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So here's what you missed on Glee:
Kurt's in New York
where he's rooming with Rachel
and planning to interview
for Vogue.
com.
Rachel's friend,
Brody, totally wants
to date her, but she's still
confused about Finn,
and Finn's still in the army,
and nobody's heard from him.
- Glee!
- Back at McKinley,
Mr.
Schue's trying to repeat
a win at nationals
by repeating assignments from last year.
- Are we doing Britney week again?
- That's great.
And Sam's new blonde besties with Brittany,
who didn't graduate and thinks
she's still president even
though all she accomplished last year
was a dinosaur prom.
That's what you missed on Glee.
All right, Blaine Anderson,
time to change things up.
Last year, it was all
about letting the seniors shine.
But this year
it's your turn.
Welcome to your life ♪
There's no turning back ♪
Even while we sleep ♪
We will find you ♪
Acting on your best behavior ♪
Turn your back
on Mother Nature ♪
Everybody wants
to rule the world ♪
There's a room
where the light won't find you ♪
Holding hands while the walls
come tumbling down ♪
When they do,
I'll be right behind you ♪
So glad we've almost made it ♪
So sad they had to fade it ♪
Everybody wants
to rule the world ♪
Of course, part of the reason
I'm doing all these extracurriculars
is to fill my days
now that Kurt's in New York.
We talk and Skype and text
as much as possible,
but the only time we're really in sync
is when we're hate-watching Treme together.
These songs go on forever,
and why isn't there more zydeco?
I can't stand
this indecision ♪
Married with a lack
of vision ♪
Everybody wants
to rule the ♪
Say that you'll never,
never, never, never need it ♪
One headline,
why believe it? ♪
Everybody wants
to rule the world.
♪
What do you think you're doing,
Blaine Warbler?
I'm running for president.
I've spent the entire
weekend trying to choose
the absolute perfect outfit because
I've snagged an interview at--
drum roll, please--
Hi, I'm Kurt Hummel.
Vogue.
com.
Yes, it's just for an internship,
but I haven't been this nervous
since I auditioned for NYADA,
and we all know how that turned out.
I'm meeting with the new senior editor
and designer extraordinaire.
Isabelle Wright,
and her stellar reputation precedes her.
She's a style maverick.
She double-majored
in fashion design
and dead romance languages.
- An iconoclast.
- Rumor has it,
She gave Steve Jobs
his first black turtleneck.
She's Vogue's rogue.
Miss Wright will see you now.
Hello?
Columbus.
- Excuse me?
- You're from Lima.
I'm from Columbus.
And actually,
I once got
food poisoning in Lima
at some Italian place,
It was Bread
- Stix?
- Breadstix, yes.
I can't believe you ate
at Breadstix.
Well, I wish I hadn't.
Isabelle Wright.
Kurt Hummel.
So, Mr.
Hummel,
I have to tell you,
I am very impressed
with your online resume,
especially this gallery
of you
and your rather bold
clothing choices.
- Where did you find all this?
- Well, I.
.
I made most of them,
And searched the
Internet for bargains.
And, uh, that half-sweater there
at the bottom, that belonged
to my dead aunt, and I
found it in her attic.
And the embroidered calico vest
was actually inspired
by one of your designs.
Oh, yes,
my quilted micro skirt
collection.
It was an epic fail.
But like you said
in Vanity Fair,
"I don't trust anyone who hasn't
failed big at least once.
"
Have a seat.
So, I'm just gonna ask you
a couple of routine questions
I ask all potential hires.
Who are your fashion icons?
Audrey Hepburn,
Michelle Obama,
and not to kiss up or anything,
but you.
And have you done
any writing on fashion?
Self journaling, mostly.
I did weekly updates
and, um, blogs on Project Runway
since season one,
- and
- Wave your magic wand,
Where would you be
in four years?
Working here part-time,
graduating from NYADA
and, uh,
starting
my first Broadway show.
I know that sounds
presumptuous.
No.
Frankly, you should be
more presumptuous, you know?
This is New York;
It's for dreamers.
It's for people like you,
who are just starting out,
and people like me who
very much want
to re-invent themselves.
No, you should dream.
You should dream very, very big.
And then you should work
incredibly hard
and make sure you do everything
in your power to make it happen.
Look, Anna hired me
because she said
that the Web sites
that I designed
for my collections
were inspired.
So neither myself
nor my team
can let her down,
and that includes you.
- Me?
- Well, listen,
My friend, anybody who can
pull off a hippo brooch
deserves to be here.
So welcome to Vogue.
com.
Thank you.
Thank you so
- Oh, you're very welcome.
- Sorry.
It's okay.
It's okay.
That should come
with a warning.
Oh, it did.
Artie, can I talk
to you for a second?
Okay, so I'm running
for senior class
president again, and I
want you to be my VP.
Being vice
presidential pick
of McKinley High's
first two-term president
would look really good
on your college resume.
I have a 4.
0 GPA,
and I scored a 210
on my practice SAT,
and I was the only
handi-capable member
of a national championship
glee club.
I'm not really worried
about getting into college.
I know how people like you are
afraid of the spotlight sometimes,
but did you know that Franklin
Roosevelt was part robot, too,
- and he's on Mount Rushmore?
- No, he isn't.
And I'm just going
to say it again,
- I'm not part robot.
- I realize
That I didn't do much
as president last year,
and if you help me
win again this year,
I promise to do exactly
the same thing, which means
I'll be president, and you can
make all the boring decisions.
So I could be Cheney
to your Bush.
I'd rather be landing strip.
I mean, it's no secret
that a woman
loves a man in power,
and don't take this personally,
but before I graduate,
I would like to have
a relationship that lasts longer
than a couple weeks.
Why would I take
that personally?
- You and I dated.
- We did?
Look, you've got
yourself a deal.
Cool.
Okay, as you all know,
as national champions
we get to host the annual Show
Choir Rules Committee meeting.
Please tell me you're gonna ask
what 1/3 vintage meant last year?
Or like, why some teams get
to sing six songs
and other ones only do one?
Speaking of competitions,
shouldn't we start like,
preparing for ours?
I have some ideas
which I am working on very hard.
Um
I don't really want
to give anything away
right now
I have no ideas.
I'm tapped out.
I spent all last weekend
trying to think of something
for us to perform,
and all I came up with
was a scat version of "Carmina Burana.
"
- Yes, go ahead.
- Excuse me, I'm not sure if what
You were saying was actually
important 'cause I wasn't listening
but I'd like to
make an announcement.
First, I'd like to know
if anyone can prove that Blaine
was actually born
in this country.
Second, I'm wrapping up
the election
by selecting Artie
as my running mate.
Ah! All right.
I think by bridging
the human-slash-robot
divide, we'll ensure
that both students and vending
machines will be voting for us.
- Still not a robot.
- Brittany, that's not fair.
This isn't a popularity contest,
it's about who's
got the best ideas.
It's about believing
you can make a change, right?
What is that taste
in my?
Is that sour grape?
Brittany.
- Hey, butt-chin.
- Hey, Sue.
I'm making a list
of potential themes
for our set list
at sectionals,
and right now I can't decide
between classic TV theme songs
or a salute to autumn.
William, those are terrible.
I don't know
what's wrong with me.
What happened
to all my good ideas?
Oh, don't kid yourself; you
never had any good ideas.
You just didn't notice
because you were too busy
chasing your bizarre
childhood dream
of a glee club
national championship.
And now that that's over,
well, you're waking up
to the incessant
mind-numbing tedium
that is the day-to-day life
of a schoolteacher.
Take a look around
you, William,
at this sad panoply
of walking human garbage.
This is what you have
to look forward to.
In a few short years,
you'll either be an alcoholic
morbidly obese
or both.
That's what I like to call
the Full Charlotte Rae.
Personally, William,
I think you should take
this opportunity to
bow out gracefully
and explore other job
opportunities.
Now, your penchant for
bland, simplistic aphorisms
could give you a leg up
in the motivational hot-air
balloon poster business,
and of course,
your complete lack
of adult friends
means you're well on
your way to a career
as a *** birthday clown.
But I love my job.
William,
you had a dream,
and you achieved it.
Now move on.
Otherwise,
you'll end up like that.
Quietly smirking
because you just did
a little crop-dusting.
Oh, and now you're enjoying the
sneaky tickle of your own stink
as it ripples up your
enormous, soupy butt crack.
Hey, why didn't you ask me
to be your running mate?
I'm like the
perfect candidate.
Well, I didn't want it
to ruin our friendship.
I mean, look at Sarah Palin.
She and her grandfather,
they were super close,
and then he asked her
to be his running mate,
and they lost, and now
they're not even speaking.
But I do think you'd be
a great vice president,
so I'm going to help you out.
Come here.
Blaine Warbler?
I'd like to introduce you
to Sam Evans.
Um, we've actually met
several times.
He's your candidate
for vice president.
Uh, no.
I'm picking
my own running mate.
My family's on food stamps,
so that will
get you the sympathy vote.
I'm not gay,
so that'll help
with the not-gay vote,
and you know,
I don't want to brag, but
(imitates George W.
My impressions are hilarious
It's George Bush, come on.
Okay, sure.
Awesome.
First order of business,
Artie and I challenge you
and Sam to a debate.
You're on.
What's a debate?
I think it's time
we tackled something
that we have been avoiding
for far too long,
and I think you all know
exactly
what I'm talking about.
Leather
Leather,
but in unexpected ways.
Pitch me.
Okay, it's coming to me.
It's coming to me.
It's Italy.
Saló, 1944.
Belts as punishment.
Belts as reward.
"You can't have a belt!
You: put a belt on!"
It's faux-fascist.
It's pair it with a chunky
boot.
Okay, belts were two years ago,
and chunky boots
were five years ago.
While we're on the topic
of the verboten,
I would beg all of you
to please, please
not offer up a leather platform.
Chase, you know I love you,
and I and I love
that you're filled
with so much passion,
so I'm definite
I'm going to
I'll keep thinking
about it, of course.
Okay.
Um Daphne.
Leather socks.
Suede underpants.
Cowhide brassieres.
Daphne, did you go
off your meds again?
Yes.
Then I want you to stay off
because that is sick.
I mean good sick.
That's the
that's the kind of sick
I want you to be.
You know, that's exactly what
I'm talking about, everybody.
I don't want any rules--
just toss them.
You know,
let's think out of the box.
Or maybe I don't know.
Maybe that's maybe that's
too far out of the box.
Okay, why don't we do this?
Let's, uh we'll
we're going to take a
a little break,
and then we will
we'll revisit the topic
of leather, okay?
Kurt, can I can I see you
in my office?
So, what did you think
of the ideas in there?
Fascinating.
I hated them.
Look, I-I know I'm
just an intern,
but I feel like
"unexpected leather"
should be in the back pages
of The Village Voice.
No, I know, I agree, but Mand
Mandy, you know,
the receptionist,
every time I walk
by her, she suggests
that I do an article on
trends in animal hide.
And then her cat died.
Did you know her cat died?
So, what, am I
going to say no?
- So now I'm stuck with leather.
- No, you're not.
There are a million
different ideas.
Uh, we could do a music
video that pays tribute
to the most cutting-edge
fashion, right?
Well, I told Chase Madison
that I would do his piece
on Spanx for cankles:
"Spankles.
"
Oh, God.
I'm an artist,
not a manager.
I I can't say no to anybody.
I can't bear it.
You know, I'm
I'm used to knocking on doors,
not bolting them shut.
Back in the day, if I had
an idea-- a crazy idea--
I knew if it was good
based on my instinct.
And now crazy ideas
just seem crazy to me.
You know, like, uh, uh
uh, high-heeled galoshes or, um,
equestrian underwear-- what?
And I can't
I can't land anything.
I just feel
like I lucked
into a job
that I don't deserve, and I
honestly, I-I-I
I have no idea
what I'm doing.
My collection was a failure.
I can't fail at this.
And I just rented
a one-bedroom apartment
in Midtown
so I could walk to work.
But now I'm not going to have
a job to walk to
or an apartment to walk from.
I'm going to be homeless.
Hey, hey.
You are not
going to be homeless.
All right? You can
always come stay
with me and my roommate
in Bushwick.
Oh, God.
Brittany, I just got a copy
of Jacob Ben Israel's
latest presidential poll.
The good news is 90%
of respondents said
they're planning
on attending Friday's debate.
That's cool.
So what's the bad news?
they were coming to hear you
say something
st stu
They think I'm going to say
something stupid.
But, see,
you're not stupid.
You're really creative.
Your brain exists in this
magical other dimension
where anything
is possible.
It's really amazing.
We just need to focus on
a little preparation.
If I'm going to be
completely honest,
I'm a little worried
that my picking you
as a running mate is going to
seem like a desperate grab
for the straight vote
if you don't really look
like a serious candidate,
you know?
What do you mean, pilgrim?
- Was that John Wayne?
- Yeah.
I panicked.
Okay, listen.
When's your next
free period?
I need you to meet me
in the costume shop.
Brittany S.
Pierce,
how do you react
to the characterization of
your first term in office
as one in which you didn't do
anything at all until prom?
I would describe that
as entirely accurate.
Okay.
Test scores at McKinley
have gone down
six percent every year
for the past decade.
- What would you do to fix the problem?
- Stop giving tests.
They're hard, and there's
way too many of them.
What is your favorite color?
Filipino.
They're very hard workers,
and family
is very important to them.
You know what?
Let's talk wardrobe.
Oh, make me over ♪
I'm all I wanna be ♪
A walking study ♪
In demonology ♪
Hey, so glad
you could make it ♪
Yeah, now you really made it ♪
Hey, so glad
you could make it now ♪
Oh look at my face ♪
My name is might have been ♪
My name is never was ♪
My name's forgotten ♪
Hey, so glad
you could make it ♪
Yeah, now you really made it ♪
Hey ♪
There's only us left now ♪
When I wake up in my makeup ♪
Have you ever felt
so used up as this? ♪
It's all so sugarless ♪
***, waitress ♪
Model, actress,
oh, just go nameless ♪
Honeysuckle,
she's full of poison ♪
She obliterated
everything she kissed ♪
Now she's fading ♪
Somewhere in Hollywood ♪
I'm glad I came here
with your pound of flesh ♪
You want a part of me ♪
Well, I'm not selling cheap ♪
No, I'm not selling cheap.
♪
Okay.
First off, I'd just like to say
what an honor it is
to have been asked to lead
the annual
Show Choir Committee meeting.
- Which of these snacks are gluten free?
- I guess the carrots are.
Did it state so on the package?
Because you do not want
to deal with me
- if I've got gluten in my system.
- We really need
- to get started, Mr.
Rumba.
- What?
- We really need to get started.
- Well, why didn't you say so?
I did-- several times.
Well, I didn't hear you.
You know I have complete
loss of hearing
- in my left ear-- scarlet fever.
- Uh, Birdie,
You had mentioned you
wanted to discuss
some of the redistricting
bylaws.
I've been doing some research,
and it turns out
- in Article 12
- I'm so bored.
What is wrong with me?
This is what I've always wanted.
I won Nationals.
I'm I'm in charge of this committee.
But it feels so meaningless.
Do all teachers feel this at some point?
When Regionals occur
in a leap year
Oh, this is pointless!
I didn't know how
to tell you guys
- but my glee club lost its funding.
- Oh, my God.
We're done.
We can't even
complete the season.
I know that everybody likes
to make fun of the deaf choir,
but my kids have a song
in their heart; they're not
going to be able to sing it.
For some of them,
it's the only thing that brings
them any happiness.
It's the only thing
that brings me
any happiness
besides my extreme couponing
and muscle relaxers.
I'm so sorry.
- Is there anything we can do?
- Yeah.
You can watch your back,
because you're next.
We're all dead.
The money for the
arts has dried up.
What we need is representation
on that blue-ribbon
government panel to get arts
- back in the schools.
- There was a huge debate over that in Congress.
Oh, they don't care about us.
They don't want
to have anything to do
with show choir directors;
They want bigwigs
like Meryl Streep
or Demi Lovato.
Maybe they'll take
a show choir director
who just won Nationals
and wants to make
a difference in this world.
- Go for it.
- Highly unlikely.
I'm going to have
a shame Triscuit.
I don't care
if I have to spend
all night
on the potty.
Yeah, I swear it.
It was like a deleted
scene from The Exorcist
that was cut because it
was actually too scary.
- Oh, chilling.
- And then I tried
I tried to be, like,
nice and, you know, smile,
but then the black swans said to me
I didn't know Lena Dunham
was joining us today.
I'm sorry, but did I do
something to offend you?
Your outfit did.
It's at least
a decade away from even
being considered
for ironic-retro.
It's a tragedy
What Not to Wear
doesn't do
two-hour specials.
You know, part of why
I was so excited
to come to New York
was because
I thought it
would be a chance
for me to start over,
reinvent myself.
I had no idea that it
was going to be
so exactly the same.
- You know why you feel exactly the same?
- Hmm?
Because you're still
dressing exactly the same.
We're not in Ohio
any more, Rachel.
And even then,
it's not like we were on trend.
I hate to say this, but
life is like high school.
Styles and clothes determine
the pecking order.
Well, I don't know
what you expect me to do.
It's not like I can afford
an entire new wardrobe.
Who says you'll have
to pay for it?
Put down your chopsticks
and follow me.
I got an idea.
It's almost midnight.
What are you
talking about?
I'm about to change your life.
And maybe mine, too.
Oh, my God, this is crazy.
- Take a picture of me.
- Come on, quick, quick, quick.
Check this out.
This is unbelievable.
Wait, I'm scared.
Don't leave me.
Oh, my God.
I can't even breathe.
They call this
the Couture Vault.
It supposedly
can withstand a nuclear blast.
Okay, I'll set up
the camera.
Freeze!
- Kurt.
- Oh, uh I thought you were going to be
At dinner with Steve Buscemi
and Yoko Ono.
Well, they canceled again.
What are you doing here?
And who is that?
I'm Rachel Berry--
I'm Kurt's roommate.
He
We were going to do
a music video for the Web site.
- He adores you.
- Rachel was going to get a makeover,
And she was going to model
some clothes.
Stop, stop.
Stop, stop, stop.
You had me at "makeover.
"
Someday ♪
When I'm awfully low ♪
When the world is cold ♪
I will feel a glow ♪
Just thinking of you ♪
But you're never fully dressed
without a smile ♪
Oh, it's lovely ♪
With your smile so warm ♪
And your cheeks so soft ♪
There is nothing for me ♪
But to love you ♪
But you're never fully dressed
without a smile ♪
Who cares
what they're wearing ♪
From Main Street
to Saville Row? ♪
It's what you wear
from ear to ear ♪
And not from head to toe ♪
Lover ♪
Never, never change ♪
Keep that breathless charm ♪
Won't you please arrange it? ♪
'Cause I love you ♪
Remember,
you're never fully dressed ♪
Without a smile ♪
Ba da-da, ba da-da ♪
Ba da-da,
ba da-da ♪
Ba da-da-da ♪
Bum-bum-bye ♪
You're never fully dressed ♪
Without a smile ♪
Lover ♪
Never, never change ♪
Keep that breathless charm ♪
Won't you please arrange it ♪
'Cause I love you ♪
But you're never
fully dressed ♪
Without a ♪
Smile ♪
Smile ♪
Smile ♪
Just the ♪
Way you look tonight.
♪
- And that was just the rough cut.
- No, it's genius.
And Rachel looks so gorgeous,
the whole looks so
like, professional,
like a real fashion video that
you'd seen on TV or something.
So what's the next step?
Well, uh, ideally
the dream would be that
Isabelle would see it,
and love it, and then
put it on Vogue.
com.
But I mean, she's already committed
to so many other concepts that
No, Kurt, of course she's going to
choose yours.
She's gonna pick yours.
And then, after
we made over Rachel,
Isabelle took us to this place
called Gray's Papaya
and we had guava juice
and hot dogs.
- Wow.
- It was amazing.
You're hanging out with fashion
goddess Isabelle Wright.
And I'm running for
Student Body President
with a former stripper.
Oh my gosh, I forgot about that!
How's it going?
It's going okay.
But, um, I did want to
ask you what bow tie
you thought I should wear
for tomorrow's debate.
I have narrowed it down to five,
but mainly I have
Bow ties are your signature,
whatever you choose is
gonna look great on you.
- Hi, Blaine, we miss you!
- Oh, Rachel says hi.
Oh, hi, Rachel.
By the way, one more question
about the video.
That scene where she plays
the East Village It Girl--
did you think that was too much?
No, it's I don't know.
Oh, good, good, good.
'Cause I
didn't either, but she was
a little skeptical.
But I said she was very
Chloe Sevigny chic, right?
- Yeah? Good.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
And then, oh my God, I found
this sweater in the vault
that was to die for!
Hi.
Hi.
I know I don't have an
appointment, but, uh
I really needed to speak to
my guidance counselor,
and not my fiancée.
Well, please have
a seat, Mr.
Schuester.
Mr.
Schuester.
As you know,
all I've ever wanted
was to make a difference.
Change people's lives.
Make them better.
I'd like to think that
I've done that in my time here.
- Mm-hmm.
- Winning Nationals,
Seeing most of
the kids graduate.
Right, you have a lot to be proud of here.
But now I have this once in a
lifetime opportunity in front of me.
- A chance to make a difference
on a whole new level.
- Okay.
So they're they're assembling
a blue-ribbon panel
to improve arts education
around the country.
I filled out the application,
but I haven't sent it in yet.
This looks amazing.
If I were to get this
I would have to leave
McKinley for several months.
Paid for by the District,
but I'd be away from the kids.
Oh.
Um Okay.
I You know we've been telling
these kids for years
to follow their dreams
no matter what, so
Yeah.
I'm not going to tell you
to do the opposite.
I just don't want to do
anything to jeopardize
this-this new life
we're about to begin together.
It's not gonna
change a thing.
Okay? Weddings can wait.
You have to apply
for this position.
And if you get it,
we will cross that bridge
when we come to it.
Together.
Attention, miniscule segment
of the student body.
Principal Figgins
is out this week,
with what he describes as
religious fever.
And I am forced
to moderate these proceedings.
Hey, dude, uh,
now that you made me over,
- can I give you some advice?
- Yeah, sure.
- Lose the bow tie.
- What?
Yeah, trust me,
it makes you look uptight
and a little like a young
Orville Redenbacher.
Just take it off.
Okay.
You know what?
Actually, it's
you're actually right.
- Thank you.
- There are two new utterly disheartening
wrinkles to this year's
absolutely pointless contest.
First, the horrifying fact that
this year's slate of candidates
consists entirely
of Glee Club members.
And secondly,
the inexplicable introduction
of a vice presidential field
for no discernable
reason whatsoever.
Separation of powers!
Whoo!
So let's meet these
second-tiered losers.
You know them as
the *** and the gimp.
Artie Abrams and Sam Evans.
Stumbles, my first
question is for you.
Who, in God's name,
gives a hot, wet, steamy dump
about student government?
I do.
And I think everyone
in this room should, too.
First of all, student government
isn't just a way for us to pad
our college résumés.
It's a way for us
to take an active role
in our own education.
Study after study shows
that an active student body
is a successful student body.
Okay, moving on.
Student government
is just the beginning.
We need more
after-school programs,
and better-qualified staff
to support
our teachers, who are
overworked and underpaid.
- Oh, dear God.
- And that's just the beginning.
I want to talk about the
cafeteria, 'cause I believe
at the beginning of every
year to see if
enough to support
our brain activity
That's one of the many goals
I promise to reach
by the midway point
of my first term,
as outlined in my 96-point
Pierce-Abrams Road map
To Restore McKinley's Future.
Merciful sweet Jesus,
thank you.
Sam Evans, your response?
I wasn't really listening.
Whatever Artie said,
I agree with that.
Our next question
is from the Twitter.
@HungrySouthMouth
asks Sam Evans,
"Rumor has it you were a
stripper.
Aren't you ashamed?"
No, I'm not.
In fact
- Whoo
- Shake that ♪
Students at this school
have every right to be angry.
Last year's student council,
led by my opponent,
was the most ineffectual
in a generation.
Brittany S.
Pierce,
in her last term,
accomplished absolutely nothing,
except plan
a dinosaur-themed prom
and ban the use
of hair gel.
Ladies and gentlemen,
telling anyone what
they can or cannot
put into their hair
is disgusting.
It's the first step
towards tyranny, my friends.
Next thing you know,
they'll start burning books.
And then they'll probably
start burning people, too.
That's a lie.
This tyranny all
ends today, McKinley.
I want to offer you a change.
And I am that change.
Let's make history, Titans.
And vote Anderson-Evans.
Thank you.
Sweet, simple Brittany.
What say you?
Uh
I love you.
I love you so much,
McKinley High School.
Simple as that.
In fact
I think that everyone
should love this school
as much as I do.
If you elect me as president,
I promise to outlaw
summer vacation,
so we'll have school
all year round.
That means we'll spend every day
of every summer indoors
with all our friends,
in McKinley High School's
award-winning air conditioning.
Also, I promise to end
McKinley High School's
policy of having weekends.
If you make me your president,
Saturday and Sunday
will be illegal,
so that Monday will
come right after Friday,
which is the funnest day
anyways.
Vote Brittany and Artie.
Thank you so much.
We just lost the election.
Kurt, can I see you
for a minute?
You might want to
sit down for this.
I saw your video,
and I forwarded it to Anna.
Am I fired?
That is the first time
that I've heard
"great" from Anna.
I am gonna print that
and frame it.
Does does this mean
- they're gonna put the video on the Web site?
- Sort of.
We're gonna reshoot
the whole thing
in Bali with Karolína Kurková,
but you're getting credit
- for the idea.
- Oh, my
Oh, thank you,
thank you so much.
- Thank you.
- And thank you so much
for helping out with Rachel.
She went home that night
and threw away
her reindeer sweater,
which is a huge deal for her.
Ah, she already seems so much
more confident, you know?
It's so funny how
a new image can
change everything.
Oh
I sure hope you
never lose that.
What?
Oh, just your
unbridled, wide-eyed,
Lima, Ohio optimism.
You know, I had an instinct
about you, Kurt Hummel,
and so far,
it's proven to be correct.
I feel like we're real
kindred spirits, don't you?
I agree.
Can I please just say that
I think you're the best-dressed
fairy godmother
an intern like me
could ever have?
Well, then, can your
fairy godmother
give you a little
bit of advice?
You have quite the
aptitude for fashion.
And I know it's your
dream to go to NYADA,
but sometimes
dreams can change,
and I really would not
be surprised if someday,
every A-lister in this town
was fighting for
one of your designs.
So which "leather" pitch
are we running with?
Oh, actually,
you know what?
We're gonna toss the whole thing
and start from scratch.
We're gonna meet
here in two hours.
Oh, and, um
Kurt will be joining us.
I'm famished.
Let's go to Indochine.
Wow.
Hm.
You look incredible.
They say that you haven't
settled into New York City
until you've had
your first makeover.
Mine took six months.
Oh, really?
Like you need a makeover?
Every girl in school
wants to date you.
True.
But four years ago,
I was a scrawny kid
from backwater Montana,
with a bad haircut
and a unibrow.
And seniors took me
under their wing,
introduced me to waxes
and the gym,
- and they changed my life.
- Yeah.
It's pretty amazing what
a good makeover can do.
It's like you
change the outside,
and then the inside
just follows.
I think it's
the other way around.
I think now your outside
has caught up to how
you feel about yourself.
Hmm.
I like that.
I like you.
So what are you
working on?
Just a new number.
I like to do
something every day,
just to keep
my machine well-oiled.
Oh, me too.
I love that song.
Do you, uh
want to sing it with me?
Ten years living in
a paper bag ♪
Feedback baby,
he's a flipped-out cat ♪
He's a platinum canary
drinkin' Falstaff beer ♪
Mercedes rule
and a rented Lear ♪
Bottom feeder, insincere ♪
High-fed, low-fat pioneer ♪
Sell the house
and go to school ♪
Pretty young girlfriend,
daddy's jewel ♪
A change ♪
A change would
do you good ♪
Would do you good ♪
A change
would do you good ♪
I think a change ♪
A change
would do you good ♪
Would do you good ♪
A change would do you good ♪
Good, good, good it'll do-do ♪
Good, good, good
it'll do-do-do ♪
Whoa whoa-whoa ♪
Whoo! ♪
Whoa ♪
Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
I think a change ♪
A change would do you good ♪
Would do you good ♪
A change would do you good ♪
I think a change ♪
A change
would do you good ♪
Would do you good ♪
A change would do
you good ♪
Chasing dragons
with plastic swords ♪
Jack off Jimmy,
everybody wants more ♪
Scully and Angel on
the kitchen floor ♪
And I'm calling Buddy on
the Ouija board ♪
I've been thinking 'bout
catching a train ♪
Leave my phone machine
by the radar range ♪
Hello, it's me,
I'm not at home ♪
If you'd like to reach me,
leave me alone ♪
I think a change ♪
A change would
do you good ♪
Would do you good ♪
A change
would do you good ♪
Hello, it's me,
I'm not at home ♪
If you'd like to
reach me, leave me alone ♪
I think a change ♪
A change
would do you good ♪
Would do you good ♪
A change would
do you good ♪
I-I think a change ♪
A change would
do you good ♪
Would do you good ♪
A change would
do you good ♪
Would do you good! ♪
That was amazing.
You're amazing.
What are you doing
tomorrow tonight?
I want to cook you dinner.
Attention, students:
Your record-low election votes
have been tallied,
and we have a winner.
Becky, can I get
a xylophone flourish?
No? Not feeling it?
Okay.
This year's Student Council
President is
How do you do?
How you doing?
- Congratulations, Mr.
President.
- Thank you, Artie.
Losing the bow tie, that was
your game changer-- kudos.
No hard feelings.
Maybe I can find a place
for you in my administration.
No, thanks;
I got what I needed.
Sugar asked me
out on a date.
She invited me horseback riding.
I'm just hoping it doesn't
involve being towed.
- You talk to Kurt?
- Uh, yeah, yeah.
He was super proud of me
and he's really excited.
He's already planning
a whole inaugural ball.
Well, congratulations.
Thanks.
You know,
I have not stepped foot inside
a Manhattan movie theater
since the bedbug scare.
And this is a fact:
They prefer to lay
their eggs in couture.
That's true.
Who wouldn't?
I'm not lying.
What's the
last movie you saw?
The last
Ooh, you know what?
The last movie I saw was
a double feature.
It was, um, Unmarried Woman
and The Red Balloon.
You weren't bored.
No, no,
I wasn't even
That's okay.
There's the man
of the hour.
You all right?
You know, it didn't hit me
until right now:
I came to McKinley
for Kurt-- that's it.
And now he's gone, and even
with Glee Club, it just
I feel really,
really alone.
You're kind of killing
my party buzz, bro.
I'm sorry,
it's just that
I did all of this for him,
I did all of this for him.
And now he's not here.
And so it just kind of feels
like none of it matters.
Of course it matters.
You're McKinley's
"First Gay Guy President.
"
Nobody cares about that.
Look, before you, Kurt was
the first gay kid I met.
Don't get me wrong,
he's great,
but I just don't really
get his Bravo jokes
or the fashion thing
or Broadway.
You and me, it's different,
you know?
I never had a gaybro before.
We'd be like
Wolverine and Cyclops,
you know,
show people how we're
cool with each other.
And you know, if you ask me,
that's what matters.
Thanks, man.
You're right.
But just so we're clear
I'm Wolverine.
I'm
I said it first.
Congratulations,
Blaine Warbler.
Thank you, Brit.
Cool.
Congratulations to you,
Mr.
Vice President.
The people have spoken.
Can I let you in on
a little secret?
I like secrets.
I voted for you.
What?
Thank you.
I would've voted
for you, too,
but I-I just
really wanted to win.
I know losing sucks,
but you know,
sometimes it can be
a good thing.
Look at Al Gore.
He lost an election,
then he won an Oscar.
He did?
You think so?
I don't know how
you do it.
What?
You just always know exactly
the right thing to say.
It's a gift.
You win.
I can't believe
I'm about to say this,
but I'm taking Sue
Sylvester's advice.
I mailed in the application.
Congratulations, William.
I think it's
the right decision.
Yeah.
There's only one problem.
I need a written recommendation
from a colleague,
and I was thinking
I'm one step ahead
of you, butt-chin.
I took the liberty of
composing a letter
to the Arts Governing
Board outlining
your astonishing
accomplishments.
"Not only is William a direct
descendant of Harriet Tubman,
he delivered my infant child
with his bare hands"?
Sue, Sue, this isn't even true.
Well, what can I say, William?
I want you out of here.
And for the first time, I think
I mean that in a good way.
Oh, my God
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh
Wow.
You're smokin'.
Oh, it's actually the duck.
No, no.
It's, it's you.
Come in.
I really wanted to cook you dinner,
but this is what
you get.
- This is, this is good.
- Pizza.
Food is food.
It's, it's
the effort that counts.
A girl has never cooked
me dinner before.
I don't believe you.
No.
No one has ever even tried.
I'm trying new things.
Doing new things,
it's all part of
you know, the new me.
And I like it.
I like, I like the new me.
I've never been the
cook-a-guy-dinner type.
I've always been the just
annoy-a-guy-for-a-year
until-he-finally-
gives-in type.
Well, tell, tell me
about this old Rachel.
- Tell me a secret.
- A secret?
Something that you don't want
anyone else to know.
Okay, but you first.
- Okay.
- Think of something very good.
- Okay, so, um, when I was a kid
- Mm-hmm.
- I was obsessed with Ace of Base.
- No.
Yes.
I was-- seriously, I had
the posters on my wall.
Wait.
I thought you said
you were straight.
Oh, come on.
Hot girls playing all
their own instruments
is straighter than straight.
Moon river,
wider than a mile ♪
Thank you.
You're welcome
Your turn.
My turn, okay.
Um, I have a good one.
When I was eight years old,
I got my first love letter
from a guy named Tony.
And he was very cute.
And when he gave it to me,
I corrected all
of the grammatical errors
and his spelling errors
and gave it back to him.
That's so embarrassing.
I've never told
anybody that before,
not even Finn.
Well, just so you know,
no matter how lovely this is,
I'm hands-off.
Just friends.
We're after ♪
The same ♪
Rainbow's end ♪
Waitin' round the bend ♪
My huckleberry friend ♪
Moon river ♪
And me.
♪
It's Kurt.
He keeps forgetting his keys.