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We know what we're doing, so remember...
The Alamo!
No... Don't try this at home!
Hello, and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
And I'm your chimney sweeper, Riley McIlwain.
Jory: (singing) Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-cher-oo, these are some pipe cleaners, I'm going to microwave them for you!
I'm gonna put them in my microwave!
For ME?! Why for me? Do it for them!
*theme song plays*
Jory: It smells like victory!
Jory: All hands to the deck!
Jory: Nobody likes roasted nuts!
Jory: Let's get outta here!
Jory: Ventilation is key!
Jon: What're you doing?! Put that out!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Jory: The masks- they do nothing!
Riley: The tin foil shield- it actually worked!
Jon: Does it still work?
Jory: You're dumb!
Jory and Riley: 2.6!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory, safety... What are you doing?!
Riley: Cleaning!
You know, we have a tin foil shield for that, to protect our nuts! And nobody likes roasted nuts!
Riley: Where do you see nuts on my face?
On your chin!
Riley: ***!
Jory: (laughs) These were donated by NoNameRockBand. Let's go and microwave them!
*futuristic whooshing sound*
We also have these fans, to circulate the air, and, for this episode, our Sharp carousel microwave, Cinnamon.
Jory: She dances, too! And she goes around, right 'round, baby!
Jon: Like a record, baby!
Jory: So, let's throw those pipe cleaners in there. Yeah, right in the middle... Aw, that's beautiful! Beautiful! Okay!
Jory: How long should I put it in there for? Maybe, like, two minutes?
Jory: Okay, let's do this! Let's go!
Jon: Get outta there!
Jon: WOW! Holy crap!
Jory: Wow! That is really funky! It's like jumping jacks and just... That burnt really fast!
Jon: Holy...! That's just Christmas on the Fourth of July!
Jory: Pipe cleaners? Awesome!
Jon: This is, like, the greatest thing since the CD! Look at that!
Jory: It's like a mixture between a CD and AWESOME!
Jon: Do you see all of the little, tiny sparks flying?
Jory: These are sparklers!
Jon: Look at that! That's great!
Jory: These are awesome!
Jon: Alright! Go, pipe cleaners!
Riley: Wow! I'm impressed!
Jon: (to Riley) You didn't think they were gonna do anything, ***!
Riley: (in silly voice) It's Saturday Night Live!
Jon: (in same silly voice as Riley) It's a bunch of pipe clean... Oh! I'm having a stroke!
Jory: I dare say that this is a ha bisky idea!
Jon: Oh, yeah! This is great! (singing) Havin' a good time in a microwave! Pipe cleaners! Pipe cleaners!
*Riley does scat along to Jon's melody*
Jon: Do you guys see the shadows?
Jory and Riley: Yeah!
Jon: That's really cool! Aw! Now, it's just a smoldering pile of ash! It almost burned itself completely out of existence!
Jory: Let's stop it...
Jon: Fans on! Let's go in there and check it out, fellas! (hums "Green Acres" theme)
Jory: Wow!
Jon: All we have left is, like, just a little metal... It looks like barbed wire!
Jory: Oh! It's COILED wire! Oh, 'cause that's how they get the little fringe stuff on there. That's awesome! That's why it did so much cool stuff!
Jon: Kaboom! Ha bisky! It's like a cancerous tumor forming!
Riley: (in silly voice) There I am!
*Jon makes caveman-like grunting noises*
So, you saw the flames, and you're probably thinking, "Not a good idea." You're WRONG! That was a HA BISKY idea!
Fourth of July? I wanna see everyone outside with microwaves just filled with pipe cleaners! 'Cause that was cheaper than sparklers, cooler than sparklers, and there was fire there, too!
Jon: Yeah, and no real consequences!
And you can't burn yourself if you aren't holding it! But that's about it for this episode of "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
Riley: Can you feel it? Can you feel it?!
Until next time, viewers!
*end credits play*
*Jory hums melody of "In the Mood" while Riley claps along to beat*
That's a really dirty song! Have you ever looked at the lyrics for it?
Riley: What song?
THAT song.
Riley: What is the song?
It's, like, "We're gonna [beep] tonight!" Basically, that's the lyrics!