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My name's Brent.
I served in the Army for six years, active, then I was in
the Reserves.
When I got out I had a hell of a time assimilating back into
civilian society.
I drank a lot.
Every night.
And I did it to numb myself or try to forget what I saw, and
what I did.
I got deployed, called back, deployed, and the night after
I got back I went out, got liquored up, and got arrested
for drunk driving.
It's was not a good--
I'm not proud of it.
It was a pretty bad situation.
But I was fortunate that the people involved, my lawyer,
pulled out, used my military record, excellent record.
And we said we just got a guy here that needs help.
And I got substance abuse through the city and had to go
on probation.
I was having a hard time.
I was bouncing from job to job and relationships weren't--
I just wouldn't let anybody in.
I just told myself I came from a family or generation that
you don't talk to people about your problems. You're not
allowed to have mental issues.
And so that's what I thought.
It went on for several years.
Just, you know, feeling lost. Hopeless, at times.
Just a few months ago I was going on the highway and there
was a terrible accident.
A guy got killed.
A big diesel RV rear-ended the guy.
And I was the median, and then he was there.
So I was 100 feet away watching this.
And they brought a Medivac in, helicopter, and that night I
had flashbacks and nightmares.
I was Medivaced out at one time.
At that time I'd been working with Veterans with PTSD, and
felt that I was recovering, or recovered.
And I had about two or three weeks of that then I called a
friend of mine that's a psychiatrist at the
VA that I work with.
And he's always told me, every time I see him, I'm talking
about other Veterans.
And he'd say but how are you?
And he said if I ever needed to talk, to get a hold of him.
So we talked.
I understand all these things going through the classes, the
training, and just picking it up while I'm doing it.
And I couldn't figure out why I couldn't stop it.
And after talking to the doctor, the VA doctor, they
kind of went away.
We had a tornado.
It was 2008.
We a tornado in our area and I'd been out all weekend
getting oxygen cylinders to people that were on
concentrators, because they have no electricity.
I hurt my back again, and two days later it was sitting at
home, kind of depressed because it kinda hit me hard.
I thought I was back on top, and the sheriff comes to the
door with a foreclosure notice.
I had to declare bankruptcy.
And I always thought that people who declare bankruptcy
are bums and *** bags.
And so I've got that mentality.
So I'm just lower and lower, and then my dog died.
All in 30 days.
And that's when I really, really hit rock bottom.
And I had already been seeing the VA docs, and I just went
in and we worked through it.
I was depressed.
And even with all the issues, I felt I was even-keel, and
then all of a sudden, I just hit rock bottom.
And when I want to the VA doc, I said, I don't
know how to be depressed.
Which sounds kind of stupid.
Who knows how to depressed?
I mean, I'd never had any experience with it.
I've probably been that way for a long time, but just
didn't realize it.
So the last five years or so I've been seeing the
doc's at the VA.
We've got the greatest doctors and social workers and
psychologists around.
I'd put them up against anybody
because they really care.
They're there because they want to be.
Because, let's face it, they could be making a lot more
money in private practice, but they're there because they
want to be helping Veterans.
I have all these tools I was given by the VA docs.
Now I can use them to help other Veterans, and I can get
these other Veterans to the doctors that they need to see.
I'm in no way a counselor.
I'm not doing therapy.
I'm just a guy that's been through it, and I can see it
in their eyes when I talk to them.
And I tell them, I was there a year ago, and
I'm doing good now.
So don't give up.
There's light at the end of the tunnel.
There's people out there that want to help us.
I beg you, get some help.
Regardless what it is, talk to anybody.
Go to the VA.
Go to a County Veterans Affairs rep.
They can get you into the VA system, or they
can get you to somebody.
There's no shame in asking for help.
I learned that the hard way.
I don't want anybody else to go through what I
did to learn it.
No matter how tough, no matter how strong you think you are,
it's there, go out and get some help.