Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
BUG BOY O.S: So Hero Lass, what do you want for Christmas?
HERO LASS: I don't want anything.
BUG BOY O.S: What do you mean you don't want anything?
Everybody wants something.
HERO LASS: Not me.
BUG BOY: That's just sad. HERO LASS: Why?
BUG BOY O.S: It's un-American.
Christmas shopping drives the economy.
HERO LASS: Yeah but I can't vote.
HERO LASS: Who’s gonna get me something? The kid? Santa?
BUG BOY O.S: Well I could buy you something.
HERO LASS: Yeah? Really?
HERO LASS: How?
BUG BOY O.S: Doesn't matter. You don't want anything.
HERO LASS: Okay... if I tell you what I want will you promise not to laugh?
BUG BOY O.S: Okay...
HERO LASS: I want a puppy!
BUG BOY O.S: You know a puppy would chew your face off, right?
BUG BOY O.S: And probably your whole head...
And then it would keep gnawing away at your body until there was nothing left but shredded plastic,
And we'd have to do a funeral.
Like remember the one we did for Black Velvet?
When the kid tied him to the radiator and it melted him? Yeah, like that one...
Only instead of Hero Man's eulogy being all about how pissed he was -
that BV never let him call him Brother Man,
it'd probably be about how he never got to schtup his own half sister...
as weird as that might've been for the rest of us
And then he'd get so worked up he'd probably try to have sex with whatever little bits of you were left,
and Snake would probably have to cut his head off to stop him,
and that would make it a double funeral and what kind of Christmas would that be?
HERO LASS: Yeah... I don't want anything.
BUG BOY O.S: Okay. But remember, you asked for it.
BUG BOY: Merry Christmas, everybody!