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What? I know you?
We were engaged, like, two months ago.
What's good with you, Chinaman?
Sarah, I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight...
Maybe we can talk a little bit?
SARAH: Can't! Gene's CD drops tomorrow, man!
We gotta show it some love on Twitter. You know how we do.
When did you start listening to rap music and talking like this?
Listen playa', can you pass me that box right there please?
They don't sell Gene's *** size in stores.
You know how we do!
BROTHER FREDDY: Oh, it's just a standard confidentiality agreement.
By signing this, you promise not to disclose any of the work that you'll be doing here
Or any activities you might witness
Legal or illegal.
And of course, we promise not to disclose the identity of our client.
Alright, well my crew doesn't have to sign this, right?
Oh, I wouldn't be too worried about them.
Who's gonna believe a bunch of illegal immigrants anyways?
They say one word and I will [SNAP]
Have them deported.
It's so funny.
"Meester Immigration man, please I have twenty children!"
"I have family. I need chickens and rice."
"I don't know what to do, happy birthday. I'm so scared. Waaaah!"
Praise Jesus and the good book!
I'm going to inform the client--
MC SKIM MILK: No needs to inform me!
KIRK: Ooooh, it's MC Skim Milk!
MC SKIM MILK: Let's do this mother [BLEEP]!
MC SKIM MILK: Alright, gentlemen. Feast your eyes on my bachelor's pad.
Y'know this place was featured on TV!
Were you on "Cribs"?
I was on "Cradles".
Oh! Word of Jesus!
Wait-- wait a minute... I know this song.
My ex-girlfriend, Sarah, played it.
That's Silencio's jam.
MC SKIM MILK: Alright, y'all! This is my mix master of beats!
His beats is that clean!
He's raving like he ate a disco biscuit!
I don't know what that means, my weird voice friend.
But let me tell you something: you gotta have raps and raves. Everyone's crossing over now!
DJ Antiseptic, won't you please be so kind as to give MC Skim Milk his daily inspirations.
This is the place, by the way,
Where we want to build our studio.
How long will it take?
Lord willing, can it be done sooner?
Have you seen my crew?
This needs to be my sanctuary.
A bedroom for my beats.
A day spa for my ***.
A massage parlor for my nuts.
He's still got it!
This calls for prayer. Let's all hold hands!
Dear master of mixes!
Master of musicology! Lord of rhythm!
Please bless this studio space!
So that MC Skim Milk will return to his former glory of 1991!
Minus the *** case.
Bless our labor crew.
Though, they are of clearly inferior race.
Please Lord! Keep them safe, so that we may benefit from their cheap labor!
Which is killing our God-fearing country
And destroying our morality as Americans...
But please keep them safe!
Jesus H. Christ.
Yes! Amen! Amen!
JOHN: Forrest, what are we doing here?
We can't build a recording studio!
What do you mean 'we'? I don't work. Why not?
It requires precision engineering.
That's why I hired a roly-poly Asian to build it.
I don't know anything about engineering.
FORREST: You're good with numbers, right?
I was an accountant.
Yeah, just use the numbers, y'know, in accounting and change it for use in a recording studio.
Y'know, use a tape measure. An abacus.
Chopsticks. I don't care. Just get it done!
I gotta call Candy and tell her who the client is.
What about that confidentiality agreement?
Yeah, that was before I knew who it was. MC Skim Milk!
I don't even know who that guy is.
KIRK: Are you kidding?
He is the greatest rapper ever!
He's the Jackie Robinson of rap!
He allegedly killed his hype man. That's injustice.
'Cuz look at the joy he brings.
KIRK: He's a lyrical genius.
Lyrical genius, huh?
Brother Freddy! The song's almost done!
What the [BLEEP] is taking you so long, you nerd?!
What am I paying you for?!
Do you think they bought it?
Yes, they bought it. Stop being so insecure!
Insecure? What if they find out I didn't go to prison?
It was like jail.
MC SKIM MILK: It was a day spa for eight months.
They didn't have wi-fi. Hello?!
MC SKIM MILK: And they botched my hot stone colonic.
Just a minute.
Hello? Brother Freddy here.
Where's the bathroom at?
BROTHER FREDDY: DId you pass the horse stables or an oxygen chamber?
Never mind. I found it.
MC SKIM MILK: But, Brother Freddy, why can't I do some songs?
Because Nate went to Princeton.
Because Nate has a degree in English.
Because Nate is Black.
Mainly the "Black" part.
I've been working really *** this stuff, man.
Can I just do one for you?
MC SKIM MILK: Please.
Please, please, please?!
Okay, okay, okay! Just no tantrums.
MC SKIM MILK: Alright, yo!
I call this next mix:
Girl, you look like a cantaloupe, but you're green.
You taste even sweeter,
MC SKIM MILK: if you know what I mean.
Let me in, girl, I wanna be in you.
Cuz my balls is as grand--
As a fresh honeydew.
What do you have for me, Nate?
MC SKIM MILK: C'mon, Freddy!
I know what the public wants to hear!
They wanna hear about my balls!
They wanna hear about life on the street.
BROTHER FREDDY: They don't want to hear someone comparing their balls to fruit.
Look, people want hard and there's nothing harder than my balls!
That's it! I've had enough!
Nate, you are writing the rest of these songs.
You better have four songs written for me by the end of this day--
If not, there's no more medication for Nana!
Oh no! Nana's gonna die! Now!
[CASH REGISTER SOUND]
MC SKIM MILK: So, they tell me your name is Silencio.
Tell me: do you rap, my brown brotha'?
MC SKIM MILK: Word! Word!
You know what? Your silence is deafening.
Maybe that's what I missing in my raps?
Silence. Silence be hard!
JOHN: Uh, excuse me, Mr. Milk.
I was wondering if you could take a look at my rap.
"This is how I feel. My heart is blazing."
"Time to get back with my favorite Asian."
What is this?
MC SKIM MILK: This *** ain't hard, playa.
I'm trying to get back with my ex-girlfriend.
MC SKIM MILK: Haha! That ain't gonna make her wets!
You gotta rap about pimpin', drugs, hoochie hoes.
I've never done drugs. I don't even drink coffee.
What you need, my friend, is some inspiration.
This -- this is inspiration?
Give him a taste.
MC SKIM MILK: Yeah, suck on this. Suck on its.
Now, my friend, let go. Get inspired!
You need video? Okay, how much?
Ten thousand dollars?
MC SKIM MILK: Let me tell you something, Helen Keller--
Your silent style has inspired me!
I want yous to my new hype man, playa!
MC SKIM MILK: Yo, what's up, DJ Antiseptic?
What music are you listening to, my white brother?
It's the music in my mind.
Song in my soul.
Beats in my balls.
Hey, I'm running a little low on my inspirations.
Why don't you hook that up for big papas?
Uh, I'm on the list.
You don't look Black to me.
What's wrong with you? Shouldn't you be dry-*** something?
It's not fair. I'm Skim Milk's biggest fan
And he's only talking to Silencio.
Y'know, actually, I was just talking to him
FORREST: And he wants you to help write his new song.
Tell your life story.
Really? Talk about Bahamian beaches?
Yeah, Bahamian ***.
I think this beat's missing a little something.
It's just missing something from the core.
How about some Bahamian steel drums?
KIRK: I'm here to help.
You're not MC Skim Milk.
NATE: I've been writing for MC Skim Milk for about five years now.
Double-wide trailer, here I come.
Oh, well, Brother Forrest...
I didn't see you standing there.
Well, like Jesus, I'm everywhere.
NATE: Freddy gives me about five dollars per song.
FREDDY: What the hell is this?
My retirement plan.
You signed a confidentiality agreement under the watchful eye of the Lord!
But my employees didn't.
What do you want?
[MUSIC] MC SKIM MILK: Word! Word!
This is good stuff, Silencio. Keep it coming.
Keep it coming, papi!
Excuse me. Excuse me, Mr. Skim Milk?
Why is your Hispanic fat *** interrupting my creative process?
I've got something to show you!
Why you trippin', boo?
Now, get me that footage.
MC SKIM MILK: Praise rap Jesus! The studio is finished!
[BANJO MUSIC] MC SKIM MILK: I've been waiting my whole life for this!
Oh my God! This how we do!
MC SKIM MILK: This is unbelievable!
This is how we do! This how we do! I've been waiting my whole life for this!
Forrest, you were right, dude! I just started thinking. I started focusing.
JOHN: Next thing I know I was hammering and sawing.
JOHN: Hammering and sawing.
Look at this place! I built it with my bare hands! It's awesome!
Yeah. Way to go "To Wong Foo".
It's supposed to take months.
You cost me thousands.
Well, at least, I got to record my demo CD.
MC SKIM MILK: Hey, you're fired, egghead!
MC SKIM MILK: I'm gonna write my own stuff from now on!
That's right, get to steppin'!
Brother Freddy: Let's not rush to judgement here!
FORREST: I thought you said you didn't know anything about wiring a studio?
[SOUNDS OF FIRE] [FIRE TRUCK SIRENS]
MC SKIM MILK: Aaaah! No!
Where's the hat?
[FIRE TRUCK SIRENS]
We also repair fire damage.