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Hello Internet! And...
I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be back!
SHOOSH!
Captioning provided by Channel SHOOSH! for all of the awesome hearing impaired people who like funny things.
Well... that wasn't very professional at all.
Let's try that again.
Hello Internet, I and Michael Knytebane, and this is SHOOSH!
My VLOG or something about things...
Anyway on to today's topic I am going to be talking to you about
four random occurances of ... where...
I try to impress a girl by doing something stupid.
Or related to that.
Alright! First on our list. When I was in high school, which was many, many, many, moons ago...
In the deep yonder, somewhere around 2000. I decided that in the middle of
winter well we were out with
a group her friends. I had a crush on this one girl,
I'll keep name confidential for now, anyway...
And I thought i'd be really cool in the middle of winter, in the middle of a snow storm,
while we were out with friends to climb on top up the Snow Hill...
And I'm not talking about a small snow hill... I'm talking about one that's
15 feet in the air where the plowed snow was piled high on the side of the road.
So I'm climbing up the Snow Hill, she's laughing, and having a good time. I'm thinking
I'm doing a good job, right? Well low and behold what happened when I get to the top, I pull a
Leonardo DiCaprio, and go "I'm the King of the World!"
And you know the snow gave out, and I totally did the splits on the top of the icy snowbank.
And ended up going "Oh god it hurts it hurts"...
Needless to say, long story short. After that I was embarrassed,
and me and that girl never dated. Sadly.
There was this other girl a few years ago that I was dating.
Again keeping her name confidential. And what ended up happening? How did I try to
impress her? Well...
For one thing, keep this in mind that she was a karate master.
She can kick your butt easily as you can kick mine. we're going to keep her name
a little on the downlow...
If that's cool with you. Anyway, what ended up happening was
She's like "We've gotta move! We're getting Evicted!"
and I was like, "Not my problem" She was like "OH! *please knight in
shining armor,
you must help us!" ... So I said to her,
"For you baby, anything." Well worst mistake ever because her mom's a hoarder!
Big-time! Like she's one of the people you would see on the TV show
Horders. I mean her house looks like this!
And if I didn't put a clip in there
then I am a total newb at video editing, Or I just forgot.
But that's not the worst part of it. After we spent a good
eight hours moving, prior to that we spent a good
four or five days! packing, honestly!
Here's what happened. I'd get up to work to go to work at 10am and work until eight
at night, then,
I'd go to her house at eight, and I'd stay there until midnight or one in the morning.
Just packing, and it was the middle winter, it was raining,
it was snowing and I got sick as a dog.
But that's not the end of it. Oh no... as all good relationships go, we ended up
breaking up...
I just got a broken heart... :( Anyway so about a year later after a breakup
I get this text message, because we're talking back and forth, I'm friends with
all my ex-girlfriends. I've got no hard feelings towards any of them, and they
have non towards me, that I'm aware of... So I get this text message going
"Hey we've got to move again can yo help?" And me being a complete newbie
was like "Oh really?"
"Your mom's a hoarder! Is your mom still a Horder?"
"You can take your help and shove..... "
"Right... Right... Ok.... I'll be right over."
So like a stupid guy, I helped them move a second time.
It took just as long to move from a house to an apartment
as it took to pack up their apartment to move
to another bigger apartment where she could undoubtably hold more stuff.
Long story short, when a girl friend, or an ex-girlfriend as you to help them move...
You find out FIRST.
Are you - or are your parents. Hoarders.
If the answer is yes - seriously - end it there.
Run away screaming. I don't care.
It's not worth it. Which brings us to story number three,
our final story for the day. I was dating this girl really pretty thing.
Love her to bits and pieces. She had a few personality quirks,
Small really. But one of the big ones was
she didn't like crowds. Understandable, I mean you can get sick in crowd, you can
get crushed by a crowd, you can get lost in a crowd.
Crowds really have no potential except to distract,
annoy, and make angry. So as far as that personally quirk, she hated crowds.
So what did I go and do? I called her up and was like
"Hey, you, me, Zombie Walk"
Dressing up in makeup, you know he blood and gore.
In this cold weather - this cold Canada October weather.
Doing the Zombie Walk outside its kinda raining.
How could this end badly for me? So the Zombie Walk went alright. We got there
and she was in a bit of a bad mood because, let's face it, crowds
suck. So we're doing the Zombie Walk thing, going "ZOMBIENOISES!"
"MORE ZOMBIE NOISES"
And the zombie walk comes to an end with absolutely no trouble.
So we tried to call for a ride, I don't drive,
she didn't have a car - her parents have the car - So we tried calling them and
they were like
"we are unavailable to take your call. Please try again" and we were like
really, we're stuck in the middle of this city, and neither of us knows...
What are we to do?
So in our infinite wisdom we deduce that there is a street this way street this way we
gotta go in that direction
We think. But we got turned around and were on the wrong side of the street. So we get onto a bus
to go home.
And what should happen? Well, we take the wrong bus.
And it's going in the wrong direction. So dispite
everything, my navigation skills are awful, hers are better but
in a city she doesn't know, hers are just as bad.
Don't tell her I said that, she'd be mad at me.
So moving on. Long story short, don't take a bus if you don't know where it goes because you're going
to end up somewhere where you don't know where you are.
Cell phone back then, well the GPS not so great. Because neither of us had a smartphone.
You know we couldn't get a hold of anybody we should have just called a
taxi, but we didn't because we are noobs!
And we got lost in SPACE!!!
No, but seriously, we did get lost in the city, but we eventually made it home.
The Zombie Walk was fun.
But it could have gone a little more smoothly.
So guys, if you are dating a girl or are interested in dating a girl,
Don't do stupid things. Be Yourself.
Don't do stupid things... wait... we already covered that one.
So yea, don't do stupid things, be yourself, have fun,
and carry a map with you at all times if you have any doubt on where you are carry a map.
Got it? Got it? Got it? Good.
Well that's about it for what I wanted to say today, I got to tell you a
couple fun stories.
If you like this video click on my face here to subscribe,
or go check some gaming videos on our other channel
right here. Until next time you guys, take care of yourselves, and don't forget to Like and SUBSCRIBE!
Later you guys!
Captioning provided by Channel SHOOSH! for all of the awesome hearing impaired people who like funny things.