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Things didn't work out. As always.
My longest relationship has been with chronic gastritis.
That's the comment I make every time my relatives ask me about my girlfriends when I stop taking them to family meetings.
They all laugh. I think that if I hadn't ever been born my family would have missed out
on many jokes like that one. Another joke they really like is the one of
the guy who goes to his therapist with his dog. And the therapist says:
"We don't allow dogs here". And the dog says:
"But, doctor, I feel my owner doesn't understand me when I bark at him.
That's how I feel about relationships; like a talking dog who can only bark at his owner.
He loved to sit down and observe people. He was an observer of the world. A silent ***.
He had always felt he had too much to say about what he saw, but didn't exactly know
how to say it. Until he started writing. Writing freed him of his inhibitions. Every thing
he wanted was possible. He could sit down and watch everyone else and say whatever he
wanted about them. He even found himself like-able. Funny even. He had once seen a couple-
Hi
Hi
He should have known by then
Shall we?
I was... do you remember my friends... the ones collecting signatures for the liberation
of Tibet?
Sure, the Tibet ones.
Wanna go eat?
Sure, but... could we go somewhere kosher?
What?
I know what you're gonna say, but I think I want to be Jewish now.
What? Are you insane?
He should've know better. She never supported him.
What the hell's wrong with you?
I know, I know. But I think it has to do with my dad. You know, since he's such a Catholic.
Well, I felt it was the best way to rebel.
Your dad isn't-
Yeah, just picture it: "Dad, there's something I need to tell you...". It's like saying I
play for the other team. The team that killed his god.
Andrés, listen to yourself.
She always wanted me to listen to myself, but she never listened to me.
Andrés, what are you talking about?
And I can't say I was only dating her for her looks, despite how cute she was. But I
certainly wasn't going out with her for her wits.
Excuse me?
Could we go to that deli around the corner?
What deli, there are no delis in this town.
The poor child, if only she knew that there was another woman in my life.
WHAT? Andrés, who the hell are you talking to?
To you, sweetie.
Don't you "sweetie" me, what do you mean another woman?
It was only a matter of time before I was busted. The late night escapades. The shady
messages. She should've known what she was getting into. The mistakes of the father are
always repeated by the child. Although she thought I was wrong. That I could be redeemed.
Like Dante's Beatrice; chaste, pure... well, not so much.
I'm saying this for your own good, not only for me, because I hate seeing you like this.
And because I'm sick of this whole deal.
Could you believe this was what I had to bear with?
Andrés, you are not *** Allen, and if you go on like this, I think it's best if we stop
seeing each other.
No, no, you can't leave me. What am I going to do? Well, I'd go to more museums, and I'd
definitely write more, since i don't have to be dragged to those inane Marina Abramovic
screenings.
Marina Abramovic is a genius! How can you say that? People love her!
People loved Hitler! That's a common misconception. The fact that somebody loves you doesn't stop
you from being a wreck. Your parents love you...
You're a-
Relax. I'd say things with women get better, but that wouldn't be honest of me.
But there's got to be one that tolerates me. I'm not even asking for her to love me.
What is this? Is someone helping you with this?
You were always so skeptical; that's what you get when all you do is read Nietzsche.
And when your early education doesn't consolidate guilt and religion into you.
Andrés, who is this?
But, in the future, am I so worried about death?
It's all more or less the same. Taxes are higher and food gives heartburn. The point
is that women will never understand you.
You could say it's my- well, our- lot in life?
Undoubtedly.
Don't worry, honey, it'll all be better tomorrow.
Don't worry, honey, it'll all be better tomorrow.