Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
I remember that
I would hit myself with such fury and anger.
My father was very rigid, very *** us.
And after, he would beat us with thick, black ropes.
For no reason other than that, I think, this was his way of correcting us.
My mom would go to the store or wherever with my sisters,
and I would always, sometimes, have to stay home.
When I stayed home, my brother would suddenly come home.
I was about 12, 13 years old.
And when my brother came home, he would abuse me.
He threatened me, I think with a knife he had
and that if i didn't do it... I was supposed to do what he wanted me to do.
He touched me and made me take off my clothes and have sex with him.
Always when he came, I knew already what it would be like.
On occasions I didn't want to stay. I wanted to go with my mom
but there were times that my mom didn't take me.
I never told her this was happening. I never told her that he was doing that to me.
It happened several times, many times.
I had an aunt who lived in Dallas, and I had to go and live with her.
My uncle did drugs and I saw how they would cook it with the stove.
Then they would inject their veins with a syringe and
so many other things they did around me.
So many men who came over to use drugs
in the apartment with my uncle.
And at night it was like
going back to relive what I went through when I was 13.
I didn't sleep because I was watching to see if my door opened
if my cousins came in the room.
I would pretend that I was still asleep and I would feel when they touched me.
Then it would be morning, and another relief, but then night would arrive again.
And again the same suffering came with it.
I was just begging God to heal me on the inside.
And it was because of this that I was able to survive such abuse.
I remember when the Pastor started to preach and
said that Jesus Christ loves us more than anything.
And I said to myself, how is that possible? Can there really be such love for me?
"All who want to be forgiven,
simply need to come up and accept Jesus Christ into their heart."
I remember that I went up, knelt down, and started to cry and cry and cry,
and I said to God that if He really truly loved me,
first, I wanted Him to help me forget everything in my past.
And thanks be to God.
God changed me, he transformed me, he made me into a different person.
I love the people who hurt me.
The people who harmed me.
Hate doesn't exist in my life, it doesn't exist in my heart.
Forgiving people:
Wow, it's very easy to do now.
Because Jesus Christ forgives us.
And he said: if we love each other, we have to forgive.
And forgiving others for all the hurt they caused me,
I forgive them and that forgiveness overcomes everything.
When Jesus Christ is first in my life,
it's something extraordinary. It's radical. It's something very radical.
It's something great, very great.
There is a big, big difference when Jesus Christ is first in your life.
In everything. Mentally, verbally, physically, in everything.
My name is Irma Ramirez and I am Second.