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Well, Whitney,
you shipped out over there.
I'm sure it's pretty warm.
That really sucked.
It's okay, Clark, just say what you feel.
What's with Clark Kent,
movie star?
Lana's making a video-letter
for Whitney overseas.
Thought it was the least I could do.
Hey, do you wanna give it a shot?
Watch how the pros do it.
The town's still rebuilding after the storm.
The first week of school's a bear.
You're missing the worst heat wave
in 25 years.
Bottom line, stay safe and come home soon.
P.
S.
The football team's toast
without Fordman on offense.
- That was perfect, Pete.
- Yeah, super.
Try not to choke this time.
How about it, Clark?
Wanna try take two?
How about a rain check?
Sure.
Why don't you come by
the Talon later.
- All right.
- All right, see you.
- It's good to see some things never change.
- Chloe.
- Hi.
- Hey, you're back.
Yeah.
Fresh from the wilds of Metropolis
and the Daily Planet internship program.
Pete said you were a big hit.
I thought we had lost you for good.
Well, my dad decided to give
LexCorp another shot
so here I am,
back in the boonies.
I'm glad you're staying.
I really missed you this summer.
Yeah, I could tell by
the voluminous e-mails you sent.
Yeah, sorry.
With the farm and
Don't worry about it, Clark.
It's not a big deal.
Well, I'm really excited to hear
your stories.
Yeah, actually, you know what?
There aren't any stories.
Oh, except that I did meet this really hot
young intern from Metropolis High.
It was great.
He made me forget all about
Smallville for three whole months.
- Oh, great.
- What?
Every year,
the incredibly aged Mrs.
Kowalski
kicks off biology class
with an ancient sex-ed film.
Who told you that, your brother?
My dad.
Well, I'm sure it can't be that bad.
Good morning, I'm Ms.
Atkins.
I'll be your new biology teacher
on health and human development.
I'm really sorry about
the air conditioning in here.
But it looks like we're gonna have
to suffer through this together.
Bring on the pain.
Let's get ready for a movie.
All right.
Everybody try to stay awake.
All members of the animal kingdom,
from the simplest one-celled organism
to the most complex of mammals,
engage in reproduction.
This ensures that each individual creature
can pass on its genetic information
to future generations.
Animals rely on a variety
of courtship methods.
This remarkable reproductive process
is set into motion by the act of copulation
also known as "intercourse" or "coitus.
"
In many species,
the females attract their mates
with chemical scents called pheromones.
Pheromones are used to elicit
specific behaviors
from members of the opposite sex
and are secreted by glands
or incorporated into other fluids,
such as perspiration.
The desired goal of all courtship behavior
in mammals is
Okay, everybody, walk, do not run.
Leave your books.
Let's go!
Lex.
I came as soon as I heard.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You all right?
- I'm fine.
Thanks to this young man right here.
Clark, come here for a second.
He was the only one that
kept a cool head during the entire thing.
He actually put the fire out.
Why am I not surprised?
Clark, once again, I'm grateful.
And I'm confused.
You're right, and I'm sorry.
I'd like you to meet Desiree Atkins.
My fiancee.
All clear, safe to go back into the building.
See you in class, Clark.
Fiancee, huh?
I didn't even know you were seeing anyone.
You sure about this?
I've never been more sure
of anything in my life.
I was gonna have this messengered,
but since you're here
It's a wedding invitation for tonight.
I know it's short notice,
but I was hoping you'd be my best man.
- Lex, I don't know what to say.
- I hope you'll say yes.
Well, I'm surprised.
And honored.
Good.
Better get back to class.
You never know
when the next fire may erupt.
Oh, a wedding present from your father.
So do you want me to sign this?
Well, if you don't,
my father could disinherit me.
Fine.
I'll sign it.
But it's gonna cost you a kiss.
I really wish we didn't have to sign this
on our wedding day.
You're right.
You're the best thing that's
ever happened to me.
I plan on being with you
until death do us part.
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi.
Tell me again your aversion
to air conditioning.
Two words:
Electric bill.
Hi, Clark.
How was school?
It was different.
- Do we like different?
- There was a fire during biology class.
It's okay.
Nobody was hurt.
I stopped it before it spread.
- It sounds like we should be proud of you.
- Except I think I started it.
Wait, you want to explain that, please?
I started to feel hot.
My eyes started to burn.
All of the sudden,
the spot I was staring at burst into flames.
Just by looking at it?
Hello.
Hi, I'm Clark.
I'm the kid who can
lift up tractors and see through walls.
Son, hang on just a second.
What exactly
was going on when this happened?
We'd just met our new biology teacher
and were watching a film.
- An educational film?
- Sex-educational film.
This could get very complicated.
Clark, it's possible
that whatever's happened
has some sort of hormonal connection.
Yes.
Great, so I'm maturing into a fire-starter?
No, son, look
We've just gotta get a handle on this thing,
like we got a handle on your other abilities.
Except all my other abilities
didn't involve things bursting into flames.
All the more reason for you
to give it some time.
- You'll just have to stay close to home.
- Great.
Then we'll figure it out.
I can't.
Why, what's this?
You're not gonna believe it.
- Thanks.
- Cheers.
- Hey, Chloe.
Been looking all over for you.
- Hey.
Really? I'm not that hard to find, Clark.
Only Lex Luthor could put together
a fairy-tale wedding in less than 48 hours.
Look, you seemed a little distant
this morning.
I want to make sure everything's
okay between us.
Yeah, it's hunky-dory.
Now I know something's wrong.
The only
person who says "hunky-dory" is my father.
Look, Clark, I guess I just let
my feelings get the better of me.
But, you know, we made a decision,
and I'm perfectly fine with it.
Me too.
Great.
But I still don't know how I feel about
taking Sex Ed from Mrs.
Luthor.
- I can't believe Lex is married.
- He says he really loves her.
Yeah, well, love is rarely, if ever, logical.
Maybe they just have the right pheromones.
It's chemistry, Clark.
Some people have it, others don't.
Nice smile.
Great.
Quit staring, Clark.
You'll burn your eyes out.
- I was just
- It's all right.
Desiree's attractive, I understand.
Oh, and thanks again, Clark.
Lex, I gotta tell you,
I was a bit shell-shocked.
You go away on a two-week business trip.
Next thing I know,
my mom's finishing your wedding cake?
Believe me, when I left
I had no intention of falling in love.
I was struggling through
another endless business function
when suddenly Desiree was there.
She must have made
quite a first impression.
Actually, she said she'd come to save me.
I thought it was a joke too, that she was
only interested in my name or fortune.
But as the night wore on,
I realized she was different.
It just happened that fast?
You can waste your time playing it safe or
you can go for it.
But at some point, Clark
you just know when something's right.
And Pete's taping all the Sharks games
for you, so you won't miss a thing
though, the way they're playing,
you might want to.
Anyway, I haven't forgotten what
we talked about, so don't worry.
Just come home soon and be safe.
That was great.
Thanks so much for doing this, Clark.
So, what did you and Whitney
talk about, anyway?
Oh, just that he wanted me
to keep an eye on you.
Not that he doesn't trust you
It's hot.
Do you want an iced coffee?
I'm gonna go make an iced coffee.
One of the perks of management,
So, what did you say to Whitney?
Started my message five or six times, but I
can't finish.
There's so much I want to say.
It's not easy being in
a long-distance relationship.
I miss him.
And I'm worried about him,
but it's difficult putting your life on hold.
I'm not sure it was the wisest decision
for either of us.
I get his e-mails.
He's having a really tough time.
First with basic training,
now being shipped out.
He needs someone he can count on.
Besides, I do have you
to look out for me, don't I?
I know I haven't been around much
this summer.
Thanks.
But ever since the storm,
the farm has just been a disaster.
Seems like we're all trying
to find our way back from that day.
Except for Lex.
I've never seen him so happy before.
It's kind of weird.
I'm glad I'm not the only one
who thinks that.
Still, you have to admit, it's romantic.
- Well, Lex makes it seem easy.
- Maybe it is.
Lex learned to act on his passion.
Never hold anything back.
I wonder if we'll ever be able
to do the same.
- Clark, what's wrong?
- Just not feeling so well.
Oh, my God, you're burning up.
Let me drive you home.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
What happened?
I'm gonna call 911.
I'm not sure.
Clark?
- I thought you'd be in school already.
- I'm not going.
It happened again at the Talon.
What, another fire?
It was worse than before.
I was afraid it wasn't gonna stop.
The fire
department said the fire looked suspicious.
- Come on.
- And they're right.
We both know you didn't mean
to start any of these fires.
Dad, Lana was there.
If I'd have hurt her
Look, son
Clark.
Hey, come on.
Clark.
Look at me.
Son, I think I have a pretty good idea
of what's triggering this thing.
All right.
Rule number one:
Always practice away from the barn.
Come on.
I don't get it.
I thought the point
was to stop this from happening.
Well, in order to find the off switch,
first we need to find the on switch, right?
All right.
Now, I want you to remember
exactly what you were thinking about
the first time it happened.
Come on.
- Dad, this might be easier if I was
- Alone.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Thanks.
Lana.
Five scarecrows, two water barrels
and our mailbox later
Dad, you were right.
Once I understood what triggered the heat
I was able to control it
without thinking about
sex.
- You sure about that, son?
- Trust me.
Next time I have a date, I'll be able to
take her out without setting her on fire.
Well, that's a relief.
I'll be fine.
Hey, Clark, you in here?
It's a little hot in here for candles, Clark.
Mrs.
Luthor.
Only at school.
The rest of the time, I prefer "Desiree.
"
I went by the house, but nobody was home.
- Then I saw the light in the loft.
- Yeah, my parents went into town.
Well, actually I came by to see you.
Really?
You see, most girls like older men,
but not me, I like younger guys.
What they lack in experience,
they make up for in passion.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
I saw you staring at me
the other day in class.
I'm sorry, I
No, it's okay.
I was actually flattered.
As a matter of fact, I was hoping we could
work on our student-teacher relations.
You're married to my best friend.
Wait.
I don't know
what you expected here tonight.
But Lex is my best friend.
I'm not gonna do anything to hurt him.
I don't know what came over me.
Please don't tell Lex about this, okay?
I am so sorry.
Oh, so the new Mrs.
Luthor has an alias.
That's interesting.
You know, what would you say
if I told you Ms.
Atkins,
a.
k.
a.
Alison Sanders
showed up at my loft last night
and tried to seduce me?
I'd say you were living the voyeuristic
fantasy of every male student in this school.
Clark, she just married Lex.
Why would
she possibly be interested in you?
Thanks.
Look, she was dissing Lex
saying he was the only thing
standing between her and me.
Okay, this is quickly going from merely
nauseating to genuinely disturbing.
I'm not making it up.
She has some strange hold on Lex.
Gee, I wonder what that could be.
I'm serious.
It's more than the fact that she's hot.
Clark, this is Lex Luthor we're talking about.
Don't you think he considered all of the
unfortunate possibilities before saying "I do"?
I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.
I'm gonna talk to him.
Will you keep digging?
Yeah, sure.
Where there's smoke,
there's fire.
Excuse the aphorism.
Clark, I've been expecting you.
Really?
You can save the awkward silences.
Desiree told me everything.
Lex, I really don't know what to say.
All my life, I've had to second-guess
the intentions of others.
I'd reached the point where I started to
think friends were a luxury I couldn't afford.
Till I met you, Clark.
From the day you pulled me out of the river,
you've been the one person I could trust.
I'm glad you feel that way, Lex.
Maybe that's why I find your infatuation
with my wife so troubling.
My infatuation?
Lex, I don't know what she told you,
but she came on to me.
You expect me to believe that?
Come on, I saw the way
you looked at her the other day.
- She told me you'd been eyeing her in class.
- No, Lex, you have to see this.
Your wife's real name is Alison Sanders.
She grew up in Smallville.
I bet she didn't tell you that, did she?
No.
If she didn't tell the truth about that,
how can you believe?
She's my wife, and I love her.
To be honest, I was hoping for an apology,
not more insinuations.
- I thought our friendship meant more to you.
- It does.
You can let yourself out.
I don't know what you're doing to Lex,
but I'm not dropping this.
I'm sorry, Lex,
that must have been difficult.
Can you explain this?
Clark's right, I changed my name.
But I changed it again yesterday to "Luthor.
"
That's all that really matters, isn't it?
I just don't understand
why you would keep this from me.
You know, it seems to me
that I haven't had a kiss
from my husband in
I don't know, at least six hours.
Desiree, we really need to discuss this.
Clark is part of your past.
Just like everyone else in this town.
You don't need them, Lex.
We don't need them.
Maybe you're right.
So remember, keep your head down.
I'm counting on an exclusive interview
from you when you get back.
- That was great, Chloe.
- Thank you.
Oh, and thanks for the quid pro quo.
Now I can move
the library-gets-a-new-paint-job spread
to page two.
So it must have been fun,
spending the entire summer in Metropolis.
Yeah, it was really nice to get away.
Sometimes a little distance can give you
a new perspective on things you've done.
Mistakes you've made.
Going to the spring formal with Clark
was not a mistake.
Yeah, it was.
I let myself indulge in my
feelings for him, and I ended up getting hurt.
At least you were brave enough
to take the risk.
Oh, yeah, that's me.
Cupid's cannon fodder.
Three months.
I thought I'd be over it by now.
But when I saw him in the hall,
all those feelings came back.
I even made up a lame story
about meeting a guy in Metropolis
to try and get a rise out of him.
Clark still really cares about you, Chloe.
I know.
But he cares about you more.
I don't want Clark
to come between our friendship.
Me neither.
So, what are we going to do about that?
Let's define ourselves by what we do,
not who we date.
Or don't date.
Cool.
Lana.
We need to talk.
I have to get some work done
at the Torch.
All right, see you.
I'm really glad to see you.
I just got the final insurance adjustments.
Once you countersign,
we can get started on the repairs.
Lex, I don't understand.
It's not complicated.
I've decided to invoke the buy-out clause
of our partnership agreement.
This gives me 24 hours
to vacate the premises.
That's right.
I've decided to re-assess
my business relationships.
The Talon's no longer a good fit.
This isn't fair.
The Talon has always
carried its own weight.
Breaking even isn't my idea
of a good business model.
And frankly
I question the judgment of a partner who
causes thousands of dollars in damage
while entertaining friends after hours.
- I was here with Clark.
My faith in Clark evaporated along with
my enthusiasm for the coffee-shop business.
Lana, what's wrong?
- I've just been evicted from the Talon.
- What?
Lex is using the fire to justify
taking back the building.
No, he can't do that.
It wasn't your fault.
He knows that.
He was just looking for an excuse.
People warned me
about doing business with him.
When I saw how hard he fought
to keep the plant open
I actually thought he'd changed.
Lana, you brought the Talon back
from nothing.
It means everything to you.
And this proves it was never really mine.
Hello, Clark.
Lana looked upset.
Did she tell you what happened?
Yeah, she mentioned that Lex
is closing the Talon, and somehow
I think it wasn't completely his decision.
Well, you're right.
We made the decision as a couple.
I wanted to prove a point.
To who? Lana?
No, Clark, to you.
I want you to understand something.
I can control the people in your life.
I had Lex close down the Talon in
a heartbeat.
Imagine what would happen
if I turned him against this town,
your friends
or even your parents.
- I won't let you do that.
You want this to stop?
Then stay out of our lives.
I'm not gonna back off.
And I'll find a way to get through to Lex.
Clark, why didn't you tell us
about this earlier?
I didn't know what to say.
I guess I was embarrassed.
I don't know what we can do about
the Talon.
It's not against the law
to talk your husband into
a bad business decision.
No, but trying to seduce a teenage boy is.
I'm calling the school board
in the morning
and getting this woman suspended.
Yeah.
Ethan.
Come on in.
What brings you out here?
A teacher down at the high school,
Mrs.
Luthor
claims she saw Clark set her car on fire.
That's three suspicious fires
in as many days, Clark.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take you
into custody until we sort this out.
- Mom, Dad, this is a mistake.
- We know.
Clark, I want you to do what Ethan says.
We'll figure this thing out, I promise.
Just turn around, son.
That's right, I'm selling the building
and everything in it.
Talk to our people in Metropolis
about a price and get back to me.
Mrs.
Kent.
I was looking for Nell.
She just left.
I believe she's arranging for the movers.
- Well, I hope I didn't disturb you.
- Mrs.
Kent.
I am truly sorry about Clark.
Are you, Lex?
My son is in jail,
and your wife put him there.
Maybe these fires were a cry for help.
Is that you talking,
or is Mrs.
Luthor talking through you?
I'd never ask you to take sides
against your husband.
Please don't ask me to doubt my wife.
Any good relationship relies on trust,
but there has to be room to disagree.
Like the way Jonathan and I
disagreed about you.
He couldn't see past the Luthor name.
I always thought
you were truly trying to be Clark's friend.
I'm beginning to think Jonathan
was right all along.
Believe me,
I never wanted it to come to this.
You know Clark.
He's not a criminal.
He's the one person
who's stood by you no matter what.
Ask yourself,
is he really capable of this?
I wouldn't have thought so.
- But I know Desiree.
- Lex
you met and married her in a week.
How well could you know her?
Mrs
Oh, hello, Mr.
Kent.
- Are you here to talk about Clark?
- Yes, I am.
And I would prefer to do it fully clothed,
if you don't mind.
Sure.
I'm sorry about your son
Mr.
Kent.
But you should take this as a warning sign.
Your son is a seriously troubled
young man.
And just how do you figure that?
Isn't it obvious?
He starts fires, then he takes credit
for putting them out.
He told me that he was nowhere
near your car, and I believe him.
Your son is lying to you.
I'm sorry.
You know, I thought I could come out here
and reason with you.
But clearly I was mistaken.
Mr.
Kent, wait.
Please, I'm sorry.
You're right about everything.
This all has to do with Lex.
This has got nothing to do
with your husband, Lex Luthor.
I need you to do something for me first.
Sorry we didn't have time
to bake a file into a cake.
How are you holding up?
Besides being accused of
being a serial arsonist
and trying to sleep with
my best friend's wife, I'm great.
We've got good news.
Chloe followed up
on your Alison Sanders clue.
Apparently our *** known as Alison
was popular with the Smallville boys
even as a teenager.
She was with her boyfriend
when the meteors hit.
The Ledger article doesn't say, but let your
mind wander as to what they were doing.
Few weeks later, he lost it and murdered
her parents.
She inherited everything.
Fast-forward five years.
Desiree is now a teacher.
She marries a wealthy executive,
only to see him offed
by one of her moonstruck
high-school students.
- Same confession and denial six hours later.
- The classic black-widow scenario.
Only, after *** two,
this black widow had the misfortune
of being heavily invested in dot-coms.
After she lost the money,
she decided to go after Lex.
So she tried to seduce me to kill him.
Well, why'd she think I'd do it?
- Pheromones.
- Chloe.
Clark, she was in the throes
of major passion when the meteors hit.
If her pheromone levels were enhanced, she
could get a guy to do whatever she wants.
Lucky for us,
Clark Kent seems to be immune
to some members of the opposite sex.
Time's up, girls.
Okay.
Hey, my dad went to go see Desiree.
I gotta get out of here.
Just hang on, okay?
Hold it.
We've gotta get you out of here, Clark.
Stay close to me.
Clark!
We need to talk.
Is something wrong?
I'm not sure.
I know love is supposed to be blind
but since meeting you, I feel like I've lost
all sense of reason regarding my friends
my business,
and suddenly I don't know why.
Well, it's too late for second thoughts, Lex.
The papers have been finalized.
Everything you have is mine.
You only inherit in the event of my death.
Are you planning to kill me?
No.
He is.
I know you, Mr.
Kent.
You're not a murderer.
Please
put the gun down.
I'm not letting you add Desiree's name
to your list of victims.
She's using you.
Whatever she told you,
it's not true.
Dad, don't!
- Dad, you can't do this.
- Clark!
Dad, you okay?
God!
Thanks, Clark.
It's good to have you back.
Well, it's nice to see something
other than jail food.
Well, I just got off the phone with Ethan.
After Lex's statement, the arson
The arson charges have been dropped.
And from what Ethan said,
I think we've seen the last of Desiree.
What about my escape?
Considering your age and the fact
that you did save Lex Luthor's life
they're willing to let you off
with a stern warning.
We're very lucky this time, son.
Did Lex say anything about what happened?
I think we'd both like
to put that way behind us.
And now, Mrs.
Kent,
if you are finished here
I would like to take you out to dinner.
Solo, if you don't mind, Clark.
I don't mind.
Clark.
I was hoping I'd find you.
Hey, Lex.
How you feeling?
Like I'm waking up from a bad dream.
- You really loved her, didn't you?
- I thought I did.
I filed for an annulment, which my lawyers
tell me should be final in a couple days.
I'll let the police deal with Desiree.
- And when that's finished?
- I'll try to be more cautious.
I let my passion get the best of me.
I won't make that mistake again.
Lex, I don't think having passion
is such a bad thing.
You're right, Clark.
Passion for life and work
and friends is great.
As long as you keep it in check.
I should take a page out of your book.
How do you mean?
The way you deal with Lana.
I've always told you to go for it,
but you don't
even now that the quarterback's
out of the picture.
I want to, believe me.
But Lana needs to work out her feelings
for Whitney first.
I can wait.
Don't wait too long.
Hi, Whitney.
I've been trying to get
this done, but it's been a crazy week.
Still, in a way, I'm glad
because it's given me the chance
to think about what I need to say.
- Hey, Clark.
- Hi, Lana.
- Thought I'd help with the repairs.
- Thanks.
Good news is, I think we're
almost ready for our grand reopening.
What's the bad news?
I still can't figure out how to use
the new espresso machine.
Looks very
Italian.
- It's a gift from Lex.
Along with roses and an offer to rework
our partnership agreement
so that this could never happen again.
Lex told me what happened
with Ms.
Atkins and your dad.
It's lucky you were there.
It's funny how she managed
to seduce everyone but you.
Yeah, I guess she just wasn't my type.
And the jailhouse,
how did you manage your escape?
There was a fire.
The sheriff opened
the door.
I just made a run for it.
Three fires.
You were there all three times.
Weird coincidence, huh?
Or just part of the mystery
that is Clark Kent.
How's it going with the tape
for Whitney?
I decided to tell him how I really feel.
What happened to putting on a brave face?
Wasn't fair to either of us.
I haven't been honest about my feelings.
I know it's gonna hurt,
and my timing is crummy
but having a relationship that's built
on secrets and lies is doomed to fail.
Don't you think so, Clark?
Absolutely.
Looks like the heat wave's
finally broken.
I'm glad.
Yeah, me too.
I should let you finish.
Bye, Lana.
Bye.
Whitney.
I care about you very much.
And I always will.
But we promised that
we'd be honest with each other.
And the truth is