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{MUSIC}
{Theme Song} Shelf Life!
Shelf Life!
The world needs a team of braver, smarter, faster heroes!
HERO MAN: So I said to him, "I realize you saved the Insecticons' home world
but it's like, 50 parsecs away so who cares?"
BUG BOY: Shut the front door! You did not!
HERO MAN: Actually I did. Oh man, everybody was talking about it - especially the girls.
HERO LASS: Not this one.
SAMURAI SNAKE: Here he comes...
BUG BOY: Oh-oh, we're back. HERO LASS: Quiet on set!
BUG BOY: And... action. {SOUND EFFECT} Beep
HERO LASS: Lose the hand or lose the hand.
HERO MAN: Oh I'm sorry, am I making you uncomfortable, Hero Lass?
HERO LASS: Nope.
BUG BOY: Dude, seriously...
HERO MAN: Sorry, no can do. I'm afraid my hands are tied - to her ***.
SAMURAI SNAKE: He's gonna pull back a stub as soon as the kid leaves
HERO MAN: What did he say?
HERO LASS: He said he's afraid of what's gonna happen to your balls as soon as the kid leaves the room.
{door closing} BUG BOY: And... we're out.
HERO LASS: God, you are such a pig!
HERO MAN: What? You're just saying that cause you want the sex with me.
HERO LASS: I would sooner staple my *** together.
HERO MAN: Oh, pshaw. you dig me. Any book on psychology will tell you that.
HERO LASS: What?!
HERO MAN: Hero Man, Hero Lass... I mean come on, we're practically already married.
HERO LASS: We are brother and sister, you idiot.
HERO MAN: What?!... Really?
BUG BOY: Are you *** kidding me?
HERO LASS: From the uncharted edge of the Forever Dimension comes Hero Man, champion of eternity
HERO LASS: and his half-sister Hero Lass. It was written on our box, ***!
BUG BOY: Wow... uncomfortable!
HERO MAN: Thank goodness we have such strange and legally ambiguous customs on our hero home world.
HERO LASS: No, we don't!
BUG BOY: What kind of sick people are you?
HERO MAN: We're not sick! It's clearly stated in all of the relevant documents.
HERO LASS: If you could read I might believe you.
HERO MAN: Touché. I concede this round to Miss D-cups.
{MUSIC} Shelf Life!
Shelf Life!
Shelf life
The world needs a team of braver, smarter, faster heroes!