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Hmm.
Oh, yeah.
Hmm. Best dressed? Please.
The girl's got hips like snack trays.
Mmm. Catch me if you can.
[ALARM SOUNDS]
What?
No accepte speech?
You didn't thank your manager,
your agent, your assistan,
your shrink, the Dalai Lama.
I'm a witch. What can I tell you?
So you had some sudden need for a paperweight?
Or is there a big market for stolen cable TV awards?
Okay, first of all, spandex?
You might want to rethink that.
Second, not everything's about money, sweetheart.
If it's worth something to them,
it's worth something to me.
And third...
Damn it!
[♪♪♪♪]
[HORNS HONKING]
[LAUGHS]
Okay, that was humiliating.
And this is so not spandex!
[ECHOING]
Line's forming, buddy.
Are you waiting for a message from the mother ship,
or are you gonna jump?
Never mind.
If you need some inspiration,
I'm getting naked down here.
Huh.
I don't know who you are,
but I think I'm in love.
Who makes up these nicknames?
These newspaper guys read too many comics.
Where's Harry?
I thought he was gonna honor us
with his presence this afternoon.
Wouldn't bet on it.
It's like he's turning into you.
Hmm. I don't know what he's up to.
He's never home.
He says he's at the library or something.
Like he even knows where that is.
Think we should be worried?
Worried about what?
Your disappearing act.
Afraid I was off somewhere running up a bar tab
the size of the national debt?
It's not like you couldn't afford it.
Yeah, well, you guys can call off the intervention, ok?
I met someone.
Wow. Who's the lucky babe of the week?
It's like they have an expiration date
stamped on their forehead.
Guys, I know this is hard to believe.
Trust me. Even I'm having trouble
wrapping my brain around this,
but I think I actually like this one.
He's not kidding.
I don't think he is.
Wait a sec.
If you're so hot on this girl,
how come we haven't met her?
You embarrassed of us or something?
That's what it is.
We're not good enough for her.
Well, that's true. You're not.
But, that's not the reason.
I just wanted to take my time with this one.
I didn't wanna rush into anything.
Huh. Go figure.
Man, that's great.
So can I ask you a question?
Who are you, and what have you done with Harry Osborn?
If you keep actg like a jerk,
I'm not gonna let you meet her tomorrow night.
I thought I'd make dinner for the four of us.
Cook?
Whoa, whoa.
As in "preparing food for human consumption by means of heat"?
Just shut up and be ready at 7.
MARY JANE: So where'd she grow up?
I don't know. Upstate someplace I think.
Where does she work?
I mean, you said she's not in school. What's she do?
Wait. Did she already graduate?
Ooh, maybe she's, like, 40,
and that's why he's been hiding her.
Guys, enough with the third degree.
You're giving me a headache. Oh!
Whoa, take it easy, buddy.
We're just kidding around.
I know, but do me a favor and back off, ok?
I mean it. I'm a little bit freaked here.
Hey, Harry, it's gonna be fine.
Yeah, don't sweat it, all right?
We'll try not to chew with our mouths open,
or spit when we talk or do anything else
that might ruin your potential happiness. Promise.
Thank you.
Okay, this is too weird.
He's wigging out over a girl.
I feel like we're trapped
in some kind of alternate universe.
But I guess that's a good thing, right?
He's been such a train wreck lately.
I know. It's kind of a miracle, actually.
I mean, can you even remember the last time
Harry got close to anybody? You know, except for us?
I'll get it!
Hi, I'm Cheyenne.
Um, is Harry here?
Hi, yeah. Come on in.
Welcome. I'm M.J., and the mime here is Peter.
It's really great to meet you.
Ok, she's not that cute.
Yeah, fine. Whatever.
Harry, come on.
I was just asking a simple question.
Yeah, I mean, who knew it was chicken?
Really. I've just never seen it this color.
Go ahead. Mock. Please. I insist.
Aw, don't pout, honey.
So, Cheyenne, did you know Harry's rich?
Mmph.
Actually, I did know,
but I decided to go out with him anyway.
I'm a trust-fund baby too.
Money's not really an issue for me.
Yeah, she's rich, and she comes from a screwed-up family.
We're perfect for each other.
What?
Anybody up for a late movie?
Oh, I can't.
I gotta get up for an early flight, remember?
Where you going?
Heli-skiing in Utah. Girl trip.
Wow, that is so cool.
You gotta try it sometime.
The head rush is completely insane.
Yeah, but seriously, when you think about it,
who needs all that fresh air and scenery?
Why don't you stay here with me instead?
I've got a much better way to get your adrenaline going.
Tempting,
but as cute as you are, can't do it.
Aw, come on.
Me or a bunch of chicks in a helicopter?
I'm thinking the choice is clear.
Harry, I'm not gonna ditch my friends
just because I've suddenly got a guy in my life.
A great guy.
Hmm. If you think so.
Seriously, I gotta go pack.
I think I'm gonna take off too.
If you're headed uptown, we could share a cab.
Yeah, sure.
Dinner was fabulous.
Mmm. I'll call you when I get back, ok?
It was great meeting you, Peter.
You too.
Last chance to change your mind.
What'd I tell you?
She legendary, or what?
Yeah. Absolutely.
[♪♪♪]
I know this is gonna sound like a totally lame pick-up line,
but haven't I seen you someplace before?
I thought we talked about that outfit.
Huh.
Yeah, well, not all of us can wear leather.
Don't you find it kind of...chafing?
I never get that hot...
with this on, anyway.
Listen, I don't want to be rude,
but you're irritating me,
so what do you want?
Didn't you get your *** kicked enough last time?
Okay, the bitter and hostile routine--
it's getting a little old, but, hey,
as long as we're getting to know each other,
what are you doing here?
You mean a nice girl like me?
Uh, no. Clearly not.
If you wanna know the truth,
I'm doing this article for Crime Fighters Monthly
about the inner psyche of the criminal element.
You know what they say,
it all goes back to the mother.
That your story?
Don't you have anybody that means anything to you?
If you get hurt, you get caught,
what would that mean?
I never thought.
I'd hear anything so full of crap.
I mean, did you really think this Oprah moment
was gonna give me some kind of epiphany?
Come on! Two seconds!
I just wanna talk.
Don't need therapy, pal.
Tell you what I do need, though--
Hmm.
Tomorrow night, 9:00 sharp.
It'll give you a chance to see what I can really do.
Don't wanna miss that, do you?
Great.
[HORNS HONKING]
HARRY: Hey, so what's up?
Don't tell me you're packed already?
You need five pairs of shoes
to go pick up a newspaper.
Don't exaggerate. I only need four.
I decided to postpone.
No snow?
No...you.
I gotta tell him.