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Have a good workout!
Hahaha. Crazy night?
Yeah. I was up till like 4 in the morning watching the X Factor. There was this 13 year
old girl who killed it-
And he kept asking me for my number and so finally I caved and gave it to him.
Wait, wait wait, what?
Hey ladies.
Oh hey Jimmy.
Ah, the office romance.
When you work with someone, there's a 75% chance that the two of you will fall in love.
That's what happened with me and Jimmy. We started working at the gym at the same time
last year. There was instant chemistry between us and like co-stars of a Hollywood blockbuster
we were destined to be a couple.
So we flirted with each other for about a year and then he asked Mee out.
Mee's an exchange student from Japan.
She wandered in here one day to sign up for Zumba and before I knew what was happening,
I'd been Anistoned. Suddenly Jimmy was all about Mee and I was left with front row seats
to watch their stupid romance bloom like a stupid beautiful flower. Ugch. Whatever, I'm
over him.
I had so much sex this weekend!
Oh um that's cool.
Yeah. Just tons and tons of sex. It was like sexy time all day every day. Bow chica wow
wow.
So, how was your weekend?
Come on Randy! Those muscles aren't going to grow themselves!
So, what was that all about at the front desk?
What are you talking about?
Everyone wants my number. I'm having so much sex.
Okay.
You definitely crossed the line from TMI to TMFI.
TMFI. Too much false information. TMFI is worse than TMI because not only are you over
sharing, but you're over sharing stuff that isn't true. And that's kinda sad. You don't
want to get caught giving TMFI.
That might have been TMI, but it definitely wasn't TMFI.
Okay fine I didn't have tons of sex this weekend. It's just that Jimmy and I used to have a
thing -
Wait, wait, wait you and Jimmy hooked up?!
No, but there was a very long period of very intense flirting
Oh God.
We were supposed to be Jellie.
What?
Jimmy, Nellie - Jellie. I mean how perfect is it that our names actually jell together?
Aw, that is cute. Stop giving me baby push ups, Randy! Go all the way down!
But he didn't want me, so whatever. I just want to make him think that there are tons
of guys after me so that he knows that I'm over him.
Are you over him?
Of course.
If you're over him, then why are you going through all this work to make him think that
you're over him?
Because I don't want him to think that I still like him.
Well if you don't still like him then why do you care what he thinks.
I don't!
Jeez, what's with the third degree?
Sorry, it just kinda sounds like you're still into him. What do you think Randy?
Well, if you do like this guy, there's nothing wrong with admitting that. Because, as they
say, you never lose by loving. You only lose by holding back.
Are you calling me a loser, Randy?
No I -
You're a loser!
I wasn't calling you a loser!
And your arms are skinny!
I don't think your arms are that bad.
Thanks.
Maybe Brit's right. Maybe I'm not 100% over Jimmy.
And sometimes that might happen. Sometimes you'll like the guy at work and for some strange
reason he won't like you back. So, in situations like those what you should do is CRUSH those
feelings. Stomp them down until they are just a distant memory in your heart and you treat
that boy like every other co-worker!
Hey, can you pass me the stapler?
I was getting stapled last night. In my ***. By a ***!
That language is inappropriate young lady. You should be ashamed of yourself!
I'm so sorry Ms. Fienstein! Oh my God.
Nellie, don't you know that that kind of language is inappropriate?
Please don't sue me for *** harassment.
I'm so sorry. I don't know why I said that.
A young lady shouldn't say the word ***. She definitely shouldn't say *** in a gym.
I can't believe you said the word ***!
Sssh, what are you doing?!
Just letting you know that you shouldn't say ***. ***. ***!
Oh my God! The members are starting to stare.
Don't worry ladies and gentlemen. I have reprimanded the young lady and she promises never to say
*** again!
You are ridiculous! Thanks.
But if you can't crush those feelings and you can't close your heart to that boy, well,
that might not be such a bad thing.
Because, maybe there's hope for the two of you after all.
Am I late? Am I late? Did Zumba start? Hey babe!
Or not.
***!
Aaaah!
Bye Ms Fienstein. Have a good day.
You know a guy likes you if he's willing to shout "***" at an old lady for you.
That's not a thing.
Why do you hate me!