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This caregiver tip is called You're Being Watched.
Now, keep in mind you and your patient, your loved one, your care-recipient, will be spending
more time with each other than probably ever had before, and why you think you know each
other? You are going to find out that you do not know each other nearly as well as you
are about to.
So what is very, very important is your patient, your care-recipient, is going to be watching
you like a hawk, like never before and you are going be doing the same thing.
Now the key is to maintain a positive demeanor because if you show negativity, that just
gives up one more thing to worry about. They do not need that. They need to focus on their
medical malady. You need to focus on keeping them strong.
So I offer three suggestions on what you can do to keep yourself from being watched in
a negative way. First off, start your day on a happy note. Make sure that when you wake
up in the morning, there is a smile on your face. This is going to sound really corny,
forgive me, but it worked for us.
Every single morning that we were in the hospital and also at home, the first thing I did is
as soon as I opened my eyes up and my wife had to wake up, is I played the song called,
"Don't Worry, Be Happy," by Bobby McFerrin, and I put it on loud and it woke us up and
for whatever reason, my wife would smile, I would smile, the nurses that would come
by the room, they would peek their head and say good morning with a smile because they
knew that is how we are starting our day.
It is a very upbeat song. If you have a song, use that, but no matter what, start your day
on a high note. That really helps. And if you are being watched by your patient and
you are starting with a smile and a happy song - that starts them the same way.
Point number two - you know what, body language is an amazing thing. Seventy percent of all
language that is read is body language. Now think about this, your patient is in many
cases, unable to do a lot of things for themselves that they used to do and now they are asking
you to do it. What is the number one thing that we sometimes do?
And I was guilty; this just can be. You roll your eyes! You roll your eyes and what message
does that send? It sends that you do not want to be doing this or this is bothersome. So
what is the patient going to do? They may climb up and may not ask you for help the
next time, and there are lots of signals that your body gives off from head to toe.
You might want to learn what they are, so you can learn how to control them so that
your patient does not see you are visibly upset or visibly angry. There are lots of
things you can learn about body language.
Number three - very, very important - you are in a room with the patient; many times
if you are in the hospital room and your patient, your loved one is an inpatient, you may be
there for a while. There were times when we were there 11 to 14 days without a break.
You can imagine what that feels like. It could feel like being a prisoner.
My suggestion is this, and especially if you are at home taking care of a patient or your
loved one, and you need to take a break, take it. Get out of the room, have time to yourself,
give your loved one time to herself as well or himself as well - whatever it may be, but
find opportunities to take breaks from each other.
And if you are not sure that you are comfortable with that because you feel like you have to
be on top of everything, then maybe you might want to buy baby monitors. Yes, that may sound
strange, but if you buy baby monitors then that is going to provide you with an opportunity
to hear the patient, hear your loved one whenever they need anything or if they just speak your
name, you take the other monitor in your room with you, whatever room you are in, or even
outside, and you will hear it. You could rush into the room and take care of your loved
one.
And you know what, a lot of them transport outside so you could be outside, and my suggestion
is try to get outside whenever you can. It makes a huge different in changing your mood,
change in the scenery makes a big difference.
And why is all this important? Well because when you go back into the patient's room,
you come back with a smile on your face, ready to help out anyway you can.
So those are my three recommendations as to what you can do to make sure that when you
are being watched, it is in a very positive, positive way that your patient sees you.
*****
Hi, my name is Rob Harris. I am a caregiver to a two-time cancer survivor. I am an author,
a caregiver affiliate, a speaker, and a coach. I have a book coming out July 2012 called
We're In This Together: A Caregiver's Story. You can find it on my website at www.robcares.com.
Have a great day!