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death of Uriah and it had faded into oblivion. He had gotten to the place where it was no longer a part of his mental repertoire
He just allowed it to fade. I don't know about you, but I have taken stands sometimes against a certain behavior
Once I did it the first time, I don't know if you have ever said you would never do a thing. You stood up against doing it and
you just held your position, I'll never do this. You fought it for years and years then for some reason you gave into it and
then the first time, O Lord have mercy, I couldn't tell you. The first time you recriminated a little while and you were hurt.
Then because you did it the first time you were weaker the second time. By the 4th time, uh-uh, 5th time, then by the 10th time
uh-uh, now you just do it. That's it. When he took the man's wife he must have had some kind of chagrin. He just forgot it after
awhile. Now he is just living with the man's wife and the man is dead. He's just going on like nothing happened. If he's anything
like you and me, he doesn't want to remember that he had a man killed. He just wants to enjoy the Bathsheba of his delight.
Let the man die; lets forget that. When Nathan came by, he had to jog his self-consciousness. Human beings have a way of becoming
comfortable with being wrong. I wish I could talk to you here. I found in my own life, preacher though I maybe, Bishop Noel
there is a tendency and a proclivity to allow yourself to live on a level that you justify, suppress and forget. Often times
you forget what becomes the history. As it becomes more historical, it becomes less conscious. Now I'm doing it and I'm not
thinking about it. Its not bought to my consciousness that I'm wrong. I got used to being wrong. I got comfortable with being
wrong. Every now and then in the middle of my wrongness, if God is going to change me, he's got to awaken me and bring me to the
place where I realize that no matter how comfortable I've become, I'm still ugly. I feel the Holy Ghost. I'm going to have some
church. I tell you what, when I get done preaching, you all pray for me. You must understand the word must engage us in
our personal history. This is a form of a meeting in which reflection becomes an integral part of transformation.
When you're around people who do not reflect, I heard the psalmist say, "In thy word do I meditate both day and night."
You cannot meditate day and night in the word and it not cause you to reflect upon your behavior. You know you're in bad shape
when you can talk to me any kind of way and just walk away without reflection and sit down and eat without indigestion
after you have talked to me like that. It seems like you need to have somebody jog you to understand that behavior is uncalled
for. I would hate to have a mate in a house who just does whatever they feel without reflection. Don't you ever think sometimes
that maybe having a wet rag in the bed when I get in it. Can't you think that it bothers me when I feel this cold thing up in
the bed. Now I know you had to wipe your feet before you got in the bed, but baby please put the rag somewhere else other than in the
bed. I mean reflect upon your behavior. You all excuse me, I just remembered my grandmother's tale. You've got to understand
that reflection is a part of transformation. When Nathan said to David, "Thou art the man." You said the man should be killed
because of his actions, well "Thou art the man." Its so easy for you to pass judgment on others, but when you are the one that
needs the judgment, you need to reflect upon your behavior. Ah God I feel it here. If you don't do it by faith, you'll do it by
heartbreak. If you don't do it by faith, you'll do it by 30-40 years sitting in the jail. You'll have enough time to reflect on
how you treat that woman when you get yourself locked up. You'll have some time to reflect on how you treat that man
when you're out the door in a divorce and got to make life for yourself. I don't need cataclysmic extirpations
to get me to change. All I need is a word from the Lord to get me to change my way of living. I feel something helping me here.
If there is no reflection there is no transformation. You need folk you can regurgitate their historical behavior
put it on the standard measured by the word of God and declare I have been wrong. You see what Sigmund Freud did when he bought
the unconscious urges into play and talked about man being controlled by his drives and wishes over his will.
He bought the 21st century endemic where people think they can blame on everything on somebody else. You have responsibility for yourself.
Don't sit around trying to change everybody, you need to change yourself. I feel like preaching. Can I say something to you?
If you're not going to change, quit complaining. I feel it. If you're not going to change it [applause], you might as well go on
and praise God and make the adjustment. If you aren't going to leave him, hush. I feel like preaching in here. I'm going to preach
till the devil gets mad. I got him right by the throat right about now. I can tell. I can feel something rising up in somebody.
We're going to set it down after it rise up. I feel like having church. Have I told you to touch your neighbor yet?
Its not time; we got some work to do. Every triumph somebody said, Alice Balaint, who is writing from a Freudian perspective
says something that is marvelous to reflection. She said, "Learning in part is an act of remembered love.
That every triumph in learning is made possible, she insists, upon remembered response to investments of love by those
who have nurtured the individual." She is making a powerful point, i.e., when you walk out of here having learned something
it was because it was given to you through love. Most of us try to forget what we have learned through hatred or selfishness
The first time you made love to somebody who was selfish, who cared nothing about you, but *** and completely destroyed you.
The first thing therapy does is cause you to remember it, so you can deal with it. If you don't deal with it, it will destroy
everything about your future. That's why theology and therapy are the same. God didn't send you here this morning not to forget
where you're coming from. He says, "Lets go back there and lets deal with it so I can fix your history and change your future."
Ah God, I feel it here. A whole lot that you have gone through and how folk have treated you and have made issues of your
life out of their behavior. They have left you issued down with all kinds of perplexities. That's why you don't jump in new
relationships until you reflect upon your history, and then move into the revelation of who you can be. Ah I feel God here.
You did me wrong, but I'm healed. I'm not stepping into my future with you on my mind. I've bought you up, I've cleansed my mind
now I'm going forward into a future that is indicative of the power of God. Can I preach like I feel it?
I just got to get a little heavy and then we're going to sail. You've got to understand the significance here then of having
good experiences. The better your history of good experiences are is the more you want to remember and hold onto.
That's why in relationships that are wonderful, you have a tendency to deify them in the memory of the good things.
That's why certain songs do two things to you. If it was good when you heard the song, it brings back good memories.
I'm riding in the car many times, I'm riding with my parents and I want to hear the latest as a kid. They don't want to hear that
No, no turn the channel. Have you ever been on a long distance with you mother and father and you try to find something you can
listen to to enjoy. You turning, you turning. I remember with my kids. Their turning to some hip-hop beat and some stuff and I
say, "Man turn the channel, turn the channel." Then all of sudden it hits some Marvin Gaye, I say, "Let it stay right there, don't move it."
If the song is a song that reminds you of something. My ex-wife used to throw up in my face, "Save the Last Dance for Me."
Then she'd start talking about her boyfriend. You know how it go. Way back in the day and when he played "Save the Last Dance" I
ran and he came to get me. You over here with your cold self