Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Everyone was so sad...that Buster Williams had passed away.
I said 'everyone' that's not quite right but we'll get to that in a minute.
You see Buster Williams was a young man in the prime of his life
and he had died so suddenly and so mysteriously.
But that wasn't the only reason that his friends was sad.
They were also sad because Buster had died
during one of the hottest summers in Texas history,
thought "Hmm-mm-mm, poor Buster, buried in that cheap suit, in that cheap coffin,
"in that shallow grave, 'cause that's all his wife was payin' for."
With that hot Texas sun beatin' down, oh, his flesh was gonna bubble and boil
and when the rats and vermin chewed into that coffin
they were gonna nibble on him like he was some kind of happy meal, mm-mm-mm.
Po' Buster.
But there was one person at the funeral who didn't seem to be sad at all
and that was Jamie Sue Williams, Buster's wife, now his widow.
She sat through the whole funeral like this.
[laughing]
"That fool is dead, that fool is dead."
[laughing]
"That fool is dead."
And after the funeral, that very same evening she went home
she took off her funeral clothes and she put on her hey-ho-hey party clothes.
And she went on down to the Dew Drop Inn, the local dance hall,
and she was hangin' out real tough with Willy,
the piano player, you know what I'm sayin'?
Some of you do and some of you don't and that's okay.
Well, you know, people talked about her.
[as a woman] "Oh, that's not right, she's not supposed to be acting like that.
"Her husband's body's still warm in the ground, that ain't right."
[as a man] Somebody else said, "Wait a minute, wait a minute,
"didn't Buster have a real big life insurance policy?"
Mm-hmm.
Seem like Jamie Sue hadn't felt like waitin' for natural causes
to collect on that life insurance policy.
But Jamie Sue paid 'em no mind.
Every night she was down at the Dew Drop Inn, mm-mm-mm-mm-mm, shakin' it with Willy.
Well it was months after the funeral,
Jamie Sue was in her place gettin' ready to go on down to the Dew Drop Inn.
She put on her red spray-on dress, mm-hmm.
Put on silver high heel shoes just like the kind Dennis Rodman used to like to wear.
And she was in the mirror puttin' on her face when all of a sudden she heard this sound.
[whispering] "Jamie Sue, Jamie Sue, I'm gonna be dancin' with you."
She looked around, she said, "That's Buster's whisper but he dead,
"I'm just hearin' things, I'm just hearin' things."
And she grabbed her purse and she started struttin' on down to the Dew Drop Inn.
Now let me tell you somethin', didn't nobody but noboby strut like Jamie Sue.
When she walked, bam, bam, bam.
Her hips popped so you couldn't walk on the same side the street, she'd knock you over.
Well she's struttin' on down the street, all of a sudden she hears this sound
like somebody draggin' a foot and then that voice again...
[whispering] "Jamie Sue, Jamie Sue, I'm gonna be dancin' with you."
And she looked around but there was nothing there.
But you know what's it like when even though you don't see anyone or anything
you know that there's somebody or something that's lookin' at you.
And she said... [screaming]
And she took off runnin' with them hips, pop, pop, poppin' all the way.
She was knockin' over trees and cars and carryin' on.
She got down to the Dew Drop Inn, the place was packed, the joint was jumpin',
people were whoo, whoo, havin' a good old time.
And after a little while Jamie Sue forgot about
all those sounds and voices that she thought she heard.
'Round midnight people started leavin'.
By about 2:30, 3:00 in the morning everybody was gone except Willy and Jamie Sue.
Willy put the deadbolt lock ...across the door, sat down at the piano,
started playin' those special tunes for Jamie Sue, you know what I'm sayin'.
And Jamie Sue says, "Oh, Willy, you so...oh, Willy."
[chuckling]
"Oh."
[chuckling]
All of a sudden there was a... [knocking] ...knock at the door.
Don't try this at home, I'm a professional.
[audience laughing]
Willy said, "We closed, come back tomorrow."
There was another... [knocking] ...knock at the door.
I said, "We closed, come back tomorrow."
All of a sudden that deadbolt lock... slid open by itself.
And then that door...
[door creaking] ...eeee...
...creaked open.
[audience laughing]
Ain't I good?
[audience laughing]
Willy and Jamie Sue, their mouths, huh, dropped open.
They gasped so hard they just about sucked all the oxygen out the air.
Because there standin' in the doorway was Buster Williams,
or I should say what was left of Buster Williams.
The rats and vermin had been nibblin' away on old Buster.
What little flesh he had left was just sort of drippin' off his body.
He only had one eyeball that was still in his head, the other had...
come on out and ee-ee, ee-ee, dangling there.
He raised the bony flesh drippin' finger, pointed, said,
"Jamie Sue, Jamie Sue, I'm gonna be dancin' with you."
And he started comin' across the room.
Now the reason he was limpin' like that, he only had one foot.
The other foot had been chewed off by the rats
and they were back there in the graveyard playin' stick ball with it.
And as he came across the room all kinds of creepy, crawly things
were crawlin' out of his mouth and his nose and his ears.
And there was little mice inside his ribcage
havin' their own little party, ee-ee, ee-ee, e-ee-ee-ee.
He came across that room, grabbed Jamie Sue by her arm, looked in her eye, said,
"Jamie Sue, Jamie Sue, I'm gonna be dancin' with you."
Now what do you think Jamie Sue did?
[inaudible comment]
[laughing]
She wished.
[inaudible comments]
She screamed. Give me a scream.
[audience screaming]
You've just been grabbed by your supposed to be dead significant other,
there's creepy crawly things creepin' and crawlin',
and I think the smell is a little funky too.
Give me a scream!
[audience screaming]
And Willy just sat there.
[shaking]
Buster started pullin' Jamie Sue up,
Jamie Sue looked at Willy said, "Willy, you got to help me."
Willy said, "I don't think so."
"You better help me Willy."
And he grabbed Jamie Sue's other arm and tried to pull her away from Buster
but Buster looked at Willy with that one eye.
[groaning]
Breathe that old, funky breath on him, gave him a look made his blood run cold,
he let go Jamie Sue's arm like it was a hot potato.
And he said, "Piano man, sit down at that piano and play a dancin' tune."
Now you know Willy did not feel like playin' no piano
but he couldn't help but say, "Oh, ha-he-huh,"
he sat down started jammin' at the piano.
Buster looked at Jamie Sue said, "Dance Jamie Sue, dance."
And she couldn't help herself, she was, mm-mm-mm.
Oh, she was workin' it.
And then Buster started dancin' too if you could call it dancin'
'cause there wasn't that much of Buster left.
[chuckling]
Mice and maggots flyin' every which way.
This went on for a couple of hours.
Willy and Jamie Sue were gettin' tired but Buster was havin' a good old time.
Boy hadn't had any aerobic activity in a while.
One time he spun around arm popped out of socket.
[audience laughing]
Another time he had a James Brown flash of inspiration,
went down did a split, came back up, left one of his legs on the floor.
He had one leg and one arm and he was workin' it.
[audience laughing]
Well Jamie Sue tried to keep from steppin' on Buster's bones but those bones were everywhere
and every time she stepped on one of those bones... it ground into dust.
She got an idea.
She said, "Willy, I want you to play that piano real fast, I'm gonna dance Buster to dust."
Willy started playin' faster and faster,
Buster started dancin' faster and faster on that one leg.
All of a sudden lower leg broke off, he's on his knee bone.
He's workin' that knee, working that knee, workin' that knee.
Then his thigh bone broke off, he's on his butt bone.
He's workin' that butt bone, workin' that butt bone, workin' that butt bone.
Bit by bit Mr. Buster broke off and every time a bit of Buster broke
Jamie Sue would dance on the bones,
did the runnin' man on those bones, moonwalked on those bones.
Some of y'all know about this, did the mashed potatoes on those bones.
[audience laughing]
Until the only thing that was left of Buster was...his head.
And that head was rockin'.
[audience laughing]
Jamie Sue went over to Buster's skull, grabbed him by little hair left on his head,
held that skull up, he looked at her with that one eye and said,
"Jamie Sue, Jamie Sue, I'm gonna be dancin' with you."
And she said, "No, you not, dancin' time is over."
And she took that skull and she rung it around and around and around
and throw it against the wall as hard as she could.
[breathing heavily]
But Buster was a hard-headed individual.
[audience laughing]
That skull hit the wall, hit the floor, rolled back right back to her feet.
"Jamie Sue, Jamie Sue, I'm gonna be dancin' with you."
"No!"
She grabbed that skull and she drop kicked it.
Bop.
Hit the ceiling, hit the wall, hit the floor, blo-bo-bo-bo, right back to her feet.
"Jamie Sue, Jamie Sue, I'm gonna be dancin' with you."
She let out another scream. Give me a scream.
[audience screaming]
Took off runnin' out the door.
Buster's skull started rollin' and boucin' after Jamie Sue
and every now and then that skull would bounce up, say,
"Jamie Sue, Jamie Sue, I'm gonna be dancin' with you."
And that was the last that anyone ever saw or heard of Buster and Jamie Sue Williams.
And that's the end of that.
[everyone clapping]