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The Vatican Leaks scandal is in full force and this time the leaks in question aren’t
just ***. Leaked memos from the pope and other top Vatican
officials, published in a new book, show evidence of corruption, croneyism, and infighting about
obeying anti-money laundering norms. The Vatican called these leaks “criminal”
and vowed to take legal action against those responsible. This relaxed the guilty wistleblowers,
who were likely expecting to be murdered. This week they announced who they believe
did the wistleblowing: (Clip) The Butler did it:
(Clip) AP confirms this week that paul Gab was the alleged mole feeding documents to
Italian journalists, in an apearant attempt to discredit the pontif’s number 2.
And we all know the pontiff is full of number 2.
(Clip) If the leak allegations are true there is no known motive on why Gabriella might
have passed on the documents> Maybe being an actual Christian? stand up
for the little guy… by exposing systematic corruption? Probably not.
In addition to the butler an unidentified cardinal may also be involved…not that one.
What’s the significance of the leaks coming from someone so close to the pope?
(clip)That he could be involved in what most people see as one of the most significant
acts of betrayal in Vatican history of particular concern to the pope and to the Vatican.
YEA! Like what if he really starts talking?! (clip) the pope is said to be pained that
someone in his domestic household had betrayed him -
ahh, always a victim, never a perpetrator. He actually refered to the crisis during mass…
(clip) dear friends, we must live by the spirit of unity and truth
well, YOU MUST…. Not so much me. Truth of Christ, transmitted in the church,
Yes! Be SURE it’s the truth of Christ AS TRANSMITTED BY THE CHURCH. If you read what
Jesus said yourself we’d have no way to get your children, I mean money, I mean your
children’s money (bleep dad a dad a dadadada- temporarily experiencing tech difficulties)
My hat is made of gold. Outside the Vatican, several hundred protesters
gathered, not because of this scandal but because of the other scandal brewing at the
Vatican; No not that one-
Nope, Nooooo noth that one… Ok I’ll just tell you:
PROTESTERS gathered to demand that the Vatican come clean with information about the disappearance
of a 15 year old girl who, according to a veteran priest of 50 years, was abducted for
use in one of the Vatican’s Sex parties. That’s right ONE OF.
(excuse me while I vomit) Following a tip on where the body might be,
Italian forensic police exhumed the corpse of Mobster Enrico De Pedis, who, oddly enough,
is buried in a Vatican cemetery, a supposedly sacred place reserved only for church elite.
The Vatican won’t comment about why a notorious gangster is buried next to bishops, cardinals,
and popes, but they did refer us to their newest PR Campaign:
What happens in the Vatican Stays in the Vatican.