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Heya playas, so today I wanted to address an issue that I feel has been greatly ignored
by the media over the past few years. Humiliation, mockery, and defamation of character is something
I experienced early on in elementary school because of this. And it's time kids had a
role model, someone they could look up to that is not afraid to speak out about these
truths. So here I am to defend the rights of left handed people. But being left handed
is not a disadvantage. Oh, I beg to differ. Have you ever been in the middle of writing
an epic novel only to have it ruined because you get ink smeared all over your hand? Or
whenever you want to enjoy the design of a coffee mug you have to risk spilling it all
over yourself just to look at it. And there's even something called the right rule which
dictates that whenever a person enters a store, 90% of the time they're gonna walk to the
right. What kind of monkey handed *** is that? Try it next time, see which side
of the store you walk towards. And no matter what sport you play they have to give you
a weird little nickname to go along with it. Hey look at that skateboarder, he's goofy
footed. Hey look at that boxer, he's a southpaw. People even make fun of me because I have
two left hands. Can't I just be me? And I'm sure you're probably wondering just like I
was. In what stage of your life do you develop your dominant hand? Well some random ***
I read on wikipedia said which ever hand is closer to your mouth when you're an itty bitty
baby is usually gonna be your dominant hand. So I guess I was sitting in the womb like
this for nine months which is not much different when i'm waiting in line at the DMV. And another
cooky thing that I read was the vanishing twins theory which states that you were part
of an identical twins set at birth however the other twin never came about. What happened
to them? They simply vanished. Which could only mean one thing... And I'm gonna be that
someone. The people out there need to know that someone is standing up for the rights
of right handed people. This whole being left handed thing is no joke. There are parents
that go out of their way to make sure that their kids learn how to do everything with
their right hand. It's like every time you go to do something with your left hand, stop
it. That's wrong, hey hey. Whatever the case is, you need to know that the left handed
voice will be heard. It's time to speak up. I want you guys to go to Twitter and write
out all the cool things you can do with your left hand and tag that ***, #LeftHanded.
But alas we live in a right hand dominated world. And that means we need to learn to
use these right handed tools to function. So if that means using a pair of scissors
awkwardly with my left hand then so be it. Or having to reach all the way across the
camera to take a photo, then so be it. I'll even learn how to open up a can of soda with
my left hand if I have to. And reading books, one of my past time favorite hobbies is not
gonna suffer either because I'm left handed. Because I can assure you right now that us
left handers will not be stopped. As always guys, lo... love and peace. Ok right handers,
we need to open up our eyes. Every single one of us has a left handed twin out there
who's trying to disassemble the norm. We're gonna use our scissors the right way. We're
gonna be proud of the fact that the dial on our watches faces outward to make it easy
for us to use. Those left handed jerks got nothing on us. Right hand power. Oh no, I
can explain. Some of my best friends are Jewish. I swear.