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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION
- BEEN SEARCHING FOR A FATHER'S DAY GIFT ALL MONTH?
HERE ARE SOME "MAD" MOMENTS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED.
FRIDAY, 10 A.M.
THE NEW "MY LITTLE PONY" MOVIE SEES PONIES AS GIRLS,
WHILE MOVIE PRODUCERS SEE PONIES AS CASH COWS.
TUESDAY, 7 P.M.
JUNE MARKS NATIONAL ACCORDION MONTH,
WHICH ALSO HAPPENS TO BE NATIONAL EAR PLUG MONTH.
SATURDAY, 4 P.M.
SURI CRUISE GETS A MULTI-MILLION-DOLLAR
FASHION DESIGN DEAL,
WHICH IS AS ABSURD AS THIS.
- HA HA HA!
♪ A-YABBA-BOY YABBA ♪
♪ MAD ♪
♪ A-YABBA-BOY YABBA ♪
♪ A-YABBA-BOY YABBA ♪
♪ MAD ♪
[BOOM]
- HURRY UP, HOOPER. I WANT TO HIT THIS SHARK WITH ANOTHER BALLOON
SO HE DON'T GO DOWN AGAIN.
- DON'T WAIT FOR ME.
- LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT THING.
[BOOM]
- NOT WITH 3 BALLOONS HE CAN'T GO DOWN.
NOT WITH 3 OF THEM. GIVE ME THOSE BALLOONS!
[BOOM BOOM BOOM]
- YES!
UH-OH.
AAH! - AAH!
I THINK WE'RE GONNA NEED A HEAVIER BOAT.
- I THINK WE NEED BETTER LUCK. LOOK!
[ROARING]
- AAH! - AAH!
- I THINK WE'RE OK.
- YEAH, BUT WE'RE STILL UP PRETTY HIGH.
LOOK HOW TINY THOSE PEOPLE LOOK DOWN THERE.
[THUNK]
- OH.
- WHO YOU CALLIN' TINY?
[CRASH]
- AAH!
- WELCOME TO OZ.
YOU MUST BE THE WIZARD SENT TO SAVE US.
- YEAH, HE'S THE WIZARD.
BUT, UH, WE'RE HIS TEAM,
SO ANYTHING YOU NEED TO SAY, YOU CAN SAY TO US.
- WELL, AN EVIL WITCH IS ENDANGERING THE LIVES OF OUR PEOPLE.
BUT THE MAYOR REFUSES TO CLOSE THE CITY.
- IT'S TOURIST SEASON. IT'LL BE BAD FOR BUSINESS.
- TELL ME, MR. MAYOR. IS THERE A REWARD IF WE CATCH THIS WITCH?
- UNTOLD RICHES.
- OH, I'LL FIND HER FOR THE RICHES,
BUT I'LL CATCH HER AND KILL HER FOR THE THRILL.
- DEAL. NOW JUST FOLLOW THIS GOLDEN PATH--
- YOU MEAN THAT YELLOW BRICK ROAD?
- HEH. LISTEN, YOU YELL GOLDEN PATH,
PEOPLE SAY, "HUH? WHAT?"
YOU YELL YELLOW BRICK ROAD,
AND WE'VE GOT A LAWSUIT ON OUR HANDS
AT THE WARNER BROS. STUDIOS. NOW GET OUT THERE.
- I DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE GONNA CATCH THE WITCH THIS WAY.
- YOU CAN CATCH ANYTHING WITH THE RIGHT BAIT.
- HE'S RIGHT. AND SINCE I'M THE SMART ONE,
I'M USING FLYING MONKEYS.
- [SCREECHING]
- AAH! AAH!
- I STILL DON'T THINK WE'RE GONNA CATCH HER THIS WAY.
- MM...MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
- I THINK WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER PLAN.
- AAH! UGGH!
- I HAVE JUST THE THING.
- NO WAY. IF YOU THINK
I'M GOING DOWN THERE IN A SHARK TANK,
YOU'RE CRAZY.
- OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT. THIS IS OURS.
- WHEW! GOOD.
- YOU'RE GOIN' IN A BUBBLE.
- SAY WHAAAT?!
- AH HEE HEE HEE HEE! - BBBLLL!
- THIS ISN'T WORKING EITHER. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
- EXCUSE ME. ARE EITHER OF YOU THE WIZARD?
HE, UH, HE'S SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME A HEART.
- HMM.
- WAIT. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GIVING ME A HEART.
- I AM.
- HMM. IT SMELLS LIKE PROPANE.
- DIDN'T YOU KNOW? HEARTS SMELL LIKE PROPANE.
[THUNDER CRASHES]
- COME ON. SHOW ME THE TANK.
SHOW ME THE TANK.
- CAN I HELP YOU?
- SMILE, YOU WITCH.
[CLANK]
- WE DID IT! WE SAVED THE PEOPLE OF OZ.
- NOT QUITE.
- [BELCH]
- OH, REALLY?
THAT'S HOW THIS ENDS?
WE'RE GONNA NEED A BETTER SCRIPT.
[SCISSORS SNIPPING]
- [ARF!]
- AND JOHNSON'S ABOUT TO TEE OFF HERE.
[RUMBLING, ROARING]
HANG ON. IT APPEARS THE GOLF MONSTER HAS RETURNED.
LET'S SEE. LOOKS LIKE SOME OTHER PLAYERS ARE HERE
TO FORCE THAT MONSTER BACK IN THE HOLE
AND JOHNSON HAS NOW JOINED IN.
IT LOOKS LIKE HE SELECTED THE 9-IRON. INTERESTING.
AND THAT APPEARS TO BE ALL.
THE MONSTER HAS RETURNED TO HIS CHASM.
TIME FOR THE FIFTH HOLE.
- GOLF.
IF ONLY IT WERE LIKE THAT.
- THE FIREFIGHTER'S POLE--
THE MOST EFFICIENT FORM OF TRANSPORTATION EVER CREATED.
ALL THE SPEED OF FALLING
WITH NONE OF THE HITTING THE GROUND.
BUT WHY SHOULD FIREFIGHTERS HAVE ALL THE FUN?
INTRODUCING THE EVERYONE'S POLE,
THE FIREFIGHTER'S POLE FOR EVERYONE.
SAY GOOD-BYE TO BORING OLD STAIRS.
THE EVERYONE'S POLE ADDS SPEED AND EFFICIENCY
TO YOUR TRIP TO...
THE DINING ROOM...
- AAH!
- YOUR BEDROOM...
- AND THE BATHROOM.
- UH, SOMEBODY IN HERE.
- SO THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE A FIREFIGHTER,
TELL THEM YOU NOW HOW GOOD THEY HAVE IT.
JUST DON'T TELL THEM WHERE YOU GOT IT,
BECAUSE WE BASICALLY JUST TOOK THEIRS.
THE EVERYONE'S POLE.
SURE, BUILDINGS WILL BURN.
BUT YOU CAN GET TO THE LIVING ROOM QUICKER.
- GOTTA SAY, THEIR DEFENSE IS KILLING US HERE.
- [GASP] AH, NO, HERE COMES THE BOSS
AND I DON'T HAVE MY REPORT READY.
COVER FOR ME, OK?
- HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN McKENNA?
- UH...NOPE.
- ISN'T THAT HIM RIGHT THERE?
- UH...YEAH.
- AND THAT DOESN'T WORK IN THE OFFICE, DOES IT?
- UH...NO.
- WELL, WHEN HE COMES UP,
TELL HIM I'M LOOKING FOR HIM.
[POP]
- HOO HOO! THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.
- AND NOW A SPECIAL MADITORIAL.
- WOULDN'T IT MAKE A LOT OF SENSE
IF GOATS AND SHEEP WERE THE SAME ANIMAL,
BUT THE GOATS WERE THE BOYS
AND THE SHEEP WERE THE GIRLS?
I MEAN, LOOK AT THE FACTS. GOATS HAVE BEARDS.
SHEEP HAVE LONG CURLY HAIR.
AND, UH, WELL, ACTUALLY,
THAT'S ALL I GOT FOR THIS ONE.
[SLURP, GULP]
USUALLY I THINK THESE THINGS OUT A LITTLE MORE.
BUT TRUTH BE TOLD, I WOKE UP LATE TODAY
AND HAD TO RUSH TO THE STUDIO.
I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO PUT ON MY CLOTHES.
THESE ARE MY PAJAMAS. YES, I SLEEP IN MY SUIT.
IT'S SORT OF A PAJAMA SUIT.
IT'S NOT WEIRD.
ANYWAY, IF ANY SCIENTISTS ARE WATCHING,
PLEASE, MAKE IT SO GOATS AND SHEEP
ARE CLASSIFIED AS THE SAME ANIMAL.
AND IF ANY SUIT-MAKERS ARE WATCHING,
PLEASE, CONSIDER MAKING SLACKS WITH FOOTIES.
A LOT OF PEOPLE SLEEP IN SUITS.
IT'S NOT WEIRD.
- THIS HAS BEEN A MADITORIAL.
- MAD!
[INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO]
- OUT OF THE WAY, REAL POLICE OFFICERS.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR ME AND MY PSYCHIC PARTNER.
- LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU AND YOUR--
PSYCHIC DUCK?
- PSYDUCK.
- CATCH AN ALL-NEW "PSYDUCK"
AND SEE POLICE WORK DONE BY A YELLOW DUCK MONSTER.
- PSYDUCK.
- SEE? HE SAYS THE PARK RANGER DID IT.
- BUT HOW DOES HE KNOW? - PSYCHIC.
- PSYDUCK. - SEA CAPTAIN DID IT.
- BUT-- - PSYCHIC.
- PSYDUCK. - CLOWN DID IT.
- NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE--
- PSYCHIC DUCK. PSYDUCK.
- ALL RIGHT, I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S NOT PSYCHIC
AND YOU GUYS AREN'T COPS.
YOU JUST TAUGHT A WEIRD DUCK TO SAY ITS NAME, DIDN'T YOU?
- COULD A WEIRD DUCK DO THIS?
- PSYDUCK.
- PROBABLYYYY!
- "PSYDUCK."
THEY'LL PRETTY MUCH LET ANYTHING
BE A COP AT THIS POINT.
- WELL, HOW DO THEY FEEL?
- I'M NOT SURE. I THINK I'LL TAKE THEM FOR A RUN.
- SURE.
- [PANTING]
I'LL TAKE 'EM!
HA HA HA!
I SHOWED HIM!
OOH, SOCKS!
["SPY VS. SPY" THEME PLAYS]
- HA HA HA HA!
[MUSIC STOPS]
[WHIR, CLANK]
AAH!
- HA HA HA HA!
[THUNDER]
- [GRUNT]
- AHH.
- EXCUSE ME, MR. OWL.
- HOO!
- CAN YOU TELL ME, HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO--
- [SCREECHING] - AAH! AAH! AAH!
ITS FEET ARE LIKE KNIVES!
AAH! AND ITS FACE IS LIKE A YELLING KNIFE!
AAH! AAH!
- OWLS.
DON'T BE FOOLED BY THEIR WISDOM.
- CAPTAIN, WE'VE RECEIVED A DISTRESS SIGNAL
FROM THE ORION SECTOR. THE "ENTERPRISE"
IS THE ONLY SHIP CLOSE ENOUGH TO RESPOND.
- I SEE. REPORT TO THE BRIDGE.
- OW!
- HA HA HA HA HA HA.
I JUST HAD IT LOCKED FROM THE INSIDE.
YOU JUST GOT PRANKED BY OLD SPOCK.
HELLO, I'M OLD SPOCK.
AFTER MY PLANET WAS DESTROYED
AND MY TIMELINE ERASED, I FOUND MYSELF
WITH A LOT OF FREE TIME.
TO REMAIN RELEVANT, I DECIDED
TO PLAY PRANKS ON YOUNGSTERS.
SO SET YOUR PHASERS TO FUNNY
AND INPUT COORDINATES TO THE LAUGHTER GALAXY,
BECAUSE YOU'RE WATCHING "OFF THEIR SPOCKERS."
- I'M SORRY, CAPTAIN. THE ENGINES CAN'T HANDLE
THIS KIND OF STRESS YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT.
I DON'T HAVE THE POWER.
- WELL, WE JUST NEED TO-- OH, COME ON.
- [SNORING] - IS HE DEAD?
- OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE, JUST WAKE HIM UP.
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
- I CAN'T DO THAT. HE'S...
OLD.
- HA HA HA HA!
GOT YOU! I WASN'T REALLY ASLEEP.
WELL, I WAS FOR A WHILE. BUT NOT WHEN YOU CAME IN.
I PRANKED YOU GOOD.
HA HA HA HA HA--
[SNORING]
- COME ON, JUST LEAVE HIM BE.
WE CAN USE THE OTHER BRIDGE.
- [SNORING]
NOW, THAT WAS A MOST
IL-LOL-GICAL JOKE.
HA HA HA!
PLEASE, ENJOY ANOTHER ONE.
- GOING AT WARP SPEED, I ESTIMATE
WE SHOULD REACH ORION BY--
- WHAT IS HE DOING?
- I THINK HE WANTS US TO TRIP OVER HIM.
- THAT'S RIDICULOUS. I CAN SEE HIM.
- I KNOW, BUT WE SHOULD HUMOR HIM.
HE'S OLD. - [SIGHS]
UH-HUM, JUST WALKING ALONG,
AND--OH, NO! I APPEAR TO HAVE TRIPPED.
- HA HA HA! I GOT YOU.
PRANKED. NOW HELP ME UP.
HA HA HA HA! THAT WAS ALSO A PRANK.
I DIDN'T NECESSARILY NEED YOUR HELP TO GET UP.
HA HA HA! SECOND PRANK.
- THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.
- IT'S THIS CAMERA, RIGHT?
THAT ONE? OH, OK.
[BOOM]
- SPOCK, REPORT.
- CAPTAIN, THE DISTRESS SIGNAL
WAS ACTUALLY A TRAP SET BY THE KLINGONS.
WE'RE TAKING HEAVY FIRE.
- I SEE. CHEKOV, FIRE THE PHOTON TORPEDOES.
- SIR, I CAN'T. THE PHOTON TORPEDOES ARE...
GONE!
- THAT'S BECAUSE I TOO THEM OUT.
HA HA HA HA!
YOU JUST GOT SPOCKED.
HA HA HA HA HA!
[BOOM]
- I STILL DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS.
HE'S SO OLD.
- CAPTAIN, JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS OLD,
THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO PRETEND THEY'RE STILL FUNNY.
THIS IS THE ONLY WAY.
- I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT.
CHEKOV, FIRE WHEN READY.
- AYE, CAPTAIN.
- AAH!
- [SPEAKING KLINGON]
[SPLAT]
- HEH HEH HEH.
SPOCKED.
- HA HA HA HA HA!
- UHH!
- MAD!
- MAD!
- ♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
- ♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
- MAD!
- ♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
- PSYCHIC DUCK. - PSYDUCK!