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Previously
Whose baby is this?
Think the girls are asleep?
We can be quiet.
Go on, open it up.
Happy anniversary, babe.
It's been a year.
God, I'm sorry.
I'm not good at this stuff.
I had a fight with a man
friend guy friend.
Boyfriend?
Mom and dad are here.
You're in trouble.
I believe your daughter Grace
is experiencing signs
of generalized anxiety disorder.
When I get nervous, I act out
with inappropriate *** touches.
It's like Tourette's.
Xanax.
My life's in shambles.
That's a secret.
Don't Mess with the Nurse
This is better than the bus.
Okay, you have sprinkles
in your hair.
Yes, I do.
All right, messy girl.
It's time for you to walk.
You're a mess.
Hold on a second.
Let me get your face.
I can't be late.
We do saints first thing every morning.
- Yeah?
- Yesterday was St.
Lucy.
She plucked out her eyes,
but she could still see.
Then she died, but god gave her
prettier eyes in heaven.
That's a good story, sweetie.
***, shoot!
- Honey, I'm sorry.
You can't eat that.
- I wasn't done!
I'm sorry.
There was a bug on it, OK?
A dead bug.
I'm sorry.
Mommy owes us a dollar
for her bad word.
God! All right.
I'm sorry.
Let's go.
Jesus christ!
- Mommy!
- Mommy!
You got your lunch?
- Yeah.
- You have your phone?
Only for emergencies,
not for texting.
Okay, baby, love you.
- Bye!
- Bye!
Have a good day.
Been on his bathroom floor
for three days.
Temp's 103.
Weak and dehydrated upon arrival.
BP is low.
Starting him on fluids.
That's why you get the free flu shot.
Put him in 2.
There's no more room
at the Inn Mary.
- Already?
- And we're completely out of 2x2's.
You don't smoke in here.
No se puede fumar acqu�.
We're four nurses short.
Well, you are.
I'm fine.
This is the 2nd time this week.
What the hell?
Budget cuts.
Well's dry.
They got a *** zen garden
in their boardroom,
- and I am four nurses short?
- It's a plant.
- Whatever.
They suck.
- I got you one temp.
That's the best I could do.
Discharge these.
Why do you have 3 wallets?
Honey, let me.
I know where it is.
Let me look.
Jesus, Alexandra,
this is really expired.
- We need your insurance card.
- We know.
I'm looking.
This is Sam.
He's from St.
Vincent's.
He's yours till 6:00 tonight.
If you need anything,
ask her, not me.
Good luck.
OK, just press F8.
No, F8.
It's one key.
You know what?
You discharge these.
I will do that.
Okay, you having any dizziness,
Mrs.
Greenfield?
- Are you blurry?
- No, I can see you very clearly.
You see, this town car
ran into me on the FDR
and it pushed me off the road.
I just wanna go home and lie down.
You don't go home
and lie down after a head injury.
That's how people end up dead
on their couch.
OK, so I watched this amazing program
about miotic pupils.
Well, it was about the whole eyeball,
but still, did you know
We're four short.
I need you to stick
with every patient I throw at you
and follow up with them
as if you are me.
So I'm on my own?
Stop smiling.
The last time you were on your own,
you gave Dave-the-addict 6 Percocets
for a nonexistent broken finger.
He cried every time
I made him bend it.
Drug seekers come in here
all the time.
You like pupils so much,
make sure you're checking them.
I will, believe me, because the pupil
tells you everything you need to know.
I tell you everything
you need to know.
We are way too busy today
for you to be a pushover.
OK, who in here is in so much pain
they can't raise their arm?
Put them at the bottom of their list.
We have about a 3 hour wait.
Drug seekers, waste of time.
People,
see this.
This is what we're talking about.
Okay, blood pressure is 140 over 90.
Is it always that high?
You have a very nice jaw line.
My word!
Thank you.
So we're gonna wanna make sure
there's no fluid in your abdomen.
Lord, I'm wearing Spanx.
We don't need to poke around, do we?
We're in a "no poke" zone.
You're going in for a cat scan.
- That seems a bit excessive.
- Are you on any
other medication besides Boniva?
A blood thinner Coumadin,
Diovan for blood pressure
and last week she had a reaction
to gingko *** my sister bought her.
That is not true.
You keep making that face and
that wrinkle's gonna become permanent.
You can't use your phone in here.
Doctor, it's fine.
It's just this cut.
Well, let's get you some Lidocaine
and stitch it up.
Excuse me.
One hour, 10 patients.
Okay, let's take a look.
- It hurts when I sit up.
- Let's lay you back down.
Lay you back down.
- There!
- Does that hurt?
Yes, please, stop!
Why didn't you tell Dr.
Cooper?
He's busy.
I didn't wanna disturb him.
I'm getting a scan.
It'll be fine.
Mom, you should have told him.
He's a doctor.
Are you biting your nails again?
Any problems?
- Thank you, sister.
- Okay.
We're not sleeping here again tonight,
you little ***.
I'm not kidding.
I have something
that belongs to you.
Melissa!
You didn't need to leave work.
I got Amy's message
and I couldn't get a cab.
My god.
Your head.
Look at you.
Is that a new dress?
Excuse me.
My mother has a gash on her head.
Are you a model?
Can you please tell them where to get
cup of coffee so I can finish with her.
I'll just wait outside.
Whatever Mom wants.
I want you to stay right next to me.
Melissa, when he comes back,
I want you to meet Dr.
Cooper.
Amy, did you notice?
No ring.
- Mom.
- Momo.
- Yes, ma'am.
This way, ladies.
- I'll see you later.
"Bathed in wheelchair in hallways.
"
"Bathed in wheelchair in hallways.
"
What is this, a haiku?
I gave the patient
a bed bath and now
he's sitting in a wheelchair
in the hallway.
OK, why don't you write that down?
Page Dr.
Cooper for me now please.
Here, okay? Great, thank you.
Now go wait over there
in the waiting room.
For ***'s sake.
Turn that *** thing off.
Follow me.
It's been beeping for half an hour.
That's about enough of that then,
isn't it?
Has this young man
checked on you recently?
No, he hasn't,
and I can't swallow all these pills
without a big glass of water.
I asked him for a big glass of water.
Done with cat scan.
I paged Coop 6 times, no response.
It's Mrs.
Greenfield.
If you see him,
we're supposed to send him up.
Sir, if you don't get everything
you need in the next 5 minutes,
this man over here
is gonna pay you $50, okay?
Here, I need you to time him.
I know I'm pretty, but you just wasted
- On a scale of 1 to 10.
- I don't know.
Ten being the most painful.
One being tolerable.
Don't exaggerate.
Tell the truth.
What are you really doing here?
What are you looking for?
He has a fractured fibula.
Get him to ortho
and give him some Vicodin.
Have you taken any medication today?
Painkillers?
If I had any painkillers,
would I be in here *** crying?
***!
I have, like, two more questions.
No, you cannot leave.
Bruce from radiation gave me
- I've never seen it that close up.
- I need you here.
You're cute
when you're ruining my life.
You want to jump in here maybe?
Check a few bags, turn a few beds?
I don't jump in.
Can you give me half an hour
so I can eat something?
- What are you, 7? Don't grab.
- Why is everyone looking for me?
C.
T.
paged you 6 times
for Mrs.
Greenfield.
I paged you 3 times.
She had negative labs and ultrasound.
I stitched her up and got her a scan.
- Everyone needs to get off my back.
- I'm not asking you where you were
or why you can't follow
an instruction
like keeping your pager on
during the workday.
It's a technique I'm trying
for the inappropriate *** touch.
I have an idea.
Take your hand and put it like this.
And then you put it like this
and you answer your *** pager!
Christ!
Honey?
Mommy,
I can't breathe.
Just relax.
Hold on.
If you're talking to me,
then it means you can breathe, OK?
- So, I'm an *** and you're right?
- Can you come get me?
It's an emergency.
Your tough nursing act may work
with your patients, but not on me.
- Don't push me around.
- Fine.
It's an emergency!
- No, sweetie.
- You're on the phone.
When all these helpless patients,
they need you to save them
- from my horrible judgment.
- Shut the *** up! It's my kid.
- You have a kid?
- I'm right here.
Of course I will stay on the phone
with you, honey.
I can't.
Sweetie, honey,
please stop crying, please.
You're OK.
- Do not walk away from me.
- You were scaring me a little.
So, yes, I have a kid.
That is my private life,
and I wanna keep it that way.
All right, Jackie, fine.
I won't say anything.
I'm sorry.
You're the kind of person
who's above gossiping.
- I knew that the second I met you.
- I swear I won't.
Yeah, you swear.
Hand to god to ***.
*** off, Jackie.
*** off!
I'm not gonna say anything
about your secret kid.
My mom didn't take out
a 2nd mortgage
to put me through medical school
to talk *** about nurses.
I don't give a *** about your life.
It's not that interesting.
I'm a doctor, okay?
I'm a *** doctor.
Kevin, hi.
- Grace had a panic attack at school.
- What? ***!
You gotta go there and pick her up.
I know.
- Okay, babe, all right.
- I mean it, you gotta go right now, OK?
You're supposed to wait
for transport to move him.
I can do it myself.
Well, smell you, Nancy Drew.
My god! Are you okay?
What?
I just rolled a huge man
over your foot.
Didn't that kill?
Flashlight tag.
You're it!
Thanks for meeting me.
And on my day off no less.
I am marvelous.
- I've ordered for us.
- Great, thank you.
I could've met you at work.
God, no, I had to get out of that place.
I was going batshit.
We are four nurses short,
and then Grace freaked out at school.
My word.
That calls for a cigarette.
Please don't tempt me.
They let you smoke in here?
They're too afraid of me
to tell me not to.
Gracie called me.
She's sobbing, she's crying,
couldn't catch her breath,
thought she was dying.
I can't stand it
when she cries like that.
I called Kevin.
This whole thing
is scaring the *** out of me.
And *** you off apparently.
You seem a bit angry at her as well.
Angry?
No, I'm not angry.
*** me.
What kind of mother gets angry
at her kid for crying?
Then Coop finds out I've a kid.
So she has a kid.
Yeah, that's I mean
I know.
I'm not big on gossip,
but I mean, come on.
- Chopsticks?
- No, thanks.
So she just told you this?
I was being a *** and then
she started yelling at me,
so I started yelling at her about being
on the phone and then she tells me.
Crazy.
This is wrong.
They gave me the wide noodles.
No, that's right.
- You got chow fun.
That's chow fun.
- ***! It is?
***!
My day's ruined.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I guess I don't know maybe.
I think I make her worse.
I really do.
Whenever there's tapping
and puffing and muttering,
it's terrifying.
Slow down.
Eat your gnocchi.
I'm not a bad mother.
I think I'm a good mother.
You know, I try.
I don't know what it's
she's so afraid of,
- what she's so anxious about.
- All right.
Do you want me to be
a doctor or a friend?
For ***'s sake,
will you be my friend?
All right.
It's not Grace I'm worried about.
Excuse me.
There's no smoking.
Forgive me, Dr.
O'Hara.
Smoke away.
Seriously, you don't know
anything about her.
We shouldn't even
be talking about her.
She's a very private person.
Clearly.
You wanna be one of those doctors
that spreads rumors about nurses?
That's a rough road to go down.
Keep it to yourself.
Don't be an ***.
I'm not an ***.
You're the only one I'm telling.
We're friends, man.
Why do you have to put
your feet up on everything?
- Somebody is in here.
- Sorry.
Sorry.
Haven't had time to go.
I'm dying.
Don't worry, I didn't see
your wagutti or anything.
Zoey, you can't talk to me
while you're peeing.
You eaten anything today?
Yes, I had two Luna bars.
So
I think that temp
is on something,
like a lot of *** or Halcyon.
Zoey, you never narc
on another nurse
unless you are absolutely sure.
His pupils are contracted, glassy
and non-responsive to the light
I shined directly in his eye
after I rolled over his foot
with a large man
on a gurney.
He didn't feel it.
Okay, nice catch.
All right.
I'll handle it,
'cause I have
nothing else to do today.
Here, this will
make you feel better.
Follow me.
That nurse is *** up
and you brought him coffee?
Like you've never seen that before.
Remember what's her name
from Lenox Hill?
- The worst.
- Whatever.
Why you so pissed?
It's one day.
You know, addiction is a disease
No, you know what?
Cancer is a disease.
You want me to beat him up?
I can't believe
you brought him coffee and not me.
You're jealous.
You bet your *** I am, you big ***.
Party in Mrs.
Greenfield's room.
Dr.
Cooper,
this is my other one Melissa.
*** Laude from Villanova.
Oh my god, mom, stop.
And she does PR.
She's got a beautiful singing voice.
Hi, I'm sorry.
- You live in the city?
- Yeah, I live in Murray Hill.
It's a little cookie cutter,
but I like it.
- Do you
- I'm sorry.
Do you have some
information for my mom,
or are we all moving in together?
Well, we're gonna have to admit you.
The scan showed spots on your stomach
and a mass in your bowel,
which should be biopsied.
It might mean exploratory surgery.
Somebody from oncology's
gonna come down
and talk about that.
What does that mean?
Can you take a Xanax
and not get all freaked out?
One thing at a time, okay?
Someone from oncology
will come down.
Okay, then, good luck.
Amy, knock it off.
You wanna cry, go outside.
It's just a little test.
Let me guess.
This all gets dumped on you.
Okay, talk to Laura in oncology.
She's absolutely the best,
but don't write "oncology"
or "exploratory surgery"
on any of the forms
you fill out here.
It should go to the insurance company
of the guy who hit your mother.
OK, it'll save you hours
fighting your HMO.
- Thank you.
- And bring some blankets from home.
They're not gonna give her
any more than two.
Can I get reception in here?
Down the hall.
I'll show you.
You don't have to walk me there.
So this might be
inappropriate, but
you seem like
a no-*** kind of girl.
Do you think your sister
would go out with me?
No, right?
No way?
Sure, you know,
ask her right after my mom
gets out of exploratory surgery.
- No, no, I'm not a ***.
- Oh, great, four bars.
Do you mind?
- You're done.
- What?
You have 2 choices:
walk out the door right now,
or I send you up to employee health
where you'll pee in a cup.
Either way,
I don't wanna see you in my ER again.
I don't know what your deal is.
We don't do that here.
Takes one to know one.
What did you just say?
I didn't say anything.
Oh, man
We were four short.
I've had a rough day.
Boy, that's tough.
How's your kid?
Better now.
I'm sorry.
You wanna get a coffee?
Do you want
to get some coffee and talk?
Not tonight, but thanks.
I should have told you.
I'm sorry.
If you have any questions
or anything you wanna know.
It's okay, Jack.
You explain to me when you're ready.
Now until then
it's fine.
It is.
There's nothing else
I should know about, right?
I mean, you're not like nurse by day,
cat burglar by night?
Believe me,
my life is not that interesting.
I don't know.
She seems pretty good now.
Yeah, pretty good, I think.
I don't know.
And next up
Jackie Peyton!
Not tonight.
I don't know, babe.
Your name's in the pitcher.
I think you gotta do it.
Somebody put it in there.
Grace? Really?
- Do you think I should?
- Yeah!
- All right!
- Okay.
Yay!
All right!
Thank you.
When this old world
starts getting me down
And people are just too much
for me to face
I climb way up
to the top of the stairs
And all my cares just drift
right into space
'Cause on the roof
it's peaceful as can be
There the world below
can't bother me