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>> Hardaway: On tonight's
edition of "The Best Times"
you'll meet the most famous
Memphian you've never heard of.
We'll explore our own "Downton
Abbey," the Mallory Neely House.
And we'll answer the question:
Do people get happier as they
age?
[instrumental music]
♪♪♪
>> Hardaway: Funding for The
Best Times is provided by...
Since 1988 the H. W. Durham
Foundation has been focused on
aging issues -- providing grants
to programs like The Best Times
to enrich and improve the
quality of life for our older
citizens.
The Best Times is the only
monthly news magazine
exclusively for the age 50 plus
reader.
Your copy is free at over 200
locations, with important
stories and news you don't want
to miss.
The Best Times is always the
best.
Trezevant, a lifecare community,
a celebration of life.
The responsible decision for
your well-being now and in the
long-term.
And being responsible has never
been such a hoot.
TrezevantManor-dot-org.
[instrumental music]
♪♪♪
>> Hardaway: Hello, I'm Cris
Hardaway.
Welcome to this edition of "The
Best Times," a series that looks
at life after fifty.
Chances are you've never heard
of Memphian Phoebe Fairgrave
Omlie even though she was the
first woman in America to hold a
civilian pilot's license and was
a friend and confidante of
Amelia Earheart.
Historian Janann Sherman spent
17 years researching and writing
the biography of Phoebe Omlie, a
woman who spent her life Walking
On Air.
[instrumental music]
♪♪♪
>> Sherman: Phoebe Omlie was
born in 1902 and right out of
high school, decided she wanted
to fly, figured out a way to get
her hands on an airplane and
taught herself to do stunts
hoping to sell them to the
movies.
>> Hardaway: Phoebe Fairgrave
was still a teenager in 1921
when she met WWI veteran Vernon
Omlie.
He was the only pilot at the
airport willing to teach a woman
how to fly.
They teamed up to fly stunts for
movies and go barnstorming
across the Mid-West, with Phoebe
dancing atop the wing of
Vernon's plane.
>> Sharman: She was both brave
and very determined about what
she wanted to do.
But it was scary times.
You know, there weren't any
safety belts or, you know, no
gear of any kind.
She put suction cups on the
bottom of her sneakers in order
to help her keep her footing on
the wings.
It was not very good life
expectancy for that sort-of
work.
Plus, it didn't pay worth a
hoot.
Again, in Vernon's book, he's
keeping track of money in and
money out.
And sometimes they didn't clear
ten bucks for a month.
>> Hardaway: The 1922 flying
season ended at the Mid-South
Fair in Memphis, and so did
Phoebe's barnstorming career.
Phoebe and Vernon had to pawn
their luggage to get enough
money to pay their hotel bill.
They had gotten married earlier
that year and Vernon felt that
Memphis offered good
opportunities, so they settled
here.
By 1926 they had teamed with
other air enthusiasts to open
Memphis' first airport.
Vernon and Phoebe established
Mid-South Airways offering
flying lessons, cargo transport,
crop dusting and airplane sales.
>> Sharman: And they're trying
to, to build a legitimate
business.
What really helps them,
actually, is the flood of 1927.
But now, this is a way to
establish a useful legitimacy.
And they were flying the mail
from Little Rock.
They were picking up people
stranded on sand bars.
They were bringing in medicine.
This was really, really
dangerous work.
And all of a sudden, people
start rethinking about what this
flying stuffs all about.
>> Hardaway: That same year the
world's most famous aviator
stopped in Memphis on his cross-
country celebratory tour
promoting aviation.
Within two years of that visit
Memphis opened its first
municipal airport with Vernon
Omlie as manager.
In 1928 Phoebe became the first
woman to enter the Ford
Reliability Tour, a six thousand
mile cross-country exhibition of
aviation safety.
She flew alone.
>> Sharman: She refused to take
anybody, including a navigator,
because she said, "If there's a
man along, they'll think he did
all the flying.
"So, I'm going alone."
And so, she does and becomes the
first woman to fly over the
Rocky Mountains in a small
plane, over the great American
desert as they called it in
those days.
It was very risky stuff.
>> Hardaway: The late twenties
and early thirties was the
heyday for air racing in
America.
The National Air Race of 1929
marked the first time women were
allowed to compete.
Phoebe flew alongside twenty
other women, including Amelia
Earheart, and she won her class.
After the 1929 event Phoebe
became one of the founders of
the Ninety-Nines, the first
organization of female pilots in
the country.
Amelia Earheart was elected as
the organization's first
president.
>> Sharman: She and Amelia were
probably as close as anybody was
to Amelia.
Poor Amelia.
She was married to GP Putnam who
was a big PR guy.
And he just made sure she had
the latest, greatest, largest,
fastest airplanes but never was
enough time to get checked out
in them.
Never was enough time to really
learn how to fly them.
>> Hardaway: In 1937 Amelia was
planning her fateful around the
world flight when Phoebe paid
her a visit.
>> Sharman: She was very, very
concerned about Amelia and that
last trip Amelia made to the
point where she went to Miami
the night before Amelia took off
and said, "Don't do it."
>> Hardaway: Phoebe's greatest
air racing success came in 1931
when the National Air Races
allowed women to compete in a
handicapped format against men.
She beat a field of 63 entrants,
including 46 men, to take the
title.
>> Sharman: And that was big.
That was really big.
She was national news everywhere
when she won that.
And it came with a big purse.
But mostly what she won was the
publicity.
And it's Eleanor Roosevelt who
sends her a telegram and said,
"I'd like you to consider
campaigning for my husband who's
running for president in 1932."
And so, she does.
>> Hardaway: Phoebe flew around
the country, campaigning for
Roosevelt.
Her work and her friendship with
Eleanor Roosevelt earned her a
political appointment in the new
administration.
In 1933 Phoebe became the first
woman to hold an executive job
in federal aeronautics, but the
transition to a desk job wasn't
an easy one.
>> Sharman: It was a difficult
position to be in.
She wasn't trained as a
bureaucrat.
She was a pilot.
A woman in a man's world, all of
those sorts of things were very
difficult.
Still, one of the things that
surprised me that I found in the
evidence is that her expertise
was very much valued.
And she, in fact, worked really
closely with engineers at
Langley Field in aircraft design
and safety features and that
sort of thing.
They really paid attention to
her.
>> Hardaway: Unfortunately it
didn't take Phoebe long to hit
the "glass ceiling".
>> Sharman: The only way she
thought she could challenge that
was just to be as competent as
she could to demonstrate that
she could do this job and do it
well.
But it's very frustrating when
it's not recognized.
>> Hardaway: In 1936 Vernon died
in a plane crash as a passenger
aboard a commercial flight.
After his death Phoebe stopped
flying.
She remained a bureaucrat
throughout the war years, but
became disillusioned with the
Truman administration and its
negative attitude toward civil
aviation.
In January of 1952, frustrated
and embittered, Phoebe resigned
from government and walked away
from aviation altogether.
>> Sharman: She becomes
extremely right-wing.
She goes way over to what would
now be the Tea Party.
At those days, it was the John
Birch Society.
I mean, the Tea Party and the
ultra-right is not a new
phenomenon in America.
It goes.
It just has different names.
But she becomes very much
enamored by that and ends up
sort of devoting her last years
to fighting those kinds of
fights.
>> Hardaway: The last twenty
years of Phoebe's life are
almost a mystery, as she becomes
increasingly obsessed with anti-
communism, states rights issues
and right-wing politics.
>> Sharman: For about 12 years,
she just traveled from place to
place.
She would stay with old aviation
friends.
She would stop in a town and put
an ad in the paper to be a
companion for elderly ladies and
do light house work.
And she would just keep moving.
She finally ends up in
Indianapolis, Indiana in 1970.
And she dies five years later in
a flea bag hotel, the kind of
place where you keep your milk
on the windowsill to keep it
cool.
That's very, very, very sad-
completely alone, completely
astringed, broke, victim of lung
cancer, poverty.
What a sad end.
>> Hardaway: Phoebe Omlie was
buried alongside her husband
Vernon here in Memphis at Forest
Hills Cemetery.
One obituary writer wrote,
"Without a plane, she was like
a bird with a broken wing."
[instrumental music]
♪♪♪
>> Hardaway: One of the most
popular shows on PBS is "Downton
Abbey," the chronicle of an
aristocratic British family
transitioning from the Victorian
era into the modern world.
Memphis has its own "Downton
Abbey," albeit a smaller
version, in the Mallory Neely
House, a perfectly preserved
museum that offers visitors a
window into the world of
Victorian era Memphis.
[instrumental music]
♪♪♪
>> Hardaway: In 1852 wealthy
banker Isaac Kirtland bought
three acres of land on what was
then the outskirts of Memphis
and built a two story home for
his family.
In 1883 a cotton merchant named
James Columbus Neely bought the
house and began the ornate
renovations that have created
the Mallory Neely house that we
see today.
>> Tucker: The collections, the
furnishings, the interiors are
all original to the house and
the family.
And so, um, what we see in the
house is as the Neelys had it
decorated at the turn of the
century.
And it's one intact authentic
piece.
It's not a conglomeration of
sort of period or of the style
of kind of era.
They are the actual piece.
They're the actual, you know,
collections that the family had.
So, it's like they walked out
down the street to go to church
or something and we get to step
in to their house and see how
they lived.
>> Hardaway: It's remarkable to
find any Victorian era home with
so many of its original fixtures
intact.
>> Tucker: I guess one of the
most striking things is when you
first come in to the house.
The entry doors themselves, the
stained glass windows, um, are
from the World's Fair from
Chicago.
And also, when you walk in to
the entry room with entry hall,
which is the grand hall.
This is where you, in Victorian
times, you show your prominence
and it sets the tone for the
house.
It was a very public space, very
elegant and opulent.
And you see up the grand
staircase the stained glass
window on the landing.
That also was purchased by the
Neelys after the Chicago World's
Fair.
>> Hardaway: The house has 25
rooms and approximately 16,000
square feet.
The Italianate architecture and
high-Victorian style are evident
everywhere.
Look up and you'll see frescoes
on the ceiling and elaborate
plasterwork.
That's not burl wood inlay on
the doors.
It's faux wood grain painting
which was very popular with the
Victorians.
The double parlor is filled with
imported furniture and expensive
carpets, all designed to impress
visitors.
Two massive gaslight chandeliers
hang from the ceiling -- a
remnant of the days before
Thomas Edison invented the light
bulb.
And in one corner is an
embroidered silk screen from
China that the Neely's purchased
at the St. Louis World's Fair in
1904.
>> Tucker: Each of the four
panels represents one of the
seasons of the year.
And it's a teak wood frame.
And that piece was actually
chosen to be sent to the Saint
Louis World's Fair by the last
emperor of China.
>> Hardaway: Portraits of James
Neely and his wife Mary overlook
the dining room table with
seating for up to 24 people.
The family would dress for
dinner and be served by a staff
of seven.
And the servants made sure the
business of the house ran
smoothly.
>> Tucker: The house was heated
by coal fire places, 20 coal
fire places throughout the
house.
And that took a lot of work to
keep all that going.
And the rooms had servants call
buttons, bells to push to have
someone come and see what your
need was.
Um, there's actually, um, there
was a mechanism under the floor
in the dining room where the
master of the house could press
it down with his foot to call
someone to come attend to the
table.
>> Hardaway: Behind the main
house is the servant's quarters.
Prior to emancipation this was
the home to the house's slaves.
Little is known about their
names or their lives.
The rooms upstairs are not as
elegant as their downstairs
counterparts.
After the turn of the century,
the Neely's youngest daughter
Daisy married cotton merchant
Barton Mallory and their family
lived on the second floor.
Daisy's sister Pearl and her
family occupied the third floor.
The last resident of the house
was Daisy's daughter, Frances.
Affectionately know as Miss
Daisy, she lived in the house
with her female companion, an
African-American woman named
Annie Bess who had been a
chambermaid for Daisy's parents.
>> Tucker: After her husband
passed away and Miss Daisy's
husband passed away, um, because
they're about-Their age was only
10 years separate.
And they had known each other
for decades.
And, um, Annie Bess moved in to
the house.
It was just, um, just sort of
interesting and very, you know,
1940s, '50s Memphis-very unusual
to have an elderly, you know,
white lady and elderly black
lady both living side-by-side in
the bedrooms upstairs in the
mansion.
>> Hardaway: Daisy Neely Mallory
died in 1969 at the age of 98,
having witnessed nearly a
century of changes to the world
surrounding her home.
She wanted the house preserved
as a museum and today it stands
as one of the finest examples of
Victorian era residences in the
country.
>> Tucker: This is one place
that's been here unchanged for
160 years.
It is a moment captured in time.
[instrumental music]
♪♪♪
>> Hardaway: It was Thomas
Jefferson who penned the words,
"pursuit of happiness" in our
Declaration of Independence.
Thankfully Jefferson didn't try
to define happiness for
Americans.
That's up to us.
Are you happy?
There's a surprising body of
research that points to the
conclusion that people actually
get happier as they get older.
Maybe it takes a lifetime
pursing happiness to finally
catch up with it.
[instrumental music]
♪♪♪
>> Hardaway: Are you happier now
than when you were younger and
why or why not?
>> male: Oh, I'm happier now but
probably because I'm a little
older and a little wiser.
>> female: I'm happy now because
I'm enjoying life.
>> male: Oh, I think I'm happier
now.
I've got grandchildren.
I'm retired.
I can play with them.
And, uh, yeah, life is good.
>> female: I'm happier now in a
different way because now I know
where I am and where I'm going.
Where as when I was younger, I
wasn't sure and I was searching.
But I'm very content and very
happy.
>> female: I had a very happy
childhood but I will say I'm
probably as happy now.
>> male: I was probably happier
when I was younger.
I had better health.
>> female: I'm more content.
I'm not trying to achieve any
more.
I'm enjoying what I have.
>> female: Often times when
we're younger, we're doing
things maybe that we have to do
or we feel like we need to do.
But now, I can do what I want to
do.
And I love it.
>> female: I've learned a lot
and I know how to be happier.
>> female: It's not about
material things.
But it's about having the
relationships with your family
and your friends.
That's what makes me happy.
>> Hardaway: The Stanford Center
on Longevity identifies what
they call the "paradox of aging"
--- the recognition that we
won't live forever changes our
perspective on life in positive,
not negative, ways.
To find out more about the link
between aging and happiness I
invited two guests into our
studio.
Sarah Prosser is the
administrative assistant for the
Professional Network on Aging.
And Dr. Richard Lightsey is
associate professor of
Counseling Psychology at the
University of Memphis.
>> Hardaway: I want to begin by
asking the two of you the same
question that I asked those
people at the Germantown Senior
Expo.
Are you happier now than when
you were younger and why or why
not?
Sara, let's start with you.
>> Prosser: Well, I believe I'm
happier now because there's less
stress about, um, peer pressure.
If you were smart when you're
younger to try to save money and
be prepared for your retirement,
then your retirement should be
pleasant and enjoyable with your
friends and making your own
plans and doing as you please.
>> Hardaway: So, you're happier
now?
>> Prosser: I think I am.
>> Hardaway: Alright, and Doctor
Lightsey, how about you?
>> Lightsey: Definitely. In
fact, I've noticed every decade
I've been happier than the
previous decade.
>> Hardaway: That's interesting.
Why?
>> Lightsey: I think this
mirrors the literature quite
nicely in that I have better
social relations, deeper
friendships that I have.
I allocate my time better than I
used to, I think, doing the
things that most enjoy and that
give me the most meaning.
Um, I've met many of the goals
that I set for myself.
And for others that I haven't
yet reached like writing a great
American novel, I've kind of
toned it down a bit, you know,
to writing scholarly products
that contribute to knowledge in
the field and maybe an
occasional creative essay that I
have yet to get to.
>> Hardaway: Is it just life
experience that we're better at
life now as we get older that
makes us happier as we age?
>> Lightsey: There's quite a bit
of evidence that older adults
relative to younger adults are
less sensitive to negative life
events, sad and disturbing
music, other kinds of negative
stimulation.
And so, young people react much
more strongly.
And it's been theorized, in
fact, and there's at least-there
are at least a couple of studies
supporting it that decrease in
amygdale functioning might to
some degree account for the
lower negative affect that older
people have compared to younger
people.
I don't think that explains all
of it though because older
adults also have more positive
emotion and life satisfaction
than younger adults.
>> Hardaway: Does our definition
of happiness change as we age?
Has it changed for you?
>> Prosser: I just think we
learn the important things.
Perhaps when we're younger,
we're going lots of different
directions not knowing.
But once we know ourselves and
know what brings our joy-Joy
comes from within.
And happiness are for outer
things.
And as you grow older, you
still, if you're active, you're
still doing lots of things.
But the happiness, you don't go
helter-skelter.
You sort of, um, have a plan and
not having a time table on doing
certain things.
You can do more of what you want
when you want to do it.
>> Lightsey: Older people
experience less intense or
calmer positive feelings.
And looking in myself, I think
the happiness that I feel now is
a calmer sort of happiness than
maybe I felt at peak moments in
younger life.
>> Hardaway: Is it the fact that
we all mellow out as we age?
The highs aren't as high.
The lows aren't as low.
>> Lightsey: I think that's one
way of saying it.
Yeah, I think that's correct.
>> Hardaway: Let's talk about
health and the role that it
plays in this equation of
happiness as we age.
What factor does health play?
>> Prosser: My little theory
goes back with how you were in
your 20s when you're 80.
If you're happy then, you're
happier now even with bad
illnesses.
>> Lightsey: Health is a strong
predictor of happiness.
Healthier people tend to be
happier.
But it's also true among older
people that even though they
report bigger discrepancies
compared to younger people in
the health they want to have
that is health aspirations
versus the health they actually
have, they're still happier.
And possibly that's because
they've achieved their goals or
have downgraded their goals.
There's less of a discrepancy
between the social and
achievement related goals they
had and the ones that they've
accomplished.
And so, um, but it does look
like, if you look across people,
that older people can maintain
higher happiness despite health
problems.
And I believe, although I don't
know of evidence about that, but
some of that is about acceptance
of things, acceptance of
mortality, acceptance of
limitations, um, and just seeing
that as a natural part of life.
And compensating by finding
other things that give joy as
capacities in particular realms
diminish.
>> Hardaway: I had read this
statement, which I'll
paraphrase, but basically, it
says that happiness is a
journey-not a destination.
What do you think about that?
>> Prosser: That's good.
I like that.
>> Hardaway: Do you find that
true in your own life?
>> Prosser: Mhmm, Mhmm.
>> Lightsey: I always read the
flow literature showing that in
so far as we can immerse our
self in the stream of experience
and be here and now.
And there is evidence that older
adults are more here and now
than younger adults and that
that partly accounts for their
increased happiness.
Um, but yeah, I think the idea
of being able to flow with
experience and of happiness
being a process of learning to
immerse yourself in the here and
now and the activities that you
value and that give meaning is
very important.
>> Hardaway: I'd like to thank
both of you for being on "The
Best Times."
And I wish both of you a very
happy day.
>> Lightsey: Well, thank you.
[instrumental music]
♪♪♪
>> Hardaway: Want more
information about life after
fifty?
Go to our website, wkno-dot-org-
slash-besttimes.
And email your feedback and
story ideas to besttimes-at-
wkno-dot-org.
Thanks for watching.
I'm Cris Hardaway. Goodnight.
Funding for The Best Times is
provided by...
Trezevant, a lifecare community,
a celebration of life.
The responsible decision for
your well-being now and in the
long-term.
And being responsible has never
been such a hoot.
TrezevantManor-dot-org.
The Best Times is the only
monthly news magazine
exclusively for the age 50 plus
reader.
Your copy is free at over 200
locations, with important
stories and news you don't want
to miss.
The Best Times is always the
best.
Since 1988 the H. W. Durham
Foundation has been focused on
aging issues -- providing grants
to programs like The Best Times
to enrich and improve the
quality of life for our older
citizens.
[instrumental music]
♪♪♪