Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
May I get my usual, please?
Well, you're
in a good mood.
What's up?
Well, actually...
No, I better not.
Don't want to jinx it.
No problem.
Besides, the mark of a true
gentleman is discretion.
Okay.
Listen, about your dad's
bachelor party...
Charlotte and I spent
the night together.
I thought she was seeing
that super-hotty Frank.
Dumped him,
thank you.
For you?
I mean, wow!
Way to go!
Yes, I know.
It's funny I should end up
with my own matchmaker,
isn't it?
Yeah. I mean, that Frank
was the whole package.
Those eyes,
that chin,
that bod that wouldn't quit.
Yes, well, it didn't have
to quit; it was fired.
Uh, thank you
very much.
Now, you were
saying something
about my dad's
bachelor party?
Yeah. Weren't you
having a problem
deciding on
the entertainment?
Oh, yes.
Well, there's this girl
in my spin class,
and she does it all--
strips, lap dances, movies.
Really?
Would I be familiar
with her work?
I don't know.
Have you seenGrinding Nemo?
Anyway, I invited her over here
so you could check her out.
She's going to be here
any second.
Her name is Amber Licious.
Really? Well...
I'm afraid I can't d
o it right now.
I'm meeting Charlotte
for coffee. Uh...
You can tell her yourself.
Hey, Amber.
Hi, Roz.
How are you?
This is Frasier.
Hello.
Hello. Uh, how do you
do, Miss Licious? Uh...
Um, I'm terribly sorry, but,
uh, I've got something scheduled
so I'll have
to postpone our interview.
Perhaps we could meet,
uh, this evening
at my place, around 7:00?
I live at the Elliot Bay Towers.
Can we make it 7:30?
I have to go redub some groans
for He Biscuit.
Well, I'll see
you then. Great.
Frasier?
Hmm? Oh, uh...
Oh, hi.
Listen, I...
Gosh, I'm sorry I had to
dash off this morning.
No, it's okay.
I have to dash off
myself right now.
Oh, I thought
we were having coffee.
We were. I forgot,
I have to catch a train
to Portland in 20 minutes.
I'm giving a talk
to the Northwest Businesswoman'?
Association. I'm sorry.
Oh, no, it's all right.
I'm sure you'll be wonderful
.
Yeah. It's a good speech.
I gave it last year
to the Midwest
Businesswoman's Association.
Anyway, I'll be
back Sunday night.
We can have
dinner then.
I-I really
should catch a cab.
Maybe I could just
drive you to the station.
Oh, you don't
have to do that.
No, no. I'd like to.
Besides, I've always
been a sucker
for that romantic,
movie-ending good-bye--
a fog-shrouded train platform,
a-a passionate kiss.
With a romantic dip.
Yes, well,
maybe I am, but there are
damn few of us left.
Dip, dip, dip...
Oh.
So, I could make us
a reservation for dinner
on Sunday.
I would suggest Cucina.
Yeah, okay.
Charlotte, you seem
a little distracted.
Is there something on your mind?
Charlotte?
Oh, Frasier.
Oh, boy.
I-I really don't want
to get into this now.
Why don't we talk about it
Sunday night?
Please, I can't
wait till Sunday.
My imagination
will torture me.
Okay.
I'm moving back
to Chicago in three weeks.
Three weeks?
It's not you.
I bought my old business back
from my ex. I...
I know I should have
told you sooner,
but it was never
the right time.
Are you okay?
(softly) :
I had to blab to Roz.
What?
Nothing.
Are you sure?
This all happened
before we got together.
Well, let's look
on the bright side.
I mean, Chicago
isn't that far away.
I don't want
a long-distance relationship,
and neither do you.
You said so
on your application.
Okay.
But you know,
we still have,
uh, three weeks.
Don't be hurt, but...
if someone called your show
and said,
"I'm leaving town
in three weeks.
Should I get involved
with someone?"
What would you say?
I'd say it was foolish
to take the plunge
and bring up feelings
that must be dashed,
and so forth.
But what do I know?
.
I'm not infallible
Frasier...
All right.
Son of a ***!
Ooh, I'm sorry
. My hand slipped.
No, no. It's my train.
Damn it!
Oh, dear.
All right, look,
Uh, the next station
isn't too far.
I-I bet I can
beat the train.
(train whistle blowing)
Well, round two
to Amtrak.
I could drive us
to the next station.
Okay, but you do know
you're going
to have to drive
a little faster.
You do realize
we got passed by a school bus
and a prefab home?
Point taken.
I really do
appreciate this.
.
Oh, it's all right
o.
Didn't have anything else to d
Oh, dear.
I've got t
o make a call.
Could you hold
the wheel, please?
I just, uh, got this.
It's a... it's a...
a hands-free unit.
Much, uh, much, much safer.
Can we just meet her?
Everyone in Frasier's building
raves about her,
and I hear she's unhappy.
I just hate the idea
of poaching the
Steingarden's nanny.
I seem to recall
you poaching another man's
fiance' once.
Oh, Daphne, I was in college.
I...
Oh, you mean...
(phone rings)
Well, who did you mean?
Sorry. I have
to get this.
Hello.
Niles.
Frasier.
Listen, you remember
that idea we proposed
about Dad's party?
The, uh, the
entertainer? Oh.
The klezmer band?
No, no. The stripper.
Uh, well, I found one.
Daphne's fine,
thank you for asking.
She's right he
re beside me.
Niles, I'm supposed
to interview her
this evening at 7:30
at my place.
I can't make it.
Something came up.
You'll have to do it for me.
Oh, no, thank you.
Niles, if you're worried
about Dad being there.
He's got a date
with Ronee tonight.
(laughs)
Don't we want south?
Listen, Niles,
I-I know that you get nervous
around fan dancers
and their ilk,
but you have got
to conquer your fear.
Thank you. I'll talk to you later.
Good-bye.
South.
What? I'm sorry?
South! South!
What? What?
South!
Oh, dear, uh...
You know, perhaps
it would be best
if you just said
left or right.
It's not like there's
a compass in the car.
What's that?
.
Oh, well,
I'll be damned
What's that red light?
Hmm. Oh, that.
Oh, that's nothing
to worry about.
It's been
on for months.
I think there'
s something wrong
with the bulb.
Cell phones
don't work here.
Please tell me
you know what's wrong
with the car.
Not a clue.
I opened the hood
as a mere formality.
(knocking)
Hello?
Uh, we're terribly sorry
to bother you,
but our car has broken down.
Well, come on in
out of that cold.
My husband knows
everything about cars.
Harbin, these people's
car broke down.
Go take a look at it
for them.
Harbin!
(mumbling)
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
We certainly
appreciate that.
Have a seat and have
a cup of coffee
and warm up.
I'm Sue, by the way.
Thank you.
You're very kind.
Yes, yes, indeed.
I'm Charlotte.
And I'm Frasier.
Gosh, you seem to be preparing
for some sort of a party.
Well, Harbin's mother
passed away,
so people will be coming
over tomorrow.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
We should get
out of your hair.
Oh, no, please!
The company will do us good.
Harbin really perked up
when you came in.
Really?
Because he seems
to be crying in our car.
Excuse me.
Harbin!
For goodness sake,
pop the hood!
You will have to excuse him.
He was very attached
to his mother.
A little too attached
for my taste.
Hi, baby.
Who are these?
Their car broke down.
This is my son
Jonathan.
Isn't he handsome?
Jonathan, this is
Frasier and Charlotte.
How do you do?
Yes, nice
to meet you.
How is your project
today, baby?
Fine, Mother.
You want a butterscotch?
.
No, I'm
good. I'm good
So what are
you making?
Art.
He won't let any of us see it
till it's finished.
Oh. So, how's our car?
Can we just scoot
right away from here?
No, I'll have to...
drive to town tomorrow
for the parts.
What happened?
Well, we were just driving
along the highway
and suddenly the engine
just died.
(sobbing) :
Excuse me.
Excuseme.
Will you please
cut out the hangdog bit,
Mr. Welcome Wagon?
We got company!
Get in there,
show 'em some manners.
Offer them a place
to stay for the night.
You're not gonna
like it here.
Of course, of course,
you'll have
to spend the night.
We couldn't.
No, we really,
really couldn't.
There must be a hotel
in town.
What does this look like,
Lancaster?
(laughing)
It's no problem.
You could bunk
with Jonathan,
and Charlotte,
you could have
the fold-out.
I'll help make up your bed.
No, it's okay.
We'll stay together.
Yes, that's right,
together.
Well, are you married?
Because we don't want
to set a bad example.
Oh, yes, yes.
Yes, married. We're married.
For how long?
Two months
.
Oh, two years.
Hey, Ronee, it's me.
Uh, I got to interview
a new physical therapist
to fill in for Daph, so pick
me up 1 5 minutes later, okay?
Well, just have a drink.
Well, have another one!
Really?
Maybe I'll pickyouup.
Frasier?
You're too busy
to answer the phone.
But I'm just about
to interview this stripper,
and I have no idea what to ask.
I just hope Dad doesn't walk i
and spoil the surprise.
I'm already developing some sort
of aversion-based mouth dryness
as we speak.
This is Niles, by the way.
Hey, Niles.
Oh!
What's up?
Frasier is going to split
a case of oloroso with me,
because we both like oloroso.
.
But he's not here,
so I'll stop bothering you
Nice chatting.
Oh! Oh!
Are you-you here
for the interview?
Yes.
Crane, right?
Uh, yes, yes.
But, um...
uh... the place is a mess.
Do you mind if we...
if we talk in the lobby?
I guess that's okay.
(whispers):
Wonderful.
Uh, so...
(clears throat)
How-how long have you
been doing what you do?
Oh, years now.
At first I just did it
for friends, but then I thought,
"Why am I giving this away
when I can make money at it?"
Here are my references.
Oh! I didn't know you
people had references.
Let alone...
The mayor?!
Yeah.
I started with him,
and now I do
most of the city council.
Uh, well, uh, that's-that'
s good enough for me.
You're hired.
Shouldn't your dad meet
me before you decide?
Oh, no, no.
We don't want him to see you
till you're taking off
your clothes.
What are you talking about?
And why are you sweating
so much?
.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm just, I'm just a little ill at ease
around, you know...
What?
Sex workers!
Ew!
Get away from me, you freak!
Hi.
Hi.
What are you doing here,
and why are you so sweaty?
I was talking to Dad
about my case of oloroso.
Oh, well, if it doesn't clear
by tomorrow,
you should call a doctor.
I will.
Oh!
Hello, Kathy!
Yeah, it's Daphne Crane.
Listen I'm going to be
over here in 1 901,
and I was wondering
if we could finally meet.
Oh, that's wonderful!
Don't even call it an interview.
Everyone says you're
the best nanny in Seattle.
Good. I'll see you
up there, then.
Oh, wow, that was fast.
Come on in.
All right.
What happened
to Dr. Crane?
Oh, he's not feeling well.
Thanks for coming.
I know you're busy.
Please, have a seat.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, right after this,
I have to go pick
up a new teddy.
Oh! That's so sweet!
(both giggling)
Well, I'll make this
quick, then.
We're not expecting
anything fancy.
Just the basic burping,
diapering and so forth.
Okay, I guess
I'm game for that.
Oh, wonderful!
Why don't I make us some tea,
and we can talk?
Great! Uh, did you want me
to wear something special?
Oh! Since you ask,
.
I've always been partial to
a simple white nurse's uniform
It's a classic.
Oh, hi! I thought I heard
some talking out here.
I'm Marty Crane.
Hi.
How you doing?
Great.
Yeah. So, Daphne give
you the third degree?
Oh, not really.
No? Well, that's good.
I think she's a little
sensitive, you know,
about being replaced.
She's been doing me
for ten years.
Oh! But then
she got pregnant.
Right, right.
But you know, lately she's bee
having me up on the table.
I like it better on the floor.
The floor all right with you?
It's your dime.
Great, great.
Well, uh, maybe you
could show me your stuff.
Oh...
I'll never hear
the end of it
if I don't take you out for a spin.
Oh, sure.
I just need to change.
.
Oh, yeah. The powder
room's right there
Here? Okay.
Where did she go?
You didn't drive
her off, did you?
No, not at all.
I like her.
What do you think
about her?
I like her a lot.
Good!
'Course we won't really know
till we see her in action.
Ta-dah!
You're hired!
CHARLO TTE:
Hi, sweetie!
Hi.
Gone for 20 minutes?
Yes.
Well, uh, Harbin was just giving
me a tour of my engine...
Uh...
You've got either a blown
rod bearing or a loose pin.
We had a stethoscope, I'm sure
we could tell the difference.
Oh, yes, well,
you know,
I'm so hopeless
with cars.
I know I would
just misdiagnose it.
Wouldn't be the
first misdiagnosis
that ever happened.
Friend Charlotte...
Excuse me?
I thought most married
women wore a ring,
yet your hand is
bare and white.
Yes, i-it is.
Um...
that's because this
is the hand that I...
fell in love with...
a hand too...
too perfect
for, uh...
the profanity of gold
or-or platinum.
After all, what diamond
could possibly rival the...
sparkle in those eyes?
I'll take my coffee
in the living room,
you don't mind!
If that will make you
happy, Harbin.
Shall we?
This is Grandma.
We... had no idea.
We are having the wake
here tomorrow.
(sobbing):
Mama loved to party.
Excuse me again.
SUE:
Yeah, she loved to party,
all right,
with me as her personal slave
and handmaiden,
doing all the cooking
and the cleaning
and the wiping her sorry...
Sugar?
You know,
we're a bit tired, really.
Maybe we could
just turn in?
Well, help me get the cushions
off the fold-up.
We'll make up the bed.
You mean, we're-we'r
e sleeping in here?
.
Well, there's Mama's bed
But that's in our room.
e.
This'll be fin
(machine humming)
Did you hear that?
What?
(buzzing)
That!
What do you think
he's doing down there?
Well, how should I know?
He's your friend.
Shh!
(chuckling)
(footsteps)
Grandma?
It's Jonathan.
I just wanted
to tell you
that our little secret
is still safe.
Well, this tops anything
that would have happened
at the Portland Radisson.
(chuckles)
(footsteps)
(voice breaking) :
Hi, Mama!
I can't believe I'm not
going to get one more hug.
What's that?
One more?
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
I better go, Mama.
I'm sorry I scraped your head with my watch.
You know...
he said the same thing
to my engine
when he opened the hood.
(chuckling)
(sighs)
Charlotte...
I'm afraid we're making
a terrible mistake.
Frasier, I'm not
switching sides again.
No.
I mean, writing off
these three weeks
just 'cause you're moving.
I had a great time
with you today.
And with somebody else,
it would have been a disaster.
With somebody else,
I would have
been in Portland.
Come on. You know
what I'm talking about.
We have a lot of fun together.
And why deny ourselves
the chance to have even more?
I know the sensible thing
would be to just end it now
and walk away.
And normally,
that's what I would do.
But...
I don't want to be sensible.
But we'd only
have three weeks.
I know.
It'd be like a summer fling.
But wouldn't we be
sad when it ended?
Of course we would.
That's what happens.
You-you're sad
when summer's over.
Well, I... never was.
I mean, I always looked forward
to the new school year.
I would buy my books
a month...
Are you going to
talk all summer?