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Oh god. Uh.
What the heck happened? Here, get on the bed!
What happened?
I was jumped. >By who? >By goblins.
Goblins?
I got to tell you something. >What? >I was on a quest to find the mystic Porkchop West.
Oh my God, Porkchop West!
But, I guess someone found out about it and they hired a merchant and sent a group out to chase me. (Should have been clearer!!!!!! >:()
Oh, God. We've got to figure this out quick.
Dude, you know white magic, right? Help me out.
That's not what it is. You don't have to touch me. [My little Pony]
Is that My Little Pony music on? >Oh, yeah. >I told you not to put that on! >I'm sorry.
It's Porkchop West. It's Porkchop West.
It's Porkchop West! >Oh, God. (Repeatedly)[Abachea]
I thought he'd be a peaceful man. I thought he'd be a peaceful man filled with joy and happiness. No!
[Bill] Hey! Get back here!
[Abachea] I shouldn't have eaten all those treats.
I want some candy. You better give me some candy!
Hey, hey. Get off him man.
Hey, back up man. Not here. What are you doing, man?
I want some candy. >Dude, dude.
I want some candy! I want some candy!
Give me some candy. Give me some candy!
Give me some candy. >[Abachea] I think this man's crazy. What are you doing? Get out of here man! Oh God. Oh, God no!!!
Oh, God NO!!!!!!!!
Oh, God. >Abachea!
Bye! Escaping from the fools. [Abachea]Bill. ... Bill Bishop. Come here.
{Grunting}
Here, I've got some candy for you. >Give me some candy. >It's on the other side of town. Get out of here!
What's wrong. ...{Mumbling}... Speak up! >My name is Anakin.
What! >It's Anakin Skywalker.
Your name's Anakin Skywalker?
Yes, and you're my son.
{Sighs} I don't know. >Please, don't go.
Don't worry, I'll get you help. Do you need a cold rag on your forehead?
I can't get help. Man, I'm going to die. >What do you need? >I just wanted you to know I loved you.
I'm sorry I cut off your hand. But I did what I needed to do.
Padmé was kind of a jerk. She was very emotional.
What are you doing, sir? I'm not feeling too well. >You need to get ahold of yourself right now.
Abachea. Settle down.
I know being stupid can be, you know, tiring.
That's why I got you an oatmeal cookie. It'll help you out! It's an oatmeal cookie!
I think this is a cream puff.
A what? {Mumbling] Oh, whatever, I'll have it.
A what? {Mumbling] Oh, whatever, I'll have it.
I want it. No! Grr! Open up! I wnat that cookie! Give me my- open the- cookie!!!!!
Did you seriously eat a sweet in front of Porkchop West, yet he's not killing you.
Did you seriously eat a sweet in front of Porkchop West, yet he's not killing you.
[Terror]
[Screech, crying]
Ah, ahh, uhh. [Grunting]
[Crying]
[Crying}
Pop-tarts! I need a Pop-tart!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you about the sweets, man. >[Abachea] Oh, God.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you about the sweets, man. >[Abachea] Oh, God.
You better give me that cookie!
That was the last snack we had. It was the last one! AHHH! >You better get out of here.
No.
Spare him!
Eh! Eichh! Oh, God. >NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >He's not a man. [Abachea]
Let him go!
Don't hurt my friends. [Abachea]
Oh, God. Gotcha!
Porkchop! We're friends, okay. Not enemy. Are we clear?
[growling] Give me candy.
I guess that's a "YES".
I'm going to take you out.
You know what? We play a little differently anyway, You're going back to start, you suck.
AHHHHHHH! [Bill] NO! [Abachea] Oh, God.
Well, it looks like we can't play a game with Porkchop West.
{Laughing}
{Indefinite speech}
UUUUOOOOAAAAHHHH!!!!
I think that's enough for today. On the next episode of Porkchop and Friends:...
He's hypoglycemic. What?
Coming soon.