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Froggy went a-courtin’ and he did ride, uh huh
Froggy went a-courtin’ and he did ride, uh huh
Froggy went a-courtin’ and he did ride All the way down to the countryside
Froggy went a-courtin’ and he did ride, uh huh.
I like froggies.
I’ve noticed you’re not responding to any of my Mexicans. I have been sending you Mexicans all day and you have said nothing.
God, my mouth’s really dry.
You’re not saying a whole lot. You answered the phone in a really strange way, too.
What’s the deal with the beep, did you hang up on me?
Hello? Hello?
Alright, I’ll call back, maybe we lost connection. Bye.
[hangs up, silence]
Why do you keep answering the phone the same way and then beeping?
You need to quit the beeping.
So…
This girl was telling me...
That The Art of War is not a good parenting manual.
I got news for that ***...
and any other ***...
and some other ***...
and that *** over there...
and that *** on TV...
that The Art of war is the best parenting manual ever.
It teaches them how to be strong, stoic, self-reliant...
And it keeps them from blowing donkeys.
I mean, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Really?
I mean, I think that’s all that we want is for our daughters not to become, like, performers in a donk-
in a Tijuana donkey show.
I don’t like Tijuana donkey shows.
[sigh]
My mouth is really really itchy.
Like, I am really, really scared...
That I'm gonna, like, go into the bathroom...
And take a razor...
And cut out my gums, because they itch really really bad right now.
Like, poison ivy bad.
[sigh]
So, like...
I've decided that, since you're my friend...
I'm gonna buy you a gift.
And I know you're not speaking to me right now because you're all mad and ***...
But hear me out.
I'm gonna buy you and your family a koala.
Now, I would send you and your family to Australia, but that's expensive.
But, I can buy you a koala bear.
And he could walk around your house...
And look cute...
And eat eucalyptus...
And, like...
Sniff your crotch...
And, y'know...
Other things.
[sigh]
God, I just hope...
[unintelligible] ... The *** chairs.
The things that hold the chairs up and make a chair a chair.
[sigh]
Y'know?
Y'know how that goes, right?
You're not sayin' much.
I wish you'd talk more.
I know you're pissed off...
But, y'know...
You wanna shoot a bald eagle.
[groan]
I love you.
Like a goat (?).
Oh, God, my *** balls!
My balls and my *** lips!
Why do my balls itch?
My balls itch so *** bad.
So do my gums.
Holy ***.
I guess you hung up on me again...
I'll call back in a little bit, bye.
[hang up, silence]
Why do you keep beeping at me and ***?
You just go...
BEEEEEEEP!
***!
I thought we had that dream vacation to New Jersey finally planned.
I always wanted to go to New Jersey.
[sigh]
I think I'm gonna cry now.
[whimpering] I'm never gonna get to go to New Jersey...
[possible fake crying] I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GOOOOOO!!
[unintelligible crying, possibly "I'M NEVER GONNA GET TO GO NOW!"]
[more whine-assing and crying, then a cough before the audio cuts out]