BOTHER,
CONSIDER THE TRADITIONAL SCANDINAVIAN SPICE FOR APPLES,
CARAWAY, IN THE SAME AMOUNT.
NEXT UP--THE FRIDGE,
WHERE OUR APPLE-PIE FILLING SOFTWARE CONTINUES
WITH 2 TEASPOONS OF FRESHLY SQUEEZED LIME JUICE
TO KEEP THE ACIDITY UP,
A TABLESPOON OF APPLE CIDER.
AND I DON'T MIND TELLING YOU-- IN A PINCH,
YOU COULD JUST USE A LITTLE BIT MORE OF THE OLD APPLEJACK.
AND 2 TABLESPOONS OF APPLE JELLY FOR FLAVOR
AND TO HELP BIND THE APPLES TOGETHER VIA PECTIN,
A KIND OF FRUIT GLUE THAT HOLDS CELL WALLS TOGETHER.
IT'S LIKE GELATIN, ONLY A CARB, NOT A PROTEIN.
ALTHOUGH WE COULD USE A WIDE VARIETY OF STARCHES
TO SUCCESSFULLY BIND OUR PIE,
I PREFER A FLOUR GROUND FROM CASSAVA,
CALLED TAPIOCA FLOUR.
I LIKE IT BECAUSE IT DISSOLVES MORE EASILY THAN CORNSTARCH.
IT DOESN'T GUM UP LIKE FLOUR.
IT GELS AT A WIDE RANGE OF TEMPERATURES,
EVEN IN THE FREEZER.
AND IT GIVE EVERYTHING IT TOUCHES A NICE, SPARKLING SHINE.
BY NOW THE APPLES WILL HAVE GIVEN UP QUITE A BIT OF JUICE.
AND ALTHOUGH WE DON'T WANT THEM IN THE APPLES,
DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE DON'T WANT THEM IN THE PIE.
SO INTO A SMALL SAUCE PAN OR SAUCIER
AND OVER MEDIUM HEAT
UNTIL IT REDUCES DOWN TO A GLAZE OF 2 TABLESPOONS.
NOW WE ASSEMBLE THE REST OF THE FILLING.
♪♪
TIME TO CONVERT THESE DOUGHY ROUNDS
INTO A CRUNCHY CRUST.
FIRST WE NEED OUR STATION SET.
I HAVE HERE SOME FLOUR,
JUST ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR FOR SPRINKLING.
I'VE GOT A NICE, BIG, OPEN, CLEAN EXPANSE.
I'VE GOT A ROLLING PIN.
I PREFER FRENCH-- THAT IS ONE WITHOUT HANDLES.
AND WE'LL NEED A COUPLE FEET OF WAX PAPER
ON WHICH WE WILL ACTUALLY DO THE DEED.
A LITTLE BIT OF FLOUR GOES DOWN,
'CAUSE THIS IS STICKY STUFF,
AND THE FIRST DISK COMES OUT.
A LITTLE FLOUR ON TOP OF THAT,
FOLD OVER THE WAX PAPER
AND THEN ROLL.
AND I JUST KINDA LIKE ROLLING
IN ONCE DIRECTION, THEN THE OTHER AND THEN TURN--
ALL THE WAY AROUND.
WE'RE LOOKING TO BRING THE DOUGH ALL THE WAY OUT
TO THE EDGE OF THE PAPER-- JUST ABOUT 12 INCHES.
THIS IS A RELATIVELY MOIST DOUGH,
SO IT'S NOT GONNA TAKE A LOT OF DOWNWARD PRESSURE.
JUST BARELY PUSH DOWN ON THE ROLLING PIN
AS YOU PUSH IT AWAY FROM YOU.
TURN AND ROLL. DON'T WORRY IF YOU GET A FEW CRACKS
OR IF A FISSURE OPENS UP.
IT'LL PATCH UP LATER, SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
IF THINGS START TO FEEL TOO STICKY, PEEL BACK THE PAPER,
ADD A LITTLE FLOUR AND KEEP GOING.
THERE. NOW WHEN YOU GET ONE DONE,
MOVE TO NUMBER TWO,
AND WE WILL USE THE SAME METHODOLOGY.
TIME TO PAN UP.
NOW THE TRADITIONAL METAL PIE PAN
OR GLASS PIE PLATE
MIGHT SEEM THE LOGICAL, IF NOT OBVIOUS, CHOICES HERE.
PERSONALLY, I'VE NEVER MANAGED
TO CUT AND REMOVE A PIECE OF PIE FROM ONE OF THESE
WITHOUT MAKING A BIG MESS--
WELL, CREAM PIE, MAYBE, ONCE OR TWICE, BUT FRUIT? NEVER.
WHAT I NEED IS A PAN THAT WILL ALLOW ME
TO GET A CLEAN SHOT AT THE SIDE AND BOTTOM CRUST
WITHOUT HAVING TO NEGOTIATE
ALL OF THESE NASTY CURVES AND ANGLES.
THE ANSWER IS--
NOT A SPRINGFORM PAN!
I THOUGHT I'D GOTTEN RID OF ALL THESE WRETCHED VESSELS.
YUCK! I WOULDN'T EVEN USE ONE OF THOSE FOR A CHEESECAKE.
NO, WHAT I NEED IS
A TART PAN.
THE SIDE AND THE BOTTOM ARE TWO PIECES FOR EASY DE-PANNING,
AND THESE RIDGES WILL MAKE
FOR A VERY PLEASANTLY CRUNCHY CRUST.
THE TART PAN ALSO MAKES LOADING OF THE DOUGH EXTRA EASY.
JUST FLIP THE BOTTOM PIECE OVER ONTO YOUR DISK,
REPLACE THE WAX PAPER, FLIP IT OVER
AND THEN FOLD THE EDGES OF THE DOUGH
UNTIL EVERYTHING IS UP ONTO THE BOTTOM OF THE TART PAN.
THEN YOU JUST DROP IT DOWN INSIDE--EASY.
FOLD OUT THE EDGES AND DON'T WORRY IF THEY CRACK OR TEAR.
YOU CAN TAKE OFF THE EXCESS AND PATCH THE HOLES.
THERE, JUST PUSH IT DOWN AGAINST THE FLUTES.
THERE, THAT'S IT.
OKAY, TIME TO LOAD UP THE FRUIT, RIGHT?
WELL, NOT SO FAST.
IF WE FILL THIS UP WITH APPLES, WHICH ARE FULL OF MOISTURE,
AND THEN WE CLAMP ON AN UPPER CRUST,
WE PUT IT IN THE OVEN, THE MOISTURE TURNS TO STEAM.
THE STEAM EXPANDS AND BLOWS OUT THE TOP OF THE PIE
LIKE MOUNT VESUVIUS.
NOW WE COULD GET AROUND THIS
BY PUTTING A LOT OF SLITS IN THE CRUST
OR MAKING A LATTICE TOP.
BUT STILL, FILLING IS GONNA COME UP OVER THE EDGES,
MAKE A BIG, STICKY, UGLY MESS
AND PROBABLY A GOOD BIT OF SMOKE WHILE WE'RE AT IT.
THERE IS A WAY AROUND THIS, HOWEVER.
CHECK OUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S TCHOTCHKE SHELF,
AND I GUARANTEE YOU WILL FIND
AT LEAST A COUPLE OF PIE BIRDS.
DEVELOPED IN ENGLAND
DURING THE PIE-CRAZED 19th CENTURY
THE BIRD IS BASICALLY A CERAMIC STEAM STACK
DESIGNED TO VENT A PIE'S INTERNAL PRESSURE.
THE BLACKBIRD IS STANDARD--
A PLAY ON "4 AND 20 BLACKBIRDS BAKED IN A PIE."
IF YOU CAN'T FIND ONE AT A KITCHEN STORE OR ONLINE,
YOU CAN MAKE ONE OUT OF ALUMINUM FOIL, LIKE THIS,
OR YOU CAN DO WHAT I DID
AND JUST, WELL, TAKE THEM
WHEN YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S ASLEEP.
OKAY, FINALLY, WE BUILD.
PIE BIRD-- DEAD IN THE CENTER--BOOM.
THE APPLES WE'LL START LAYERING FROM THE OUTSIDE IN,
WHICH IS CONVENIENT BECAUSE THE CURVE OF THE APPLE
ACTUALLY MATCHES THE CURVE OF THE PAN.
THE GOAL HERE IS TO OVERLAP THEM EVENLY
AS YOU GO AROUND.
JUST MAKE ANOTHER CIRCLE
AND THEN ANOTHER CIRCLE INSIDE THAT ONE
UNTIL YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE.
THERE. NOW START BUILDING ANOTHER LAYER ON TOP OF THAT
AND MOVE OUTWARD.
THE GOAL--TO HAVE ALL THE APPLES EVENLY INTERLACED
AND PILED SLIGHTLY HIGHER IN THE MIDDLE THAN THE OUTSIDE.
OF COURSE, BEING ABLE
TO KIND OF PILE THINGS AGAINST THE PIE BIRD
HELPS IN DOING THAT.
NOW WHATEVER LIQUID IS REMAINING IN THE BOWL,
GO AHEAD AND POUR THAT OVER.
THE TOP PIECE OF CRUST JUST GETS LAID RIGHT OVER,
AND KIND OF POKE THE LITTLE BIRDIE'S HEAD THROUGH.
AND THEN SEALING THIS IS SIMPLE.
JUST USE THE HEEL OF YOUR HAND
AND JUST PUSH DOWN AGAINST THOSE CRIMPS.
LET THE PAN DO THE WORK FOR YOU.
AGAIN, IF ANY SPLITS OR TEARS SHOW UP,
LIKE THAT ONE, WE'LL PATCH.
NOW THE FINAL STEP
IS THE REDUCTION-- THE GLAZE THAT WE MADE.
WE JUST WANT TO BRUSH THAT ON.
YOU SEE, IT'S PRETTY STICKY STUFF.
THAT'S GONNA ADD A GOOD BIT OF FLAVOR
AND, BECAUSE OF THE SUGAR, COLOR.
JUST TRY NOT TO GET IT RIGHT UP AGAINST THE EDGE
WHERE THE PAN IS
OR IT WILL LITERALLY GLUE THE PIE TO THE PAN.
REMOVE THE BOTTOM RACK FROM YOUR HOT BOX.
CRANK IT TO 425 DEGREES
AND SLIDE YOUR PIE
RIGHT ONTO THE FLOOR OF THE OVEN.
THIS WAY THE BOTTOM OF THE PIE WILL BROWN AND COOK QUICKLY,
BEFORE THE APPLES HAVE A CHANCE TO GET TOO FAR ALONG.
THAT'S IMPORTANT.
AFTER 30 MINUTES,
WE NEED TO GET THE PIE OFF OF THE FLOOR OF THE OVEN
SO THAT THE CRUST WON'T ACTUALLY BURN.
SO MOVE A RACK INTO THE LOWEST OR NEXT TO LOWEST POSITION,
GET THE PIE BACK IN
AND THEN BAKE FOR ANOTHER 20 MINUTES.
AHH, TIME IS UP.
YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY SORRY THAT WE HAVEN'T WORKED OUT
THAT SCRATCH-AND-SNIFF TELEVISION YET,
BECAUSE NOTHING STINKS UP A HOUSE QUITE AS PRETTY
AS APPLE PIE.
NOW THE HARD PART--
AMERICA, THIS PIE MUST COOL
FOR A MINIMUM OF FOUR HOURS.
IT'LL TAKE THAT LONG FOR THE APPLE PECTINS
AND THE TAPIOCA STARCH AND THE JELLY TO SET.
SKIP THIS AND YOU WILL HAVE COBBLER.
BELIEVE ME, YOUR PATIENCE WILL BE REWARDED.
YOU KNOW, AUNT BEA MIGHT HAVE BEEN OKAY
PARKING A PIE IN THE WINDOWSILL,
BUT SHE DIDN'T LIVE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
WHEN THE TIME FINALLY COMES TO CUT THAT PIE,
HERE'S HOW WE DE-PAN. THIS IS THE COOL PART.
JUST FIND SOMETHING
THAT IS NARROWER THAN THE BOTTOM OF THE TART PAN
AND--AH-HA--OFF IT COMES.
I LOVE THAT.
YOU CAN EITHER USE A SPATULA AND A PARING KNIFE
TO KIND OF JIMMY OFF THAT BOTTOM PLATE,
OR YOU CAN JUST LEAVE IT IN PLACE, WHICH IS WHAT I DO.
ALWAYS CUT WITH A SERRATED KNIFE.
IT'S A LOT EASIER ON THE CRUST.
AND JUST KINDA CARVE AROUND THE LITTLE BLACKBIRD.
HERE I COME, BIRDIE.
IN CLOSING, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT--
I DON'T REALLY THINK I NEED TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON "GOOD EATS," AMERICA.
Closed Captions provided by Scripps Networks, LLC.
Captioned by Closed Captioning Services, Inc.