Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Brain: no, no.
Those mouse-alopes aren't real, you fools.
A Broadway musical of the titanic.
Ha! No.
No, Joyce DeWITT? You can't be serious.
Papier-mache? No! Stupid! Stupid! Brain.
Stupid! What? What is it? You were having a bad dream.
Yes.
Oh, it was horrible, Pinky.
I was dreaming that I was a mouse bent on global domination, and all my plans were humiliating failures.
Ha! That's ridiculous! That's absurd! That's-- oh, wait.
That's true.
Narf! Yes, always.
But in my rem-state ruminations, I have come to a profound revelation.
Ooh! Pretty words all sparkly.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Please focus, Pinky.
Pretty please.
You see, I have discovered that there is one thing that all my plans have in common.
You mean Maury povich? Besides him.
I'm drawing a blank.
[Humming] See? Ow, my head.
The common thread in all of my failed schemes is human stupidity.
People are just too stupid to accept me as their leader.
Narf! It's too bad you can't make people smarter.
That's brilliant.
Huh! It is? Absolutely.
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Hoo.
Oh, I'd say the odds of that are terribly slim, Brain.
True.
I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering? To my knowledge, never.
Exactly.
So what are the chances that this time I'm pondering what you're pondering? Next to nil.
Well, that's exactly what I'm thinking, too.
Therefore, you are pondering what I'm pondering.
Poit.
I guess I am.
And do you know what else I'm pondering, my friend? I think I do, Brain.
We are going to make everyone on earth smart, smart enough to accept me as their leader! Oh! That's exactly what I was pondering.
Really? Yes! Um, no.
Actually, I was thinking of serving corrugated cardboard for thanksgiving dinner.
Nummy.
Ha ha ha ha! Eh, not even close, was I? Double ow.
Do you know what this is, Pinky? The talent of the spice girls in liquid form? Close.
This is an extract of the medulla stem piney nut.
When combined with these other ingredients and then consumed, it can quadruple one's I.
Q.
Narf! Narf, indeed.
Now all I need is an unintelligent subject to test it on.
Um, Maury povich? I gave Maury the day off.
Here, Pinky.
Drink this.
Hee! [Cultured accent] Oh, my.
What an interesting taste sensation, my dear Brain.
Say what? The extract has triggered an autonomic salivary response.
Quite unusual from a biophysical perspective, eh, what? [Hiccups] It works.
Yes! Now nothing can stop us from taking over the world! Egad, Brain.
To take over the world, all you need to do is-- is--is yes? Yes? [Normal voice] Let the balloon people free! Hoo hoo ha ha ha! Apparently, the effect is temporary at this low dosage.
I'll increase the medulla stem piney nut in the next batch.
Then we'll free the balloon people! Hooray! Yes, Pinky.
That will be our first proclamation once the world is ours.
Super troz! Pinky: you know, Brain, now that we have the recipe to make people smart, how will we get them to eat it? How do you get anyone to eat anything, Pinky? Put it on top of a pizza.
Voila! "Wolfgang Brain's pizzas of the world.
" Zort! Oh, great idea, Brain.
And I already have the advertising campaign figured out.
Buon giorno.
[Italian accent] Wolfgang Brain here, and I-ah have for you a pizza that will change-Ah the world.
And I-ah mean that quite literally.
Then we shall mass-Produce the small microwavable pizzas and sell them for exorbitant prices at trendy supermarkets.
But what if sales are sluggish? Simple.
We shall seek celebrity endorsements for our product.
The masses want whatever celebrities want.
To that end, I shall open a trendy, celebrity-friendly theme restaurant-- Brain: planet Brain.
But, Brain, where are we going to get the money to open a restaurant? From our celebrity partners, of course.
Do we-ah have a deal-ah, partners? Ja.
Yo.
Yippie-Ki-oh-Ki-ay! Yes! Yo-De-lay-he-hoo! Hoo hoo ha ha hoo! Hello, everybody.
I'm midtown Junie green, in Hollywood at the spectacular opening of planet Brain.
I'm here to get the inside dish.
Get it? Dish! [Junie laughs] I don't get it, Brain.
Consider yourself fortunate, Pinky.
But just look at all these celebrities.
They've embraced planet Brain as their own.
Success will soon be ours.
Wow! There's movie superstar Bryce Wallace onstage serenading the standing-room-only crowd at the show-biz event of the moment.
Oh, yeah well, all right, now, baby oh, yeah, yeah, yeah oh, baby oh, baby oh, yeah, oh, baby, baby, now baby, yeah, yeah, yeah oh, baby triple ow.
[Oven dings] The pizzas are ready, Pinky.
Let's serve 'em up hot, then take over the world! They finished eating, Brain.
Yes, and their I.
Q.
s have more than quadrupled.
It is time for me to go take my place as their rightful leader.
And along the way, Brain, could you take this order to table 23? They wanted extra crispy.
From now on, Pinky, I don't take orders.
I give them.
Da-- huh?! Testing.
1, 2 hey, look.
Who's that? The chef.
Shh.
Greetings.
You have all just had your intelligence elevated to levels never dreamed of in the history of humanity.
For this, you may thank me, the Brain, the world's greatest genius.
And by now, something has surely become painfully obvious to all of you.
That guy should never be allowed to sing in public.
Man: he's right.
Woman: oh, my god.
He's right.
Get him off! [Crowd yelling] Get off the stage! Did you hear that, Pinky? These people are smarter already.
Actually, my friends, what has become so obvious to all of you is that-- you're a mouse.
Well, yes, that's true.
A mouse! Disgusting! No! You see-- ew! Vermin! [Crowd murmuring] It's obvious that-- yo! Unsanitary! I should be your leader! Call the exterminator! I demand full remuneration! Brain: yah! [Crowd yelling] [Brain sighs] I guess we used too much medulla stem piney nut.
Our pizzas made the people too smart.
True, Brain, but are you pondering what I'm pondering? I think so, Pinky.
It's time to return to the lab so we can plan for tomorrow night.
Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night? The same thing we do every night, Pinky-- try to take over the world! Oh, right.
Is that what you were pondering? Mmm, no.
I was pondering that it's time to set the balloon people free! Whoo ha ha ha! Aah! [Laughing] [Screaming] Brain: quadruple ow.
Ooh! A new record, Brain.
Congratulations! Zort! Ha ha ha ha-- [Whack] Uhh! Oh, baby, ooh, yeah well, all right, oh, baby, baby, yeah yeah, they're dinky they're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain oh, yeah [Laughs] warner bros.
Captioned by the national