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A while ago we did a video about Korean Computer game championships
[footage from that video]
So, Korea's really into Starcraft, which is a
Real-time, strategy, military, exploring, a$$-kicking, multiplayer game
[starcraft music]
Now, Martina and I are really into video games,
We have a PS3, a PSP, a Nintendo Wii, and two DSes.
But we feel like we're ready now to get into computer games,
So we've been practicing on our Starcraft, we're ready to go online
and start kicking some a$$! Oh yeah!
Ok, so when you start the game what you wanna do is
you want to start mining for resources. And with these resources
you can start buying factories and building soldiers and stuff like that
aaaand...what the hell?
and somebody's killing me already. That's quite fast.
I think I'm going to start another game.
[sound of Starcraft death]
Ok so I've been mining for a while now and I'm ready to start
building some factories and start kicking...
...WHAT THE HELL!
[more sounds of Simon's Starcraft deaths]
Okay so last time what happened was that I didn't set up
any defence perimeter so they were able to fly in and destroy me.
This time I've got these guys up here that are anti-aircraft
and they're gonna be able to shoot everybody down.
ahh! What...why can't...ohh!
[again, sounds of Simon dying]
Okay so what happened last time was that I didn't have anybody
defending my anti-aircraft and now they're gonna do so,
so check this out. They're gonna shoot them.
AND I'VE GOT THE BATTLESHIPS BABY! OHH Y--
What the hell?! Where are these other guys coming from?
Oh my god! These ships cost me like 400 bucks a pop.
NOOOO They're down to two. Okay. No! No! You can fight them off,
you can---how the hell are they getting more ships?!
Oh my god! What do I do? What do I do? Come on!
I need some guys. I've got one ship left. Holy crap!
What--ok. O--
[Listen to Simon's ships getting obliterated]
Okay so, I don't understand what happened last time,
I'm just gonna try to take it slow and try starting this over again,
and I've, I'm setting up a barracks now to try to set up some
better defence, and I think I'm gonna be good here.
Okay. I've got my barracks all set up and...
oh no...somebody's coming again :(
Oh my god! He's got 40 marines.
Okay, I can take him out, I can take him out.
Come on! Just please, just, just, don't die again!
Ahhh! Wait, ok, I've got one and, ohhh
My barracks is dead! And my machine guy is dead!
And my tank is dead...
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!!!
[Sounds of countless innocent workers being slaughtered]
[Simon's sobs]
[Sounds of another civilization ruthlessly being wiped off the face of the planet]
[More of Simon's sobs]
[Sounds of an empire being demolished]
[Simon's sobs, as he eats his comfort food, peanut butter]
[Sounds of another civilization, almost developed, becoming extinct]
[Sobs. Sad, heartwrenching sobs.]
[ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US]
OK! Who the hell is this "Snuggleduck" screen name Starcraft Loser
That I keep on playing against?! You have no freaking life!
How the hell did you get so good at Starcraft?!
I hate your guts! This is stupid!
Why am I even wearing this HOOD?!
[sounds of a PC ***]
Man, Simon is such a loser!
[more sounds of PC ***]