Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
-We're moving where? -Everwood, Colorado.
-Where's that? -Colorado, moron.
How'd you know I was from New York?
That new doctor, he's your father, right?
You are aware that we already have a family doctor in town?
You're the other doctor! How are you? I'm Andy Brown.
Amy, tell him why you're hanging out with him.
Remind me and my tired feet, just why it is
that you're offering this thankless town free medicine?
I'm nuts.
Mom would never have done this to us!
She never would've moved us here!
-Don't be so sure of that! -I knew her. You didn't.
You were never around. We just tolerated you.
-That's good. What else you got? -Wish you'd died instead of her!
-Do you have a boyfriend? -Yes.
Ephram Brown, meet Colin Hart.
When it comes to my sister, Amy, I'm a genius.
And she's playing you, dude.
Soon as she gets your daddy fixing up Colin,
she's not gonna look at you anymore.
You want me to ask my dad to help Colin?
If you could just talk to him.
I'll ask him.
Thank you.
Where's dad? I want dad.
He'll be home soon. Here, lie down.
Seven-year-old boys who can't breathe
trump little girls with nightmares.
Yes, in my profession they do.
In the medical profession or in the crappy father one?
You asked your father, didn't you?
He said no.
I mean, you can't really begrudge the guy.
He wants to get outta the brain business. Start a new life.
I wish I could tell you everything's gonna be okay.
What I do know is that all we have now is each other.
I need your help raising your sister.
She gets us.
GIRL: Hi, Eric.
IRV: Folks move to the country for lots of reasons:
Clean air.
Better schools.
Stores where you don't have to fake a heart attack...
...to get a salesperson's attention.
And diners like this one.
You really ought to take a squeegee to these menus.
That or serve them as an appetizer.
I'll take that under advisement, Andy.
Too late to change to baked potatoes?
How many nights can you feed your kids French fries...
...without crossing over into that bad-parent zone?
No problem. Three bakers, on the fly!
Where's the kitchen, Pittsburgh?
Simon only hears out of his left ear.
What's happened to his right one?
He doesn't have a right one.
Just think, a year ago I was sitting,
perusing the menu at Le Cirque.
Now I'm waiting for three blue-star roast-beef specials...
...cooked by one-eared Simon.
That's funny, but I'm eight and a half months pregnant.
I laugh at things when I'm lying down.
You should be. You're about to deliver.
What's the matter, Mama Joy won't give you time off?
Well, she's not really in a position to.
She's been dead for 20 years.
Doesn't hurt to ask.
Mama Joy's is actually owned and operated...
...by Mama Joy's nephew, Art. Thanks.
Oh, so actually, Mama Joy is Aunt Joy.
And Aunt Joy is actually Gertrude Smaltz...
...but nobody found that appetizing.
Maybe I'll go with a different side.
Is there anything besides baked or fried?
Yes, there is.
Mashed.
Now get outta here. Your kids are starving.
-Edna, why did you do that? -Oh, forget it.
He's just gonna have to be a part of this.
Nina Feeney.
This is your first official baby shower.
-Surprise. WOMEN: Surprise.
BRENDA: Oh, bless your heart.
-You really didn't know. -Oh, you shouldn't have.
EDNA: That's what I told them. Just try to make the best of it.
No, I can't accept these gifts.
BRENDA: Don't worry. They're not for you, they're for the baby.
This is not my baby.
Ha. Right, and these aren't my thighs.
But somehow I woke up one morning
and had to give up spandex.
No, you don't understand. I--
I'm carrying this baby for someone else.
Do you know what she's talking about?
[SIGHS]
PAGE: Ooh, here comes geek boy. AMY: You guys are awful.
PAGE: Bye. -Later, guys.
Hey, Ephram.
Boy, can I clear a hallway or what?
Kayla and Page. They're allergic to anyone...
...who's not at the top two popularity percentile.
I'm only 98 percent short.
Friends of yours?
Those legs belong to Baryshnikov and Twyla Tharp.
Cut it out of a dance magazine. You like?
Sure. Where's the rest of them?
I dig legs. So what's up?
Looked like you wanted to ask me something.
I do. Um....
I was wondering if you...
...uh, were gonna do the reading
for Mr. Donnelly's class at lunch.
I heard he might be throwing a pop quiz.
-I wanted to warn you. -I'm prepared.
Thank you. See you later.
You could always get calf implants.
There's a doctor down in Denver...
...who evidently works miracles on men with chicken legs.
Wendell.
This is the part where you shake my hand?
If you're looking to get your picture in her locker...
...you're going about it all wrong.
The school knows Amy worships
at the shrine of Coma Boy every weekend.
If you wanna break her of the habit, you're gonna need help.
-Well, not yours. -I provide a service.
One that you might find beneficial...
...in your doomed, albeit noble, romantic pursuit.
-What are you talking about? -You'll see, Brown.
I'm just finishing your dossier.
Give me time to work out the finer details,
then I'll call you with a plan.
Everything's treatable, but the blood pressure concerns me.
Don't you worry about that. Ahem.
It'll drop the second I'm out of here.
-Why, do I make you nervous? -You, no. Edna, yes.
We went steady in the fifth grade.
She introduced me to hickeys and shoplifting.
Right. Walter, I wanna see you back here in a couple of weeks.
Doc. I can't make this a regular thing.
Not if you won't take my money.
If you don't fancy a box of steaks,
least you can do is enjoy my boat.
-It's very kind of you, Walter-- -Everyone needs an escape.
Everwood's enough of an escape for me.
You'll need to get out now and then. My Sea Breeze is a beaut.
Docked at Lake Tasha, prettiest in the county...
...surrounded by 2052 acres of evergreen bliss.
It's a little slice of heaven.
BRENDA: It's important. Excuse me.
And take some bug spray.
BRENDA: Hello?
We need to talk, Dr. Brown.
Now.
[KIDS CHATTERING]
That's my bench.
Can't we share it?
Anyway, the point is...
...that Nina and the child share no genetic material.
Her body essentially incubates and nourishes.
Well, how does Nina's husband feel about all this nourishing?
-I imagine he's fine with it. -Fine?
Would you let your wife go do....
I am so sorry. That just slipped out.
Brenda, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of patients waiting.
Nina has to be doing this for money.
They must be financially ruined.
I say that you and I co-chair a fundraiser.
Get the community to pitch in, and raise enough money...
...she can buy herself out of the contract and keep the baby.
That's not an option. Where are my patients?
Then we'll raise double the money.
Forget bake sale, think Monte Carlo night.
Brenda, this doesn't concern me and you.
Nina's not a patient of mine. She's just my neighbor.
Doctor, we're all neighbors here in Everwood.
We look after each other.
If you wanna be one of our beloved healers--
This has nothing to do with healing.
When you have another medical question feel free to come back.
In fact, mail it.
Here you go, Chet.
GARY: This, uh....
Keep the change.
Gary, you catch trout for a living.
Since when can you afford to give me a $20 tip?
No, keep it.
Well, thank you.
So, what can I get for you today?
Is this spot taken, doctor?
Oh, that it were.
You know...
...I've never eaten lunch here before, just dinner.
You eat here every day?
I used to.
-Is that all, Martha? -It is, here you go.
Extra's for you.
Martha, this would be a $60 tip.
And you haven't tipped me since I started working here.
I'm catching up.
Okay.
Since when did everybody decide to start tipping 800 percent?
-Can you help me up? -A pregnant woman--
What do you know about being pregnant?
That's what I thought. Please help me up.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Attention, everyone.
I am not poor.
Nor am I a charity case.
A year ago, my cousin in Boulder called and asked me...
...if I'd be interested in helping an old friend of hers.
When she explained the situation to me, I thought she was crazy.
Then I met her. Her name is Sarah and she's a single woman
who teaches Comparative Religion at the university there.
She is unable to carry a child to full term...
...and she desperately wants to have a family.
Now, I don't know about you all,
but I don't believe that single women...
...should be deprived of experiencing motherhood.
And if any of you have a problem with me doing this...
...I invite you to speak now...
...or forever keep your mouths shut.
Thank you.
I would like to say a little something, if I may.
Call your neighbors old-fashioned,
but some of us don't believe...
...that medical technology should be put to this end.
When privileged people play God, design babies...
...then pay less-privileged people to carry them...
...we are embarking upon a very scary brave new world.
And Nina, another thing.
If you felt so confident in your decision to do this...
...why has it taken so long for you to tell us about it?
We're your neighbors, your friends, your doctor.
We have a vested interest in this child you're carrying...
...and we had a right to know the truth.
Oh, no. No, it--
-Ahem. Can I jump in here? -Go for it.
Hey, everyone.
Andy Brown here.
Crazy doctor who works out of the old train station.
Uh, just a word, if I may...
...about the moral implications of surrogacy.
While I know it's tempting to view certain advancements...
...in reproductive technology as threatening...
...some of these advancements bring us things...
...like ultrasound and amniocentesis...
...which allow us to improve the health...
...and even save the lives of the unborn.
Technology cuts both ways.
That's why it's important for us to evaluate
each case individually.
Now, are there ethical questions to be raised? Without a doubt.
Does Nina strike any of us as the kind of person...
...who would make the decision...
...to help bring life into this world...
...without asking herself those questions?
I don't think so. And as for not letting us know sooner...
...if I knew that I was gonna suffer...
...a character assassination from my own doctor...
...in front of half of my friends and neighbors...
...I'd be inclined to keep a few things to myself too.
[BELL RINGS]
DELIA: Wait a minute. Where's my jacket?
BOY: Quit it, Magilla.
What did you just call me?
Say it again, I'll fry your face in fat.
DELIA: There it is.
Wait.
What? What are you looking at?
Move it.
Why're you eating that before dinner?
Because I know who's cooking it.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello.
WENDELL [OVER PHONE]: You know about Tchaikovsky?
-Who's this? WENDELL: It's Wendell.
If you play Swan Lake, you're in with Amy.
How'd you get this number?
WENDELL: Don't get hung up on the details. Practice your Russian.
[DIAL TONE]
-Who was that? -Sales call.
-Hey, Ephram. EPHRAM: Hey, Nina.
-Hey, Daddy. ANDY: Hi, sweetie.
Go wash your hands. You can help your brother set the table.
And then, you ignore everything he says.
Remember, no one loves a critic.
Skedaddle.
-Bye, Nina. -Bye.
If you and Sam don't have any dinner plans, you--
Oh, I'm expecting someone, but listen, I was wondering.
I'm in the market for a new family doctor. You interested?
Well, I'm not sure.
I've never had a patient I shared a fence with.
-I've had a few impaled by them. -Ha. What's the matter?
Afraid you can't be both a friend and a doctor?
Sure, I'll take you on.
[CAR HORN HONKS]
That must be my guest. Come meet her.
-Who is it? -Sarah, baby's mother.
I'll be right there.
Who's the old lady?
Doing a lot of laundry these days.
You wanna charge me?
I was once a happy sack of hormones myself.
Gross. Find another sack to share with.
Ephram, your friend Wendell's on the phone.
He's not my friend.
He's a freak.
He said he was your friend.
Yeah, well, don't be so gullible.
Hello.
WENDELL: Meet me on the 3rd floor at lunch.
Take Stairway D next to the Chem lab.
We're getting caller ID.
You should be happy you made a friend.
-What's that supposed to mean? -It's not easy.
Everyone in my class has known each other since the '90s.
Look, Delia, you wanna make a friend?
The first step, don't look so needy.
Is it these pants?
Here, come on, it's not that bad.
All you need to do is look busy.
Trust me.
If you look like you don't need a friend,
you'll make one in a flash.
Want me to round this off to the nearest hundred?
I'll hurt you.
It's really not that bad.
For a linebacker. Come here.
You want me to take my shirt off?
-Uh, no, I'll just go under it. -Okay.
Aren't you gonna say something?
-About? -Sarah.
I could tell you were frazzled last night
and I was too when I first met her.
-Well, she is a little, uh-- -Old.
Older, for a new parent.
She tried for years to get pregnant.
By the time she realized she couldn't...
...it took her a few more to save up for a surrogate.
And catch-22 is by that point, she had to find a surrogate...
...that was okay with her age.
Well, she's lucky she found you.
You're giving her an incredible gift.
It goes both ways, I guess.
I'm not a saint, Andy, and political beliefs aside...
...a big part of me did this for the money.
I'm hoping that if my husband and I have some savings...
...pay off loans, maybe he'll stay home
more than a few weeks a year.
Constant traveling is not really the best thing for a marriage.
And I'm not a single parent by choice.
Me neither.
You're late.
Who told you I played piano?
And what makes you think I like Amy?
And why am I following you?
This is where the Swans rehearse. I called in a favor...
...and give their pianist an acute case of carpal tunnel.
-What? -That's my business, Brown.
I trade in favors. In this case, the piano player gets...
...a collector's baseball card. You get a chance to impress Amy.
And what do you get?
The satisfaction that I can change people's destinies.
And a DVD player. Don't ask.
Of course, you will have to deal with Ms. Baxworth.
BRENDA: Alright, and one arm....
WENDELL: She's the windbag beneath their wings.
BRENDA: Good.
Good, good.
Alright, excellent. Good, good.
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
You the sub? Where have you been?
I-- I just got the music.
For God's sakes, come sit. Let's take it from Measure 14.
Good, good, good. Everybody, up, up, up. Get up.
We're gonna take it from the entrance of Rothbart.
That means "Redbeard" in German, alright?
Let me see your arms. Arms up, up.
Ashley, Ashley, reach.
You're a swan, not a duck.
Alright, maestro.
[PLAYING TCHAIKOVSKY'S "SWAN LAKE"]
-Ow. Give it back. -Bite me, pinhead.
-It's my brother's. -Who cares?
Tell your daddy to buy another one.
-You're rich. -No, we're not.
Yeah, right. Then how come your dad doesn't charge people?
He could buy 5000 million more of these.
[PLAYING TCHAIKOVSKY'S "SWAN LAKE"]
And you're swans, swans. Chins up.
Chins up. Yes, yes, yes. Oh.
Alright.
I'm clapping as the audience, not me.
I have much higher standards than this.
See you all right after school.
And, Ephram, that was super. I'll see you at 3:30.
Left hand needs work.
Let's get outta here before the hockey players come.
Hello, why have you kept this top secret?
What're you talking about? Told you I played.
Not like this. How long have you studied?
Probably about as long as you've danced.
Pretty amazing, yourself.
Ephram.
What are you doing tonight?
My friend Kayla's having a birthday party. You wanna go?
You need somebody to play "Happy Birthday"?
-Come on, you'll be my guest. -I don't know.
Me, your friends, lit candles in the same room....
You don't know them, Ephram.
And they don't know you, yet.
Give them a chance. At worst, you get
free cake and an evening with me.
Yeah, okay.
-Sure. Yeah, I'll go. -Cool.
-What's this? -Your new patient's files.
Thought it appropriate you should have them...
...since I'll no longer be attending her.
You wanna keep a close watch on Nina's potassium levels.
They run a little low.
And she should have had her tonsils removed years ago.
Thank you, doctor.
-Aren't you gonna sit? -I'll be taking my food to go.
I've had my fill of afternoons in this greasy spoon...
...with its even greasier patrons.
More coffee, Gary?
You all done, Martha?
Okay, everybody, what's going on?
You were treating me like George Bailey...
...at the end of It's a Wonderful Life.
Today, I am the monkey from Outbreak.
-She's 55, Nina. -Fifty-five? Who's 55?
The woman that Nina's having the baby for.
She came into the drugstore last night.
Fifty-five? That's just wrong.
If God wanted 55-year-old women to have babies...
...he would have given us lifetime warranties
on our you-know-whats.
-Look, she's really-- -Yet, we smile when we hear...
...that a 70-year-old-man became a father for the first time.
-Why is that? -I've got this one.
If biology allows a man to become a father
until the day he dies, why should a woman
have to give up that dream at 45?
-But she's 55. It's-- -It's not natural, doc.
Well, who's to say what's natural? All species adapt.
Female dogs have nursed orphaned kittens, is that natural?
That's gotta be a New York City dog.
Out here, a dog knows he's a dog.
Look, everybody, we really don't need to--
No, no, I admit. When I first saw the mother of the child...
...I thought she was too old to be a parent for the first time.
But today I learned just how badly that woman wants a family.
And I don't think the qualifications for parenthood...
...should have anything to do with age.
What's so unnatural about wanting a family?
To me, what's unnatural is not wanting one.
And let's not forget about Nina.
If she can use this money...
...to keep her husband home a few more weeks a year...
...then she hasn't just helped to create a family...
...she's helped to save her own.
-And by that, I mean to say-- -Andy, please. God.
[DOOR SLAMS]
On second thought...
...maybe I will be eating here.
HARRY: Hmm.
Wonder what they're talking about?
Well, no. I don't care.
It's probably not that exciting.
It looks exciting because of all the wild gesticulating...
...and massive hair flippage that's going on.
You'd think they're solving the world's energy crisis,
or better yet, revealing their secret crushes.
That's what they want us to think.
My guess is they're debating which lip gloss
has the best flavor.
They come in flavors?
That? That is exactly what I'm talking about.
Case in point.
Look, he's talking to that Wendell freak.
He's new here. He's just trying to meet people, that's all.
Amy, sweetie, we know you feel sorry that his mom died.
And you have a thing for him and everything, but--
What? I don't have a thing for him.
Whatever, the point is, he's not gonna fit in at my party.
And then I'll feel all lame, like I'm having a loser party...
...because Eddie Munster isn't having fun?
And it's my birthday, I shouldn't have to worry
about other people having fun.
-Except, you know, us. -He's lame.
We just think you can do better, that's all.
I am not trying to do anything. I already have a boyfriend.
And we love Colin too, and he's totally gonna get better.
So if you don't "like him" like him...
...you won't care if we just uninvite him.
It's not that I care. I just-- I think it's mean.
We're not gonna be mean about it.
Do we ever do anything mean to someone's face?
KAYLA: Yeah. -Come on.
Wet 'n' Wild has a fantastic Pina Colada flavor.
It's like taking a Caribbean cruise
every time your lips touch theirs.
You're making me uncomfortable, Wendell.
Goth Guy. Got a sec?
Here's the thing. We totally want you
to come to Kayla's party but--
Yeah, but my mom said I can only invite 12 people.
And it's not Amy's fault, because she didn't even know.
-But, you know, it's a Mom rule. -Which I'd break.
-If she could. KAYLA: But you see I can't.
PAGE: We are so sorry.
-Oh, I completely understand. KAYLA: We knew you would.
That was easy.
[Teenage Fanclub singing "If I Never See You Again"]
♪ If I never see you again ♪
♪ You will stay in my mind ♪
♪ We've only got a lifetime ♪
♪ We've only got a lifetime ♪
♪ If I never see you again ♪
♪ You will stay in my mind ♪
♪ If I never see you again ♪
♪ You will stay in my mind ♪
♪ We've only got a lifetime ♪
Can't be.
♪ We've only got a lifetime.. ♪♪
Walter.
I'm gonna give you a thorough colonoscopy when I get back.
Hold it.
-Why didn't you take the cookie? -I don't want it.
-Well, give me my bookmark back. -Get lost.
It was a gift, from my mother.
It comes from my favorite museum in New York City.
And I can't get another one.
Why don't you ask Daddy to buy the stupid museum?
We don't live there anymore, okay?
And my mother, she's never gonna be able to take me there again.
Just take whatever you want. But not that, please.
Come any closer and I'll smash you like a bug. I mean it.
And I swear, you tell Mrs. Violet,
your little bookmark gets flushed.
Alright, are we ready? Alright, everybody, first positions.
Ephram?
[PLAYING TCHAIKOVSKY'S "SWAN LAKE"]
And, plie.
-I've to talk to you. -You can talk all you want.
-I don't have to listen. -If you just let me explain.
Explain why your friends are total ***...
...or why you choose to be friends with them?
BRENDA: And cambre forward.
Straight backs. Stretch those arms, ladies, stretch.
AMY: They weren't always like that.
I've known them forever. They didn't start this way.
As the bitchiness emerged, you chose to ignore it
and follow along. Not unlike the Nazis.
BRENDA: Heels. Keep your heels down.
Not everyone's a loner, Ephram.
Some people like having friends,
even if they're difficult at times.
Hey, if you prefer quantity over quality, that's your problem.
That's it, feel the stretch. Stretch, extend, good.
I don't agree with what they did.
If you weren't scowling all the time...
...people wouldn't feel the need to disinvite you.
Right, it's my fault.
I should take up football and cow-tipping.
Then your friends would like me.
I'd be the most popular boy in school.
Amy, is there a problem?
This music is totally messed up. There's nothing to keep time to.
Well, it sounds fine to me. He's improving.
Not for me, he's all over the place.
Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better?
[PLAYING FASTER]
No, no? How about this?
[PLAYING JAZZY VARIATION]
What about dead swans in the lake?
[PLAYING SOMBERLY]
You don't have a problem with the music,
just the loser who's playing it, right?
[GIRL LAUGHING]
What just happened?
Aah! Damn it.
Well, looks like you got the last laugh, Walter.
There's no sea, there's no breeze.
There's more wood in my hand than in your frigging boat.
Next time, remind me to take the steaks.
[GRUNTS]
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
Hope you're watching this, Julia.
Hope you're getting a big kick out of this.
Because this is for you, sweetheart.
That's right, Mrs. Brown.
Your whole family left their civilized life
in a civilized city.
And moved to some godforsaken mountain town...
...because your train stopped here in 1964...
...and you fell in love with some
purple mountains and some fluffy clouds.
But you didn't know this town, Julia.
You didn't meet the people.
Because you didn't get past the gift shop!
I moved into a snow globe!
Oh, God.
What am I doing here?!
-I need a new jacket. -What about the one you've got?
-It was stolen. -What do you mean?
DELIA: I know who took it. He won't give it back.
You went to school today without your jacket? I didn't notice.
-Duh. -Eat your pizza.
Who stole your jacket?
-The same kid who took my yo-yo. -Your yo-yo?
At first, I let him take stuff as I thought he'd be my friend.
But now he just takes whatever he wants.
Just because you want people to like you
doesn't mean you give everything away.
Then how come you don't charge your patients?
-That's very different. -Go on.
This boy is stealing from your sister.
Either you or I will have to talk to Miss Violet--
Forget it. He's a bully. Gotta kick his butt.
-That's how you deal with them. -Not true.
There's a proper way to deal with the situation.
-He took Mom's bookmark. -And that's to kick his butt.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Evening, doc. Got your message, you're all done with the boat.
Ephram, Delia.
This is Mr. Cunningham, one of my patients...
...who let me borrow his Sea Breeze.
A real delight, Walter.
You might wanna patch it next time
with something more than earwax.
Oh, sprung a leak, did you? Ooh.
Gino Chang's. He works magic with that crust.
I'm glad you came over. I was gonna come by after dinner...
-...and apologize profusely. -Andy.
I really screwed up. I should never have said anything.
Don't know what came over me. Got caught up in the moment.
You can make it up to me by giving me a ride.
Ride. Where?
To the hospital. How close are you?
-Close. -Okay. Delia.
Finish your dinner. Ephram, come with me.
Why?
If we don't make it. I'll need your help.
-Wait a second. -Don't argue. Go grab the keys.
-Walter, would you watch Delia? -No can do. I watch Oz tonight.
Remember what you said about taking and not giving in return?
Here's your chance to give. Watch my daughter, please.
And you're watching the Wizard of Oz, you got it?
-That Oz gives me nightmares. -Me too.
[NINA GROANING AND BREATHING HEAVILY]
-Dad, maybe you need to stop. ANDY: We can't stop.
-You alright? -Should've called an ambulance.
No. No. No, no ambulance.
I'm not having my baby in an ambulance.
How do you feel about a donut shop?
[GROANS]
NINA: Why are we stopping? This isn't happening.
[NINE GROANS]
-Oh, no, we're closed. -She needs medical attention.
-Yeah, we're closed. -We're not here for crullers.
-She's about to give birth. -No way. I just mopped.
-Give me your shoelace. -What?
Shoelace, now! Then, I want you to go into that kitchen...
...find a pot, fill it with water, and boil it.
Find some scissors and toss them into the pot.
If not scissors, then a knife. Anything with a serrated edge.
If they have any aprons, a baker's smock, bring it out.
I need towels, gloves, mitts, whatever they got, now go.
Hey, you're not allowed back there.
Someone should call Sarah.
RICHIE: Who's Sarah? -The baby's mother.
Are you people from around here?
We could be fined for this. This county has a strict health code.
Yeah. How long you been using ants as chocolate sprinkles?
-Where are the knives? -Uh, all we have are spatulas.
-What about this? Will this do? -If you're making a custard.
ANDY: Ephram, where are those towels?
NINA: Aah! -Give me another pot.
-What size? -Big enough for me to barf in.
Ouch. Back on the Boardwalk.
Oh, I'd feel sorry for you, but I enjoy winning too much.
I have nothing left to mortgage. You've wiped me out.
Then, you owe me another side of fries.
Forget it. You cheat. I see you stacking those Chance cards.
Your hands aren't as quick as they used to be.
-Wanna start a new game? -Nah.
Come on. I'll let you be the thimble.
Don't do it, Irv, she's a killer.
EDNA: Hey. Aren't you supposed to be at some party?
I decided not to go, but I couldn't stay home...
...because mom would bug me about how I have to be social.
And I can't sit around moping about Colin.
You're not moping.
You're gonna have a bowl of ice cream with your grandparents.
-Thanks, Irv. -Bring extra ketchup.
Dream on, cheater.
[CHUCKLING]
You know, the only time you remind me of your father...
...is when you got a sour *** on.
Spill it, Grover.
My friends, they basically pulled a Heathers on me.
Mm, I see.
No, I don't. What does that mean?
They uninvited a friend of mine to their party...
...because they don't think he's popular enough.
And when I tried to talk to him about it, explain everything--
He blew up at me.
Well, his feelings were hurt. That's normal, don't you think?
I didn't wanna hurt him.
They've been my friends since second grade. What was I to do?
Never mind, I know.
I shouldn't have let them treat him like that.
It's not easy to care about someone...
...when the whole world is telling you not to.
You have to live your own life, Amy.
Trust your instincts.
They're pretty good.
Must be my genes.
That and a bladder like a yak.
-Grandma. -Ha-ha-ha.
-Thank you, doc. -You're welcome.
MAN: You okay?
We'll have you there in no time.
An egg whisk?
So...
...how many babies have you delivered?
This would be my first.
[BELL RINGS]
-You have a death wish? -No, but I have a new choker.
-Give it back. -I will.
After you return what's mine.
You need a friend just as much as I do, Magilla.
You're just too scared to show it.
So I heard you were, like, Mr. Midwife last night.
Well, I prefer Junior Resident, but it was pretty cool.
Nina was lucky to have you guys there.
It was mostly my dad. I basically supplied the shoelace.
You know, cut the cord.
So.
-How was the party? -I didn't go.
You didn't?
Why not?
I think you know why.
You scare me, Ephram.
That doesn't sound good.
No, no. I-- I think it is. See....
When you first got here, I know I got to know you...
...for all of the wrong reasons.
Friendship wasn't exactly at the top of my list.
But, as it turns out, you're really funny and weird.
And now you're, like, this guy in my life that I care about.
Does that make any sense?
Define weird.
You just need to cut me some slack once in a while.
Define slack.
I can't believe I put you and Ephram through this.
I was counting on my husband being here to help.
-Where is he? -Phoenix.
He was supposed to come home after St. Louis.
His boss was gonna offer Arizona to another salesman.
He insisted on taking it. He's very ambitious.
[ANDY CHUCKLES]
Yeah.
I'm familiar with the type.
-Nina-- -He's a great man.
Can't wait for you to meet him.
I was hoping he'd be here for this. I guess I should've known.
HARRY: Hello, anybody home? -Come on in.
-Hello there. -Dr. Abbott, what brings you by?
Rose baked her traditional apple cake for the birth.
Thought that was only for your patients.
No. It's for friends too.
Thank you.
Good evening, doctor.
Well, congratulations on your first doorstep delivery.
-As we like to say around here. -Thank you.
If you wanna break records, you've to top...
...my delivery of Jane DeSeife's triplets...
...in the women's hosiery aisle at the local Stop & Shop.
Just give me a few years.
Uh, perhaps this isn't the best time to address this matter.
When last the three of us found ourselves in close quarters...
...you mentioned you were without a family doctor.
No, she has a doctor. He's standing next to you.
Boys, boys, hello.
One of us just gave birth. So maybe you could take it outside?
The words she said were...
-...you are no longer-- -I am her family doctor.
She said-- No, she said....
You need a real doctor's bag.
I do, don't I?
[PHONE RINGS]
-How's Nina? -Oh, very tired.
EPHRAM: Delia.
You got a phone call.
-Who's Magilla? -The kid who stole your yo-yo.
Great, what does he want now?
I think he wants to be my friend.
Your friend?
It's complicated.
Ah.
I don't know how she did it.
I don't know how anyone could just hand over a baby.
Maybe she was more focused on someone else's gain...
...not her loss.
Still.
I don't envy that kid.
Why?
Well, think about it.
When he's 10, his mother's a senior citizen.
When he's 15, she's what, 70?
One slip in the tub, she breaks a hip.
Could be dead before he graduates high school.
You're right.
Then again, she may live to be 100.
Maybe that kid will be luckier than you.