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G: A warm welcome to ...
B: ... to the celebrity alcoholics!
G: ... to the 1st episode of the 2nd season of Thekenschlampe TV (bar *** tv)
B: That's what I said
G: Our guest today ...
B: ... likes to bend over!
G: ... for the records that he plays.
B: What? That fool? He djs with USB sticks. Here, that's his set!
G: Our today's guest is dj and producer Ruede Hagelstein!
G: Meine Damen und Herren. Es ist Dienstag, 20:15 Uhr irgendwo in Berlin Friedrichshain.
G: Meine Damen und Herren. Es ist Dienstag, 20:15 Uhr irgendwo in Berlin Friedrichshain.
Welcome Ruede Hagelstein. Come on, let's have a drink first. Cheers.
Well, best you introduce yourself. You have
and how you became what you are today.
R: I'm Ruede Hagelstein and I was born in Zeuthen close to Berlin
and in fact I became what I am today because I had moved away from there.
G: Good. We have a change to the previous season: We have decided for a special word for this interview. If we name it
we have to drink. And for your interview the word is of course "techno".
Why are we here at the Stereo 33 bar at the Boxhagener Platz?
R: The door was open.
G: Oh, true. I give now some statements which we can answer with yes or no.
If it's a yes we'll have a shot, if it's a no we'll give each other a friendly smile.
Music makes the worlf a better place! If you can't drink on that I don't know.
I can sweat like a pig! To party hard is a kind of ***!
To hold my rod, too!
R: Yes.
G: Then drink!
R: And you?
G: Oh well ... yes. I'm a chick with a *** so ... In fact the rod was referred to your fishing.
You like to fish and do it often. Techno is awesome!
Director: You have to drink twice
G: Thanks to the team! I would do this interview a third time
with you!
R: Never!
G: When I heard a track of mine the first time on air I thought ...?
R: Switch it off!
G: And the first time you heard your track in a club?
R: Oh yeah, this moment of course was magic! I was just about to run to the bar staff
and say: Hey, here, that's me ....
G: Ok with singers yes but with djs I thought ...
R: no, even in the techno business ... G. Haha ... Cheers
R: It doesn't make any difference because also techno made some changes ...
G: Ja ... Yalla ... Uh ... R: Yes, I mean not only music wise
but also the scene .... the techno scene from the 90s ... My God, I'm digging my
own grave here! G: In 15 years I will work as ...?
R: In the moment I'm groping in producing music for movies and commercials.
By then I see myself growing tomatoes in the Uckermark.
G: The first generation of electronic dis influenced significantly ...?
R: The fee!.It was said that djs in the beginning of the 90s ...I was about to say the "bad" word ...
G: ... in the techno business ;-) ... we viz have
a new schnapps. That's the coca leaf liqueur. ... aIn a leading techno club
you can not dispense with a) star dj line up b) the club dealer
oder c) a good door policy? R: Club dealer?
G: Club dealer ... Well, we had the word techno and have this
*** good coca leaf liqueur that you have to take with a kind of acid? ... or something else.
R: I have taken it with something else now. But I would favor a great sound system
but also the door policy is very relevant. G: If the bouncer of the club
where I'm supposed to play don't let me in ...?
R: I leave! G: Didn't it happen to you lately that the bouncer
refused you at the door and said: No, you have nothing to play with. You can't be a dj.
R: Right, this happens recently.
That's my whole set. Doesn't look like much, does it?
G: In the meantime ... Isn't it that all techno djs ... Oh techno ...
R: Wow, they hear anything! G: The director is very tough!
As a dj you panic most before a) an empty dance floor b) overdose c) the lights go on?
R: the empty dance floor. G: The most unusual someone ever
demanded of you you was ...? R: Salsa. I have started to write down
the best quotes that people gave me. One of my favorites is: Mach
mal geiler. G: The most immoral someone ever
offered to me was ...? R: Money!
G: But never anything ***? R: Yes permanently!
G: Ah ok ... the coca leafs are working! Someone said you should never
have more then four ... otherwise you might become aggressive or talk way too much! A warm welcome to Thekenschlampe TV.
I become euphoric when a) I play and the crowd dances like crazy
b) I think of drugs or c) my girlfriend opens her legs?
R: Hoho, that's a trap! The answer is of course when my girlfriend opens ...
G: Ja? R: ... her legs!
G: Talking of your girlfriend. My girlfriend has to stand a lot with me and my job
R: Oh ja!
G: ... but on the other hand? R: She has to stand a lot with me at home!
G: To go out by boat and throw
the fishing rod gives me a feeling of ...? R: ... having time.
G: We have a game! Rüde Hagelstein will fish in 15 seconds as many fish ...
R: Yeah
G: You swine. Oh yeah. One ... R: A starfish ... a typical fish of the Spree ;-)
The wind is extremely strong! G: My God, you are good!
R: This one is way to heavy to be fished!
G: I blow too well ;-) R: This one is not to fish ... Look at
this one, you can't ... G: The dj-gig I will never forget was ...?
R: I once played for a big fashion brand
the Preliminary Program before the band. I was the only dj but then someone put something in my drink
The next day I met the photographer from the night before.
He took pictures from the party and I asked him: So ... well ...
G: Did anything happen? R: ... did I play? I mean was everything alright?
He showed me a picture. I was standing on stage, hands with records up in the air and I thought:
Seems pretty ok. Then I had a closer look: There were no records on the turntables! What means
there was a moment of silence in the club! G: Oh that happened to me as well ...hahahahaha ...
These are childhood experiences, ladies and gentlemen!
Seconds Of FAme. Das heißt Du kannst sagen was du willst, ein politisches Statement,
something important to you ... Regie: without beating with your bracelet on the mic!
Micro ... G: What do you mean?
R: I am Rüde Hagelstein. My stuff is super hot ... buy everything ... Google helps
The last 5 seconds I would like to use to introduce my new project that I started
with my best friend Fraenzen Texas ... the project is called The Cheapers and we do
only drink ... but we also made it to produce a cd ... it's called Memories ...
with childhood photos of us ... Regie: Stop!
G: My little fisher. now the price question. well, what's your price? R: Suitably to the fishing theme
the price is my new mix compilation.. G: Ladies and gentlemen, we want of
our guest ... Oh you present it so emotionally ... like a gay ...
... sometimes I doubt you're straight ... R: Not only you!
G: Of course you will win this fantastic rod and line
today, here on QVC. R: Look here on top, how beautifully made
the blinker, quite exquisite! G: And you will also get the starfish ...
another fish and a fat toad that you will never get out of the water.
R: But there are only 3800 left. G: You can get all this for free today
if you answer the question: how many *** we drank during the interview.
You can follow us here and there and there and there.
I wanna thank again my guest ... and the director is coughing and I
can do it all over again. But what. Ok you are blowing ... I mean a little inwardly.
But now the last question:
Regarding your life. If you could change anything in the past, it would be
R: Das hier absagen. Ah ne, wir machen es noch mal.
G: ...it would be ...? R: I would have trained my dog
in a totally different way ...come on, once again. G: If you could change one thing ...
R: My DJ name! G: I would change that, too. Oh yeah!
R: What would be your new name? Rüde Hagelstein? Come on, once again.
If... R: I would have never started to study philosophy...
no, once again. G: Do you hear me? Heeellooo!
If you could change one thing in your life ...
R: I would quit smoking or never even started it.
G: In this sense, the rod high, I want to thank again my guest ...
Regie: You should simply say bye bye!
G: And we will see each other again next week here at Thekenschlampe ... and many
thanks to Mr. Rüde Sweaty Swine ... no Hagelstein!