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Chronologically, you're 16 today.
Physically,
You're still 15.
[ sighs ]
Hopeless.
Nope. I look exactly the same as I have since summer.
Utterly forgettable.
No, I didn't expect to wake up transformed.
I just thought that turning 16 would be so major...
That I'd wake up with an improved mental state that would show on my face.
All it shows is that I don't have any sort of a tan left.
[ sighs ] I better get downstairs.
My family's probably pissed off I haven't let them wish me happy birthday yet.
All right. I'll see you at school.
You need four inches of bod and a great birthday.
Where's my briefcase ? [ mike ] where'd you leave it ?
Don't be a smart-***. Okay, I'll be a dumb-***.
[ sara ] you already are.
Okay, where's sam ? Where's my briefcase ?
Sam ? Allow me, brenda. Hey, birth defect !
[ brenda ] you missed breakfast again.
[ dad ] it wasn't my idea to give her her own phone line.
[ sara, mike arguing ] [ brenda ] grab a doughnut.
It's small. It's brown. It's made of leather.
It has my initials on it. And I believe... That's it.
[ car horn honking ] don't forget the grandparents are coming this afternoon.
Are we still having dinner with the rice chex ? Rizczechs. 8:00 at the club.
You'd better learn their names. As of tomorrow, they're family.
That's a lovely thought. Hmm.
When it comes your turn to get married, do me a favor. Elope.
Who'd marry her ? Mr. T.
I'm sorry, you'll have to buy lunch today. I didn't have time to fix your carrots.
She's only eating carrots to increase the size of her ***.
Mister, you had better shape up, or you will miss your sister's wedding.
Promise ?
Now, don't give me that pouty look of yours.
You can eat your carrots when you get home.
That's it ? You don't have anything else to say to me today ?
What would you like me to say, sam ?
Come on now, honey. You're gonna miss the bus.
Have a good day.
I can't believe this.
They *** forgot my birthday.