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This is Nigel.
Hi Nigel.
Hi. What's your name?
Nice to meet you. Hi, I'm Stephanie.
Oh. A little ticklish.
-Nigel. -Stephanie.
This is a very swingy chair.
A bit difficult, those things.
Not quite right. Okay. Nigel!
Yes. Stephanie.
Lovely to meet you. Welcome to London. Are you enjoying your time here so far?
Nnnnn.... Yes!
I should say yes. Yes!
It doesn't quite sound like you are, but okay. And um, don't mean to bring up anything too
difficult, but how did you get here considering that you can't really fly anymore?
Just like anyone else. I hired a blimp. Just a small blimp. Not a fancy blimp.
That's rather fancy.
I tied my leg to a balloon.
And obviously you're renowned for your evil ways.
-Likewise. -Well, thank you.
Have you got any evil plans for your trip?
Yeah, I'm hoping to get revenge on just people who do me wrong, people who work at the hotel
here. Cab drivers. Just everywhere I go, doing slightly evil things.
Obviously we saw in this film, you got into a bit of singing.
Yes. I sing a little.
Are you perhaps considering a career move from just the solid being evil onto maybe
the singing and being evil at the same time?
Evil soundtracks. An evil album, perhaps. And an evil single.
Good, I like it. That's a good one. And obviously we've got some good home grown talent here
in the UK. We thought perhaps you might consider joining something like One Direction, maybe.
Yes, but we'd have to change the name to One EVIL Direction.
That would be an excellent change. I mean, you could put it to Simon Cowell.
I'm sure he'll be into that.
I mean, you've got the looks. Do you think you'd fit in?
Yes thank you. Thank you for noticing.
Oh, don't worry about it. Do you think you would fit in with the lads? You and Harry
Styles out in London?
Yes, yes I do. I think I would be an excellent twentieth member. How many are there?
-There are five. -Five. Sixth member, yes. I've never heard them.
I mean, as you're quite evil, you could always kill one, take his spot, if you fancied that.
Uh... Are you sure it's legally a good idea for you to say that on television?
Oh yeah, killing people is legal in the UK, yeah.
Are you certain? Sounds like a great, great country.
Now that you mention it, I'll Google it. I'm not too sure. Also in the film, we saw the
talent contest panel. Obviously, when you're evil, that's quite good when you're on those
sort of panels. Would you ever consider doing maybe the X Factor or...?
I would be the perfect replacement for Simon Cowell, if something terribly unfortunate
were to happen to him. When I say unfortunate, I mean unfortunate for him, but not unfortunate
for everyone else.
-And finally, I hope you don't mind... -Finally!
Yes, yes. I hope you don't mind me saying, but in the film, you did seem at one point
to get put off your evil track by glitter. You were running around the forest. You were
kind of looking for glitter.
What are you trying to say? What are you getting at? I like glitter. I like being evil and
I like glitter. They're not mutually exclusive.
I mean, some might question your focus on being truly evil when you were so easily distracted by glitter.
You can be evil with glitter. It's just shiny and bad.
Oh, I like that. Shiny and bad. Okay, that's a good life lesson for me. Well, it's been
gorgeous speaking to you.
Yes, of course it has.
And I hope you enjoy your time here.
Yes, I won't, but thank you.
Should we do a little shake?
Don't touch me.