Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
How to Get Laid. It’s the reason you were created. You might as well start practicing.
You will need A functioning pair of genitals Consent and standards (optional). Step 1.
If you are a female... get laid. If you are a male, proceed to step 2. Step 2. If you
are a homosexual... get laid. If you are a heterosexual male, proceed to step 3. Step
3. Locate a woman. Don't just stand there - manipulate your lips and tongue to create
"words," which, if formed correctly, will put the woman at ease and communicate to her
that you are an affable person who knows how to speak. Step 4. Use the “words” to talk
about your massive pectoral muscles, collection of expensive sports cars, or your successful
career as a multi-hyphenate firefighter-rock star-surgeon/astronaut. Now, get laid. Should
you find these topics of conversation inapplicable, continue to step 5. Step 5. Go ahead and start
checking for any signs of encouragement that it would be appropriate for conversation to
continue. If you’re getting the green light, suggest reuniting with the woman at a later
date. Step 6. Convey to the woman in question that you would make an acceptable *** partner.
This can take weeks, months, and even years, so don’t mince words. Step 7. Get laid.
Step 8. Repeat. Did you know The people of Earth "get laid" roughly 120 million times
every single day. Please: do it responsibly.