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[music]
Assembling in these dense colonies
Provides the social stimulation
That is the key to coordinating Their breeding
Tonight’s documentary presentation Will explore the short-term mating behaviour
Of one of the most remarkable creatures
in all creation The *** sapien
*** sapiens, also known as “humans” Generally mate in pairs,
creating the illusion Of a monogamous constitution
But the truth is slightly more elusive
As is often the case as evolution advances
The preferred strategy depends on circumstances
And scientists, seeking answers Look to these elaborate courtship dances
Males and females congregate In large colonies to display their traits
They often fail to find long-term mates But so much flesh will not go to waste
And it’s now that the advantages
Of breeding in such dense colonies Become clear
We’ve got a short-term mating dance Up in here, up in here, up in here!
They’ve come to breed [scratch]
We’ve got a short-term mating dance Up in here, up in here, up in here!
A male and a female, engaged in courtship
They appear normal But their nervous systems
are flooding with endorphins
A solitary male observes with caution
Although the proximity of their conversations
Is physically close enough for copulation
The female is notoriously patient
She’s testing the male for signs of frustration
Note the *** dimorphism
The larger male form is invariably caused By competition for female attention
Charles Darwin called this “*** selection”
But the females also compete For male parental investment
For this species, like no other Has a grotesquely prolonged adolescence
And it’s now that the advantages
Of breeding in such dense colonies Become clear
We’ve got a short-term mating dance Up in here, up in here, up in here!
Females can make their choice From many males
While successful males Can have access to lots of females
Ah, their mating instincts are taking hold
For short-term mating, males prefer Cues of fertility,
such as facial symmetry Youth, and a low waist-to-hip ratio
Females prefer cues of genetic fitness
Such as dominance in competitions
Creative intelligence with linguistics
Physical symmetry, and social presence
The solitary male is beginning to stir
Perhaps he’s observed an opportunity
As social primates, the females prefer Forms of competition where no is hurt
Rhythmic movements display the male’s symmetry
Or lack thereof
the female ability To appraise males genetically based on their movements
reveals an uncanny sensitivity
The solitary male is attempting to lure One of the females,
but he seems rather Unsure of where to focus of his attention
So his prospects appear to be poor
In the two courting pairs note the correlation Between the male and the female hair
Long hair, especially when dredded Is often decidedly unhygienic
Hence, in such conspicuous displays It serves as a costly signal
of conscientiousness
Ah, and of course the pony tale Which signals a high-investing,
non-alpha male
The solitary male is unsuccessful And retreats,
perhaps to the rest-room
However, further opportunities await Especially if he displays on a stage
Studies of human mating preference
Reveal a measurable relaxing of standards As the night goes on,
which scientists Refer to as the “closing time phenomenon”
The scientific study of *** sapiens Is relatively recent,
so we can Only speculate on the reasons
For much of their extraordinary behavior
And it’s now that the advantages
Of breeding in such dense colonies Become clear
We’ve got a short-term mating dance Up in here, up in here, up in here
They’ve come to breed [scratch]
We’ve got a short-term mating dance Up in here, up in here, up in here